How much is too much for Bachelorette?

I think that's a question that should be directed at your bridesmaids. $1000 per person seems expensive to attend a bachelorette party, but only your bridesmaids can answer if that is in their budgets and/or if they're willing to spend that amount. Ask each person what budget they'd like to stay in, and then make sure that the total cost per person meets the lowest budget.

All you can really do is tell them what it will cost, and let them say yes or no individually. You shouldn't require it or have hard feelings if anyone declines. It will be a fun trip for those who can make it, no pressure.

A group of friends just went on a Bachelorette weekend to Disney and Harry Potter World and it ended up costing everyone about $700 before food & drinks and other purchases. I was invited to a Nash Bash where flights would have been $300 and I just couldn't swing the $600 price tag at the time. I told the bride, and she was super understanding, and we made a point to hang out after she got back!

For my bach, we're looking at $200 or less per (most) attendees, but my wedding is a destination wedding and I couldn't justify asking my best friends to spend $1000 twice, you know?

But if it makes sense with your group, and it's what you want to do, the worst they can do is tell you they can't make it!

This is so a know your crowd situation. The most I would have paid for a bachelorette had it not been cancelled due to COVID was probably about $2k, and I’m in a similar income bracket/stage of life to you and your friends. I wasn’t happy about those costs, though I would have just sucked it up and paid since destination bachelorettes with location picked by bride or MOH with zero input from bridesmaids is standard in my group.
$1k with flights seems pretty reasonable for a weekend IF accommodations are high-end and meals and wine tasting experiences are as well. (Nothing like paying $500 pp for two nights and having to sleep on a full size air mattress on the ground with two other girls!)

I agree with Kylie, this is a good deal for SF/Oak flight, 2 nights solo or shared room, limo transport north, festivities, and food. You could offer to cut costs by putting 4 persons to a double, but let that be their choice.

I wouldn't pay $1000 for a weekend even with my husband. People are different, that is why its important to privately ask each person their max budget and go on the lowest person.

I personally wouldn’t pay $1000 for a bachelorette weekend. There’s no reason to have such an extravagant “night out”.
But if the girls from out of town have to fly in anyway and are willing to do so then it probably doesn’t matter where you do it. I would just ask them if they’re comfortable. And if they say no, just remember you don’t get a say in how they spend their money even if to you it seems like they should be able to afford it.
I hope you have a lovely celebration with your friends.

You should solicit each one individually and ask her what she's comfortable affording. Then you'll know your budget.

I agree with the others. In addition, just because someone makes a certain salary, doesn't mean they will be able to afford things. You are overstepping a bit in my mind by kind of spending their money for them. They may have other uses for their money, like investments etc.

100% that is WAY too much money to expect your bridesmaids to chip in unless they've been consulted and are more than happy to pay that.

Unless you pay for your friends’ bills you are not in any position whatsoever to speak to their ability to afford this trip – just because someone earns good money doesn’t mean they are rolling in it after all their liabilities and making such an assumption would be incredibly ignorant on your part.

In any event, whether your friends go on vacation regularly or not is up to them and at their sole discretion but that doesn’t mean that they have to go on this trip or that you should be expecting them to.

This seems expensive to me and while they may make decent money you do not know what their other bills/obligations are. If this is really what you want to do go for BUT be prepared for some of the girls to not be able to attend. I still vividly remember privately discussing my budget for a bridesmaid dress with a bride (we all wore different dresses in the same color) and the dress she picked for me was twice what my budget was. I was very upset with her for totally disrespecting my budget.

This is a know your crowd thing. I would not spend this much per person on my fiancé or my best friend and I would decline the invitation no matter who it was for. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like them or aren’t happy for them. I don’t understand the bachelorette destination weekend to begin with because there are so many drawbacks to them in general. Unless you are privy to everyone’s personal finances and pay their bills and know what their yearly schedule looks like, you are not in a position to decide for them what they can and can’t afford or when they are available to travel.

View Quoted Comment I have moved around a lot because of work and my bridesmaids are all in different parts of the country so it would be a destination bachelorette for 90% of them unfortunately. Yeah maybe I’m making assumptions for others because of how I am, I always treated bachelorette parties as a mini vacation so I never saw it as me doing something for the bride because I wanted to go too. But you’re prob right.

Hello!

I agree that it's a know your crowd thing and would consult each bridesmaid before committing to anything.

Generally speaking, your ask doesn't seem unreasonable to me. My bachelorette party will be 4 nights and will likely cost attendees over $1k with flights. My fiancé just went on a 4 night bachelor party which was about $2k per person (that I thought was a bit too much).

So, just survey the crowd! Based on what you said it sounds like your group may welcome the excuse for a vacation.

I truly believe that is up to you and your bridesmaids to decide. I would think about it from the fact of “if I was in their shoes and I needed to spend $1000 on a bachelorette party, would I enjoy it or be pissed that’s what I spent my money on” only pointing this fact out because you will have people that go, but complain the entire time you are there!

I’m actually dealing with the same situation. I’m planning my bach out of state (likely in Vegas). I’m first asking my group of friends if they would even be interested in going knowing they’d have to spend money on flights, hotel rooms, activities, etc. From there I’ll determine the budget based on what people are willing to spend. I’ve spent over $1000 on a bachelorette trip, but I was also the MOH and had to buy decorations, food, etc. I think most people would say $1000 for one weekend is a lot, but you’ll never know until you ask. Like others have said, just ask them what they are comfortable spending and then adjust plans where possible (within reason, it’s still your bachelorette).


One thing I’m thinking of doing as a “thank you” for flying out for the event is to pay for one or two of the activities myself. That way they know I’m being considerate of the time and money they are putting in to help me celebrate. Obviously this is hard to do if you have 10+ people attending, but a nice gesture if you’re able to do it.

Absolutely. I would not ask anyone to pay that amount

Like everyone said, it depends on your crowd. I also want to share my experience, which may help you navigate the situation. My MOH shared a link to everyone to do a sliding scale pool (polljunkie) to figure out anonymously how much on average the group is willing to spend. Based on that, I knew we couldn’t get the kind of lodging accommodation that I am looking for (nothing fancy, but I don’t want it to feel like a college trip in which people would need to sleep on air beds or couch), so I put down extra for the Airbnb to respect everyone’s budget but still get the experience I want!

Not only are you asking a lot financially, you're being entitled by being hurt if they don't go. This is a trip of your choosing. It's different if they decide on their own to spend that much to do something they want to do


I wouldn't want to spend more than $100 on a bach and I make a little over $100k. I'd be furious if one of my friends thought they were owed my spending this amount
How do you know they don't have debt? Have they paid off their mortgages. Do they pay off their credit cards every month? Do they not pay rent? You are being presumptious

View Quoted Comment In what world does one spend $100 on a bachelorette? I think there’s a point people are missing here. When one accepts to be a bridesmaids there are certain responsibilities that come with it. It sounds like people expect to do nothing at all or the bare minimum. I’m paying for the bridesmaids hair, makeup, hair, AND stay for my wedding and you’re saying $100 is a lot to spend on me? When we spend $100 on a single dinner going out together? Idk, that sounds like I’m the bridesmaid. I think peiple nowadays expect more than they’re willing to give.