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SaraGdwn
Devoted November 2022

How Much Time Do You Give Guests To RSVP?

SaraGdwn, on December 5, 2016 at 10:29 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 26

Good morning all, I am getting married September 1, 2017. My finance and I are located in South Florida, but are having family and friends coming from opposite ends of the country (WI, NV, MO, IL, MA, ME) and other countries (Germany, Brazil & Venezuela).

We are sending out invitations the end of this month/beginning of January so everyone has plenty of time to make arrangements, but I'm not sure when I should ask them to have their definite answer to us.

Please & thank you!

ETA: I jumped the gun guys. I get it, save the dates are the way to go. Thank you all for the insight and advise.

26 Comments

Latest activity by SaraGdwn, on December 6, 2016 at 1:05 PM
  • Fitz
    Master August 2018
    Fitz ·
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    When does your caterer need the numbers by? You should make your rsvp date a week or two before that date.

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  • SaraGdwn
    Devoted November 2022
    SaraGdwn ·
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    Haven't gotten that far yet. I've briefly spoken with the caterer and bounced ideas off of him, but nothing set in stone to require numbers.

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  • S
    Master January 2017
    SnowQueen ·
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    Most caterers require 2 weeks notice on numbers so maybe a month before your wedding. BC of the long time between invite received to response I suspect a lot might forget to mail the card back and you will have a lot of follow ups to do. Just my thoughts.

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  • Mrs. Knolle
    Master July 2016
    Mrs. Knolle ·
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    No more than one month before the wedding (unless the caterer needs final numbers that far out).

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  • AlwaysMs.
    VIP May 2018
    AlwaysMs. ·
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    Don't send invitations eight months before your wedding.

    Invitations go out 6-8 weeks before, and RSVPs should be due about 10-14 days before your caterer's deadline for a headcount. That gives you time to contact all the stragglers.

    If you have more OOT guests than you can easily call and tell them about the wedding, then send STDs. This is exactly what they are for. If you ask for early RSVP's you frequently end up with ore no shows, because people can't predict their availability perfectly further out. A call or note or STD will alert them about needing to make travel arrangements.

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  • SaraGdwn
    Devoted November 2022
    SaraGdwn ·
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    @SnowQueen, we're utilizing WW wonderful online RSVP, and we are frequently in contact with most of our guests. So reminding them shouldn't be much of a problem, but yeah. They will probably forget to... LOL

    So generally, it's pretty close to the actual wedding date?

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  • Polly
    VIP May 2017
    Polly ·
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    I also have people coming from all over the world. I'm making my RSVPs "due" (that feels like a goofy word) at the end of March for a 5/14 wedding. Mine is partially due to catering but also a few other logistics.

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  • SaraGdwn
    Devoted November 2022
    SaraGdwn ·
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    @AlwaysMs. I'm not asking for early RSVP's, I just want to know when the best time time to have them due is. I had no idea what the etiquette is.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Hi Sara! Typically the RSVP by date is around 1 month before your wedding date. Even though you haven't nailed specifics down yet with your caterer - they should absolutely know when they need final numbers/head count by!! I'd ask your caterer, then make your RSVP due date 1-2 weeks before that (so you have time to follow up with non-responders).

    I'd hold off on sending your invitations until 8 weeks before the wedding, but send Save the Dates ASAP!! That way your guests know about the wedding and can start planning / figuring out their travel with all of the information from your wedding website!

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    Wedding 5.25.17

    RSVP date 5.1.17 (my venue said they'll need final numbers by 5.15.17. This will allow me two weeks to follow up with those who didn't turn their RSVP in.)

    I will be sending my invites no earlier than 3.30.17, but no later than 4.6.17.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    @Greene - did you order your invites already? I'm doing the standard 6-8 weeks out before the wedding date. I don't have too many out of town guests though.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    Hahaha oh yea, you're good.

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  • 5starFM
    VIP January 2017
    5starFM ·
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    @Gym, consider sending your invites a lil earlier. Some of my invites took 3 weeks to arrive to guests. Local vs OOT didnt matter. No idea why this happened.

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  • 5starFM
    VIP January 2017
    5starFM ·
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    OP, I sent my invites around 10 weeks before wedding date due to the holidays and did the rvsp reply by 2 weeks before numbers were due to caterer.

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  • GoingBALDwin!!!!!
    Master April 2017
    GoingBALDwin!!!!! ·
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    I'm getting married April 8th, and I put March 1st add RSVP date. That gives me 2 weeks to call people who didn't rsvp .

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  • AlwaysMs.
    VIP May 2018
    AlwaysMs. ·
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    I'm confused. You said in your original post that your were sending out invites end of December/early January for an August 2017 wedding. My response was don't do that because invites go no earlier then 8 weeks before the wedding and make RSVPs due by 10-14 days before your caterer requires a final headcount. Your response is what puzzles me. I get that you are asking about RSVPs, but those are tied to the invite since they get mailed together. You are asking guests to keep track of an RSVP card for months before they can possibly know if they can attend. It's a bad idea to send them this early. I think you got the answer you need about the time frame as it relates to the caterer's deadline but you need to consider a standard window for sending invites along with that. I'm not trying to be an ass about it, but RSVP cards going out this month for an 8/17 wedding is a recipe for many, many calls on your part at the last minute.

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  • Jessica
    Devoted June 2017
    Jessica ·
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    @GreeneBunny, I was planning on sending ours our April 1st also. Our final count is due June 1st, and we'll set our RSVP date as 5/16, most likely. All of his family is out of town, with at least half located in Europe so I wanted to send them out a touch earlier than the 6-8 weeks standard.

    Not sure if that helps any.

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  • SaraGdwn
    Devoted November 2022
    SaraGdwn ·
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    I'm not using RSVP cards, I think that's where I lost you. I'm using online RSVP's. Someone is probably going to tell me how horrible of an idea that is, but I think its easier and convenient for everyone.

    With everyone's responses, I realized I was jumping the gun a bit and we're just going to order save the dates. I was trying to save a bit of money by skipping them (I can't believe how expensive such simple designs are!), but realized it just wasn't a smart idea.

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  • Mrs.K
    VIP June 2017
    Mrs.K ·
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    You're sending out you're INVITATIONS 9 months in advance? That's far too early...you should be sending out your Save the Dates at this point... invites go out 6-8 weeks in advance...

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  • SaraGdwn
    Devoted November 2022
    SaraGdwn ·
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    @Mrs.K Please read the comment literally right above yours.

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