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Beginner September 2024

How much is too much

Emily, on July 10, 2023 at 8:37 AM Posted in Planning 0 12

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One of my bridesmaids keeps trying to push me into having a bunch of add ons in my wedding I don't think is necessary. My venue has a bar that I'm having an open bar for 5 hours. She thinks upon that I need to have a wine slushy truck show up as well that would be an additional $1500. I want only a wedding cake for dessert. She's trying to push I also include a full dessert bar with cookies, macaroons, cake pops, cupcakes, brownies additional to the wedding cake that would be roughly another $1700. She keeps telling me I need a videographer and photo booth when I have a photographer that'd push me an additional $3200. I have the necessities and only the necessities. I have some hor d'oeuvre picked our, but not enough of a selection. I need MORE apparently. I need all the late night snack options.

What are you doing extra for your wedding or have done that you deemed necessary. I don't want anyone bored but I'm already paying a lot for everything. It's overwhelming

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on July 15, 2023 at 5:28 PM

Super October 2023
Alyssa · on July 10, 2023 at 8:52 AM
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I think the videographer is a good idea. I don't think I've heard a bride/groom yet exclaim "wow I remember everything from today!" Usually I hear "I don't remember anything that happened it was a whirlwind"
I think a dessert bar is a great idea, and allows people to munch/graze at their leisure. However it's not worth breaking the bank over.

(I am doing videographer photo booth and dessert table)
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Master October 2023
Cece · on July 10, 2023 at 9:04 AM
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I second the idea of a videographer. If it’s in your budget, I highly suggest it! Photo booths are always a crowd favorite, but definitely not a necessity. Everything else she mentioned would just be fun extras, if it was within your budget and you wanted them. If these are not things you want, then don’t stress about it. If she brings it up again, I would say “ wow, that does sound like a great idea! Unfortunately, it’s not in our budget. But if YOU would like to pay for that, we’d be happy to oblige!” I bet that shuts her up quick lol
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Beginner September 2024
Emily · on July 10, 2023 at 9:32 AM
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I would love a videographer but if I had to choose between a photographer or videographer, I had to go with photographer. NYS photographers/videographers are insanely expensive, I was lucky to find a bundle deal with a DJ and Photographer that she now thinks I have extra spending money to go above and beyond 😅
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Super September 2023
Kimberly · on July 10, 2023 at 10:31 AM
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Sorry, I just find it so inappropriate that a member of the wedding party would chime in with a wishlist for YOUR wedding. Like unless she’s one of the hosts, she has no say whatsoever. It’s one thing if she wants to be helpful and tell you if she regrets not getting something for her own wedding, but even then, it’s just advice since you might not have the same priorities. I would not consider any of the things you listed as must haves. They may be popular crowd pleasers and you probably wouldn’t regret adding any of them, but none of them are necessary.
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Beginner September 2024
Emily · on July 10, 2023 at 10:43 AM
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Yep 🙃 she tried making me change my venue as well to somewhere closer to her house. She has been in a ton of weddings and I knew she'd be helpful if I had questions on what to do but I feel like she's trying to turn my wedding into her dream wedding
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on July 10, 2023 at 11:29 AM
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I would tell her you’re so excited to try these things at her wedding. All kidding aside, none of those are necessary. I didn’t have a videographer at my wedding and I don’t regret it at all. To me, the cost just was too much to justify and we have tons of amazing pictures from the day. However, I also knew that my husband and I just aren’t the type of people who would ever watch the thing. If you and your future spouse decided that you don’t need a videographer, photo booth, wine slushy truck, or insane amounts of desserts or hors d'oeuvres, then you don’t need them.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on July 10, 2023 at 11:38 AM
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This day is about what you and your fiance want so you don't actually have to do anything she recommends. When she offers these suggestions I would tell her thanks for the suggestion or say we already decided about that, but thanks! You didn't mention if she's married or not, but if she's not then she can do these things for her own wedding. I will say we had a videographer, photobooth, candy buffet, and late night snack at our wedding. I probably wouldn't have done the candy buffet if I could do it over again. Half the room didn't even realize there was one because it was on the other side of the room. Or I would have thought about having the DJ make mention of it so everyone would know. The late night snack we added because we had a drink and beverage minimum we had to reach and unfortunately more people declined than we were expecting so we added the late night snack to meet the minimum otherwise we wouldn't have had it. The videographer was important to me, but my husband didn't care either way. He only agreed to it since we had extra room in our budget. The photobooth was important to both of us because we knew not everyone would want to dance so it would be something fun they could do instead. Every guest at our wedding did use the photobooth. We also got a discount on it since it was offered by our DJ.
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Rosebud · on July 10, 2023 at 12:51 PM
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After awhile I d probably get snarky and say something like if you d like to gift us that you are welcome to do so. She probably thinks she’s being helpful but none of those things are a necessity. A wedding is one day and honestly all the extras have gotten out of control don’t break the bank on things unless u and your partner really want it. Happy planning.
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Beginner September 2024
Emily · on July 10, 2023 at 4:14 PM
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Thank you! That makes me feel better, I'm mainly afraid of so much food going to waste. Thankfully my venue doesn't have a minimum for food/drinks. I feel like that may of been her case at her wedding but idk 😂 little too much for me
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Beginner September 2024
Emily · on July 10, 2023 at 4:16 PM
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She definitely has a leader type of personality 😬 she has a ton of experience in weddings and had me worried people would be bored and/or hungry but it seems like too much
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Super December 2022
LM · on July 11, 2023 at 12:48 PM
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I think all those extras are played out really. But, it's not up to bridesmaid, it's you and your partner who are the decision makers here. I would discuss with your caterer if there's enough food, and if you want to add a dessert table later that will be all your choice. I would reply, "no thank you, [partner] and I have it covered". Play on repeat and grey rock this know-it-all.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on July 15, 2023 at 5:28 PM
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This person is not your friend because they have no respect for you or your boundaries. Stop sharing information. If she doesn’t like your choices, she can either step down or keep her mouth shut. She can also do any of her suggestions at her own wedding.
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