FutureMrsHadi
Dedicated May 2021

How Soon is too Soon?

FutureMrsHadi, on April 13, 2021 at 7:25 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
Saved
Reply

Okay, so I might have messed up slightly when I put the RSVP date on our invitations. Somewhere in my mind I knew that I needed our final headcount for our venue 30 Days Out. We get married on May 23rd, and for some reason, I put May 1st as our RSVP Date. I don't know what I was thinking, honestly.


So now I'm not quite sure what to do, because I need to have as close to a final headcount as possible by April 23rd, and about 1/3 of our guests have RSVP'd.

Can I start calling and asking people to RSVP now, or should I wait a while longer?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Mcskipper, on April 14, 2021 at 8:58 PM
  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    Wait a little longer. Maybe start calling Monday or Tuesday depending how many you have to call and just explain you out the wrong date.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    In my experience, you will never have everyone RSVP by the due date. A big reason for this is people tend to think they’ve already RSVPed when in actuality they haven’t. Personally, I don’t think it’ll be an issue if you start calling people.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    Do not contact anyone until the day after your due date. A majority of your replies will be in the mail on the last day. The rest you spend the next couple days contacting until you get everyone accounted for.

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated August 2021
    Lw ·
    • Flag
    I would start calling/texting Monday. People will understand and should already know if they can come or not!
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Can you ask your vendor if they can extend the date of needing your final headcount until May 3rd? That way you aren’t calling guests about their RSVP when, according to your invite, they have until the 1st.

    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    I’d first ask your vendor if there’s any way they could wait the week for final numbers.
    If that’s not possible, in this case I would reach out to people before your deadline (I would wait until after this coming weekend though, give them a bit more time— hopefully it will also lessen how many you need to contact), but I would make it VERY CLEAR that you’re reaching out because you made an error in when you needed responses by, so it’s putting it on you instead of putting it on them or seeming pushy.

    I have been reached out to and asked for an answer once when it was still two weeks out from the deadline and it made me REALLY annoyed tbh haha. Frankly I felt like she was maybe looking to give my seat away, and I was delaying an answer due to financial reasons. When she reached out I was still trying to look into ways to make it work but when she asked for an answer on the spot, I just said no and declined attendance. If the situation had been different and she had made it clear to me that she had made a mistake and numbers were due sooner than she thought, my whole feelings and approach would’ve been different !! So I do think a little info goes a long way .
    I think you will HAVE to reach out (unless the venue can be flexible) bc many people respond right near the deadline (both yays and nays!) so there’s no way to have a reasonable guess at a headcount before then.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    (Personally id target Tuesday the 20th, *after* mail has come in for the day [in case you get a few extra responses], that way people have a couple days still if they’re not ready to answer you on the spot.....or you could do it Monday so it’s like you’re giving them the week)


    I’d say something like “so sorry, it has come to our attention that our venue actually requires a headcount by this Friday (23rd). Hate to rush anyone into a decision and I know some of you have maybe already even put your rsvp cards in the mail, but even so please text or email your response by Xx time on Fri 23rd so we can make sure we are able to give the venue the right numbers. Our apologies for the last minute change! Thanks so much for your cooperation”
    Instead of asking for answers on the spot, I’d try to frame it as offering a new deadline and a new way of responding Smiley winking ....I do think framing will make a difference in timeline, now that I’m talking it out. Even if you sent it on Friday, I think it would be okay, as long as you’re presenting it as a new deadline vs answer me now plz thx
    • Reply
  • FutureMrsHadi
    Dedicated May 2021
    FutureMrsHadi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Oh that makes a lot of sense, and is a good way to word it. We aren't doing mail in RSVP's anyways, so it's all through our website. Thanks for all the advice!

    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Online RSVPs make it even easier ! Good luck
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics