How old is too old to be a ringbearer?

I think having him as the RB is just fine...and meaningful. I’ve seen where the bride’s grandmother and groom’s grandmother were the flower “girls”. I think it was great!!!!

I think it would be sweet to have him as the ring bearer. Even if you decide against the ring bearer idea, I would try to incorporate him into the wedding somehow ☺️

You could ask him. I've seen everything up to grandmothers being ring bearers. But a 13-year-old is often very conscious of not wanting to be seen as a child, and may not want to do it. At that age, you could even make him a groomsman, which would make him feel very grown up.

But you don't need a ring bearer at all. (Even when people have them, they typically don't carry the actual rings.) Attendants should basically be people you want to honor, rather than just searching for people for defined roles. And at an intimate wedding, you may well want to limit the size of the wedding party anyway. (You don't want to have more people standing up front than sitting in the chairs.)

He can carry the rings whether you call him a ring bearer or not. I don’t know if I would call a 13 year old a ring bearer, but if he’s ok with it then it’s not a problem. I am having my son (who will be 12) walk me down the isle. He wants to stand by me during the wedding, but I’m not calling it as any specific role since I’m not having a bridal party and don’t see any reason to label him. Everyone knows who he is, the same as everyone will know who your stepson is. I think it’ll be special just having him included in the wedding.

I think making him a junior groomsman is more appropriate for his age. But if he is okay with the title, then go for it!

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I feel a lot better.

At 13, he has an opinion about this— and his is the ONLY one that matters : it’s not “too old” unless HE feels like he is too old for the role. Ask him what he thinks. Maybe he’s fine with it. Maybe he likes the idea of carrying the rings but doesn’t like the title and wants something more mature sounding. Maybe he doesn’t want to do it at all. But, he’s only too old if he thinks he’s too old.

View Quoted Comment I'm having 4 bridesmaids and a maid of honor. 4 groomsmen and a best man. I think making him a junior groomsman who carrys fake rings is beautiful. Thank you

View Quoted Comment He loves the idea. He's excited to be part of the wedding. Thank you for your advice.

View Quoted Comment ❤️ then he is the PERFECT age

Thank you all. My stepson is on the lower end of the spectrum. He's 11 now but has the mentality of an 8 or 9 year old. He's excited to be part of the wedding and he's ok being called ring bearer. I do know he won't have the real rings. I feel alot better thanks to you guys. Much thanks