How much is too much to ask your bridesmaids to pay?

I asked my bridal party to be in my wedding with them knowing the cost upfront. 3 out of my 5 BMs have to travel to the state we live in, we picked a dress and price range we all agreed on that was $175, and they know if they would like to have their hair done that it costs them (but im not requiring their hair be done, they can do their own if they'd like.)

I mean - I think they should have known that upfront. They could have declined if they weren't sure they were financially able to commit.

I spent over $1000 hosting my best friends baby shower. You don't offer or agree to do things like that unless you are prepared for the cost... same thing goes for being a bridesmaid.

I don't think it's too much. When I have been a BM, I spent closer to $1k with flights/hotel/dress/shoes. One wedding was over $1500 because travel and hotel were so expensive, and my custom dress was $300(!). Being a BM is much more expensive than being a guest, but it is also an honor to be considered. And with friends all over the country, travel cannot be avoided.

Paying for one night of their hotel room is very considerate. You could forgo hair and makeup and maybe buy their shoes (for my AZ wedding that looks like $80 pp)? As a previous poster mentioned, they should have factored travel and attire into account when accepting. It is wonderful you are so conscious of the cost and are willing to help where you can!

The only bridesmaid of mine that is not local is my sister. I'm only asking them to buy a dress. Hair and makeup is optional, shoes are whatever they want to wear (as long as it is nude), jewelry is whatever they want to wear.

If the cost of travel is too much they should have declined. All of FH's family lives in FL, FH and I live in MA and the wedding is in MA. Anybody who can not afford to travel will have to decline. A BM should know that agreeing to be a BM in a wedding they would have to travel to will include costs of the dress and travel.

Adults know what they are getting into when you ask them. They should not be "politely" complaining about anything to you. Seems super immature. You are not asking too much of them & you should not be stressing over it.

I think all in all I paid $500 for my cousins wedding. And that was without traveling. And that didn't include my son's ring bearer suit, bridal shower and bachelorette weekend. . And I didn't get fed for rehearsal and there was only beer at the wedding lol. They may be "politely complaining" which can be really frustrating. I look back on it now and realize the polite complaints I may have had. All that being said, I bit the bullet and sucked it up in the end because I committed to being her bridesmaid.

I would suggest scratching the bach party if the travel and accommodations is going to be a hassel. I know that for me personally, spending the $700 would suck for a 3-4 day trip. Or as @rica has said, reassure them that there wouldn't be any hard feelings if they decide to not go to that. But they really should have known about the cost of travel beforehand. I have been upfront with my BMs about the travel costs (DW wedding here) and have found a location that will be more affordable to those we are inviting, and I am sure that you would have been up front with that sort of information as well with yours.

I had one out of town BM who flew in for the bach party and the wedding. They paid for dresses/hotel (discounted due to her job) and I paid for hair/makeup. Honestly, when you agree to be a bridesmaid, you know you're going to spend a good amount because of costs associated. It's not like they didn't know they wouldn't have to travel. Maybe their financial situations changed and thats why you're hearing about issues now. Consider either canceling the bach party or making it very low key/optional? And I agree with others than an airbnb may end up being more cost effective than a hotel.

I have been part of bridal parties locally that came out to more than that.

Also, they can share a room, share a car and therefore cut expenses. If they knew where the wedding was going to be when you asked them, this should not be a reason for complaints now, as along as they were aware of the arrangements back then, there is nothing for you to be feeling guilt about. If you require hair and makeup you pay for it. Other than that, you should be good.

I would scratch the BP - saves them a night of hotel and expenses associated with the event.