Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes October 2022

How much of a gift?? Please help!

Momaroo, on July 9, 2019 at 5:12 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11

Saved

Flag
Hide content

My husband and I are traveling to a close friends wedding. Some guests are traveling but I think more than half are local. We are expecting our first baby and she knows we don’t have a ton of money - she didn’t even expect hubby to come to save costs but I just didn’t want to travel alone being pregnant. We had to use his Christmas bonus to fund this trip.

I always follow the customary “cover your plate” and give at least $100 per guest, more if we can and it is close friend/family. My question is, what would be ok here? I happen to know it is a smaller wedding, at a cheaper setting at well and they are paying $35 pp.

i know people say all the time you shouldn’t pay to travel if you can’t afford a gift as well but in my eyes we had no choice. I couldn’t miss this special day.

Flag
Hide content

11 Comments

Latest activity by Steph, on July 10, 2019 at 4:07 PM

Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on July 9, 2019 at 5:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
Could you afford something less? Maybe $50/pp or cover the cost of the meal?
- Reply
VIP August 2019
Futuremrsk · on July 9, 2019 at 5:21 PM
Flag

Hide content
I always gift what I can afford without going broke or having to put groceries on the credit card that month. If that means only 75 dollars in a card with a nice note, then that's what I gift. For my one brothers wedding, it was right after I had major surgery and was out of work at the time. I love my.brother, but could only give 40 dollars with a card at the time. If I could have given more I would have.
- Reply
Just Said Yes October 2022
Momaroo · on July 9, 2019 at 5:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I was thinking $80-$100 but I was worried about it being too little.
- Reply
Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 9, 2019 at 5:29 PM
Flag

Hide content
I didn’t know that anyone still followed the “cover your plate” rule. Gift whatever you can afford.
- Reply
Master August 2019
Allie · on July 9, 2019 at 5:30 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

That is not too little. Especially if you are traveling far. I had to buy flights for a recent wedding and gifted $40. I don't feel bad about it at all. People want your presence over gifts I would hope.
- Reply
Legend July 2019
MrsD · on July 9, 2019 at 5:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
You are 100% fine gifting whatever you can afford. We anticipate out of state guests who pay for flights, hotel and rental car will give way less than if they just had to drive to the wedding. We always spend more on a gift if we don't have to travel, but less if we do just for budgeting. If a guest asked if we would rather have them come or send a gift, we would 100% prefer their presence over a gift.
- Reply
VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 9, 2019 at 5:51 PM
Flag

Hide content
Gift what you can afford and write something nice in the card about how much you love the couple.
- Reply
VIP October 2019
Jessica · on July 9, 2019 at 6:25 PM
Flag

Hide content
Coming from a bride's point of view, i don't care if we get any money or gifts. We don't expect that at all. The best gift to me would just be everyone showing up on our wedding day. Id be upset if I knew ANY of our guests didn't come due to not being able to afford a gift. I think anything you give should be fine. Of course, this is only my opinion.
- Reply
Super July 2020
D · on July 10, 2019 at 3:05 AM
Flag

Hide content
$70-100 is what we normally spend. I always thought that was a good amount? We dont make a lot of money.
- Reply
Master October 2019
Jolie · on July 10, 2019 at 10:12 AM
Flag

Hide content
I'd say $100-150 from the both of you combined is fine. I have yet to give friends $100 from each of us as a couple. Maybe in the future idk. But then again that's because it involved already getting a bridal shower gift and/or doing their makeup for their wedding or being in their wedding.
- Reply

Savvy September 2019
Steph · on July 10, 2019 at 4:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think if she knows your situation, whatever you can do would be appreciated. I’ve always done at minimum, $100/pp, no matter what type of wedding or where I had to travel or if I participated in pre-wedding events, but I’m from the NYC area, so I think that’s just fairly customary here (maybe not everyone follows this rule). If I don’t really want to spend a lot (some friends whose weddings I’ve been in) I got a vase or something like that off the registry and it was a little more cost effective.
- Reply