How many times should you follow up with missing RSVPs?

Three strikes you're out. But even that seems too many. People suck, don't they?

If you haven't heard back and you have contacted them twice via two methods (one phone, one email), you are done. They've given you their RSVP, and a loud one at that.

On the bright side, you're having far fewer guests!

Contact them all one more time and give them a deadline. "If we don't hear from you by June 11th, unfortunately we will have to count you as a no. We hope you can make it!"

Then, if they don't answer by that deadline, they're a no and there's no meal or seat for them (though your caterer likely prepares for "crashers" and really will be able accomodate them if they do show up anyway)

I had the same problem.

My respond by day will be labor day. I plan to wait until the following weekend in case anyone put it in the mail at the last minute. Then I make one phone call. If I have to leave a message it will say along the lines of..."If I haven't heard from you by "this date" I will assume you are unable to make it".

I am waiting a week after my deadline and then I will make one follow up call per invitation. If they don't respond, I will count them as a no. They have had plenty of time, especially since we sent nearly everyone Save the Dates.

You've gone above and beyond, but 75 households could throw everything into an upside down mess if they actually show up on your wedding day. I would do one massive email, and this is what I would say:

Dear Guest(s),

We sent you an invitation to our _______, 2015 wedding. The RSVP date was June 1, which, as you know, was last week. We haven't received the pleasure of your response, and we are assuming that you either didn't receive our invitation or we didn't receive your response for reasons outside of our control.

We extended this invitation because our wedding day wouldn't feel complete without you. We do realize that some of our guests may not be able to attend, and we understand that. However, if you are planning to attend, would you please contact us immediately and advise us of your intentions so that we can be assured you are hosted in the manner in which we intended. Kindly contact us by ____ if you plan to attend. You can reach us at (email address) or (phone number). As of ______,2015, we will be providing our venue with the number of confirmed guests. If we don't hear from you by that date, we will have to assume that you cannot attend. Thank you for your immediate attention.

With warm regards,

Catie and Mr. Catie

After that, it's a done deal.

I tried a few times and if they still can't get back to me (which some didn't), then they aren't coming! I really dislike rudeness and I find not RSVPing or at least returning my message and being like "Oh hey sorry I can't make it" really rude. Like, it's not that hard people. I even stamped the envelope for you. lol

I'm following this post so it won't get lost when I need it later

Ooh! What The Centerpiece Flowers said! Spot on!

Once. Really. These are adults. Centerpiece has crafted a lovely response but honestly? I wouldn't even do that. If they really want to come, they will respond right away. If they are waiting for a better offer or deciding whether to come? Fuck 'em.

Sorry, it's been a week full of couples tortured by their family and friends, and after all the effort you all put into the day? If they can't get their sorry asses in gear to RSVP? Nope.

"We have not received your response to our offer of free liquor, a great meal and a seat to witness one of our most important moments, we have assumed that you will not be joining us."

The end.

And no warm regards, okay?

I'm with Celia. We are following up once. Those who miss the deadline will receive a call to their cell and home phone. They will be given 48 hours to respond. No response, no seat/plate.

@Celia --- YES. YES. YES. I'm getting some RSVPs already (whoooo!) and some are so excited they received theirs, yet I'm waiting for their response. I'm doing the "once is enough" deal. I already made it easy by doing the RSVP online---get off Facebook and respond, dammit!

Honestly I would contact them once. Twice maybe but if you have heard nothing within a week from contacting them, assume it's a no.

I tend to err on the side of caution, and if that's a possibility, I can't get on board with "fuck 'em". Ten non-responses would lead me to believe that those invitees didn't care enough to respond. Seventy-five households? That's significant in my book, and it allows me to believe that there may be the slightest possibility that a stack of those invitations never made it out of the post office (stranger things have happened). If I'm wrong, what's the harm? How much effort does it take to send a mass email? Fifteen minutes?

Warm regards? Yes, I always end with warm regards if it's a personal communication and not a business communication. It costs me nothing to type those words -- even it's going to be the last thing they'll hear from me.

I would say one and done. If the person can't respond after the first reminder your wedding just isn't that important to them.

I'm in between- forget them and give them a final deadline to respond by otherwise they cannot attend.

I also read another thread that the bride shouldn't follow up with RSVPs because many people would see that as intimidating and don't like saying "No" to the bride. Maybe have FH, FMIL or one of your parents follow up on them? Maybe they'd get a reaction.

Warm regards is meaningless. It's like "Best".

If you don't have warm regards for people who ignore your invite, email, whatever, why say that you do?

Our deadline is June 30th, most of my fiances family has not replied.....it's so annoying. Why do people find it hard to reply? Also, check this out, the parents of people we invited haven't replied but ther kids did...., more manners/organized than their parents!