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Savvy September 2019

How old is too old for a ring bearer?

Lauren , on June 15, 2018 at 10:26 PM Posted in Planning 1 16

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Hey guys!
My FH are disagreeing about how old is too old for our ring bearer. Our flower girl is going to be my goddaughter and she’ll be 2 1/2 at the time of the wedding. My FH wants us to have his cousin who is currently 10 or 11 be our ring bearer but I think that’s too old? When we get married he’ll be either 11 or 12. I guess it’s just because every wedding I’ve been to the flower girl and ring bearer have been young, no more than 6 years old. Plus I think i prefer to have them close in age. What is your opinion? My FH doesn’t see anything wrong with the age at all but for some reason I disagree. I could definitely be wrong and just be working off of this vision I have in my head.

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16 Comments

Latest activity by christina, on October 17, 2019 at 5:52 PM

Expert September 2019
Anna · on June 15, 2018 at 10:48 PM
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I don’t think it’s too old. My nephew is going to be 11 when we get married and he’s going to be the ring bearer. We are having it like “ring security” and will have the rings in a brief case that he’ll carry
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Super June 2019
Kelci · on June 15, 2018 at 10:52 PM
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I think 11 is too old. That’s mainly because all weddings I’ve been to they have been 8 or younger. We aren’t doing flower girl or ring bearer because everyone in both our families are too old.
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Dedicated March 2019
Andrea · on June 15, 2018 at 10:53 PM
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If his nephew wants to do it,
i think it’s fine. Older infants and toddlers aren’t really able to fill the role other than to hopefully make it down the aisle.
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Devoted April 2019
Mrs. G · on June 15, 2018 at 11:54 PM
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I don’t think that’s too old! I’ve been at wedding where the ring bearer was around that age and the flower girl was around 3-4 and it looked totally fine!! It was actually super cute! I say go for it!
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Devoted June 2019
Angelica · on June 16, 2018 at 12:03 AM
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Look at it this way, where he is older, if she gets nervous or tries to stray from what she's supposed to do, he can get her back on track. My flower girl is going to be nine, because everyone starts off shy in our family when they're young.
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Super June 2018
NinjaBride · on June 16, 2018 at 1:42 AM
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It’s literally up to you. If you are close to him and want to include him then ask him. He can decide if he’s “too old”. If it’s a relative you aren’t really close to, but are just trying to fill in the position of ring bearer don’t do it. It’s unnecessary.
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Super August 2018
thyia · on June 16, 2018 at 1:54 AM
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Our flower girl will be 11
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Super January 2019
PalmTrees · on June 16, 2018 at 2:13 AM
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I think it’s up to the individual kid. Some 12 year old boys might be okay with it, most would probably not be into it. They’re in middle school by that age so usually over that type of thing.
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Dedicated July 2018
BlushingBride · on June 16, 2018 at 5:43 AM
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I agree he's too old. My brother is 9 and I think he's too old to be a ring bearer. I think flower girls and ring bearers should be between 4 and 7 years old.
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Dedicated September 2018
Lexi · on June 16, 2018 at 6:44 AM
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I don’t think that’s too old but I definitely get where you’re coming from-many ring bearers and flower girls are younger. I think my nephew was 10 in his dads wedding. Honestly it Would probably take away some of the worry on the big day because since the nephew is older he can follow directions better and is more likely to make it down the aisle without crying or going astray
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Expert December 2018
Debbie · on June 16, 2018 at 8:27 AM
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I'm doing the ring security brief case also. But my FH wont be a ring bearer, rather a groomsman instead. So he will be on stage with his older brother and the best man.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on June 16, 2018 at 3:19 PM
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My son is nearly nine and he was thrilled to be our ring bearer. It's up to the individual child what they are too old for.
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Dedicated September 2018
Ashley · on June 20, 2018 at 9:05 PM
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We have two flower girls, one is my nieces and she is 5.. the other is my fiance's half-sister (his dad remarried) and she is 11.... I don't see a problem with age differences.. and definitely don't think 11 or 12 is "too old" for a flower girl/ring bearer.
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Beginner October 2020
Cruz · on March 29, 2019 at 12:23 PM
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So my wedding is Oct 2020 and my daughter will be 16. She said she wanted to be the ring bearer. Can I get some feedback on that. She does not want to be a junior brides maid either.
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Expert June 2019
maryann · on March 29, 2019 at 3:37 PM
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I don't think that it is too old. I think it is just what you want too do..... My flower girl will be 9 (daughter) and ring bearer will be 6 (stepson)....
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Just Said Yes September 2018
christina · on October 17, 2019 at 5:52 PM
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It’s ultimately your decision and let’s not forget it’s your wedding. So do what pleases you on your special day, because I certainly plan to. My one and only son will be 11 and he will be our ring bearer. And my flower girl will be 10 next year when I get married..
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