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Savvy September 2020

How much does his opinion matter to you?

Tahia, on May 18, 2019 at 5:48 PM Posted in Style and Décor 0 24
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I’ve been very insistent about my fiancé participating in the planning of the wedding. His opinion matters, it’s both of our day! But I’ve tired him out where he’s kinda done. I feel little bad making decisions about the save the dates and invitations alone, since he’s lost interest🤷🏽‍♀️

24 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on May 22, 2019 at 6:30 PM
  • A
    Savvy March 2021
    Anne ·
    • Flag
    I asked him what he had any opinion on when we began planning and he said food. Everything else he had no opinion on. Also, he had only been to very few weddings and I have been in many and been to a lot, so I didn’t mind doing things without his opinion. While it’s our day, he trusts me to make it look nice and I kinda like the ability to make decisions without him. I wouldn’t worry about it or force his opinion when he may not have one.
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  • T
    Savvy September 2020
    Tahia ·
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    Yea, he’s told me more often than not that he trusted my decisions...but you know, there is still that doubt. I do get that part though, that he ACTUALLY won’t have an opinion. Thanks😉
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    My FH has given me very little input, usually when I ask his opinion all I get is “whatever you want.” I’d like more of his input because it is his day too, but he would really rather just go get our marriage license, sign it, and maybe have a small reception. I get the most input from him when I give him a couple choices versus saying let’s sit down and pick something together. He was fairly vocal about bachelor/bachelorette party and wanting to do something combined, so I passed it on to my MOHs even though we’re still over a year out. I know my FH has no interest in the stationary, I’ll show him what I’m deciding between if he wants to see, but I’m guessing he’ll fall back on “whatever you like.” I’ll keep showing him my ideas and asking for opinions, but mostly I lean on my MOHs for advice and feedback.
    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    I usually just pick a couple I like and had him choose between those. He said it was all up to me but I wanted his opinion as well.
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  • M
    Dedicated January 2020
    Marie ·
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    FH doesn't have a whole lot of opinions for me either. I'm always sure to ask him about everything though, because he surprises me with what he does and does not care about haha. And I appreciate it because I know that when he does have an opinion on something, it's something he really cares about and I should really consider it.
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  • M
    Dedicated January 2020
    Marie ·
    • Flag
    It makes me nervous sometimes because my brother got married a few years ago (now divorced) and my mom has mentioned to me that he didnt really have a say in his wedding and that it upset him to not feel represented. My brother is not the kind of guy I thought would've cared haha. Makes me extra sure to include FH, no matter how many things he seems to not give a hoot about.
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  • Nykole
    Expert October 2019
    Nykole ·
    • Flag
    His opinion matters to me, but like every other guy (it seems) he just doesn’t really care that much about all of the little details. I’ve been making most of the decisions and then just running them by him before finalizing just to make sure he doesn’t object. It has worked just fine for us so far.
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  • T
    Savvy September 2020
    Tahia ·
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    I totally AGREE!!
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  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    Sadly, my FH’s opinion on certain things such as decorations, save the dates, etc. didn’t matter to me and he could care less because he trusts my judgment. The one thing he put his foot down on was having our parents present instead of eloping and that the officiant asks, “does anyone object?” Lol.
    i became so stressed out, overwhelmed and hated spending money that I called the wedding off and opted for a courthouse ceremony.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Devoted September 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    My FH will go along with pretty much anything I pick
    • Reply
  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
    • Flag
    He wants you happy, so he's ok with you choosing the details. Most men aren't detail oriented, it makes their head hurt...lol So understand he trusts your judgment and at the end of it its about your vision coming to life. Men don't necessarily envision their wedding day from childhood like we do, they envision the marriage. Don't take it personally and realize this is one of the differences in the sexes.
    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    I asked my hubby what decisions he cared the most about and let him make those. Or if I was stuck on a choice I gave him option a and option b and let him choose.
    • Reply
  • Lizbeth
    Devoted May 2020
    Lizbeth ·
    • Flag
    I'm sure all brides have told you, we make a decision but we still ask if they agree or like it. I have noticed he does like what I have planned or imagined so I go with my own ideas and thoughts and then show him and he just says that's OK and that's that. I believe they just don't care about the details they just want to marry lol.
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    The major things we did together. We went on all the venue tours together, interviewed all the vendors, etc. and picked them together. When it came to smaller things, I've usually picked something and asked if he liked it. For Save the Dates and invitations, I researched the cheapest options and showed him the ones I liked and he would say yes or no. Sometimes I would give him a few choices and ask his favorite. That's usually the best way I've found to keep him involved: give a choice and let him pick his favorite.
    • Reply
  • T
    Savvy September 2020
    Tahia ·
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    I’m realizing that more!
    • Reply
  • T
    Savvy September 2020
    Tahia ·
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    That was a fear....that all the planning would be just too much, making me want to elope. But, so far it’s been good.
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  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
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    There was more that influenced my decision: the venue repeatedly made errors in the contract. I finally had enough and cancelled. I ended up getting my money back because of my dissatisfaction with the contract process.
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  • T
    Savvy September 2020
    Tahia ·
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    I get that. That's where my anxiety is going to come from....looking for something to go wrong. I'm also a stickler for customer service and proper management of things so, I don't blame you.
    • Reply
  • Nichole
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Nichole ·
    • Flag
    We have formed a habit where I make all the decisions but when it is time to put money down i make sure to get his approval first. It's a quick, "these are the invitations I've decided on. Is there anything you dont care for?" Usually the answer is no, or a question about what something means. If there is anything he wants changed we discuss it and come to an agreement. He is not big on planning so I've found that this method works best for us.
    • Reply
  • Jenna
    Dedicated July 2019
    Jenna ·
    • Flag

    I ALWAYS ask my fiance his opinion on stuff in the wedding. It's his wedding as much as mine... He's already been married once before, but this is my first marriage and anytime he says "this is for you, I want you to be happy, it's your decision, etc." I always get a little sad and remind him it's about HIM too! Lol!

    I would say talk to him about it. Open communication is a great foundation for a strong relationship. Tell him your feelings behind it (tell him you don't want him to feel left out), ask him why he it seems like he feels "done" with the planning... Was there something he really wanted that he didn't get, etc? If he says he just doesn't have an opinion, that's fine. Just let him know you're asking because you care about him and how he feels about things/his opinions. Smiley smile

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