How many people should my parents invite?

30 people is a bit unreasonable in my opinion. Her 6k is not going to cover 30 people. I would tell her no and that she can keep her contribution if that's the caveat to her not getting her full guest list . If she does this manipulation for the guest list, she could easily do it for other aspects of your wedding as well.

30 people?! Does she understand that she’s not the bride?! Some of the brides on here have 30 of their own guests in total! Half of the party would be her friends. Does she understand that this is your wedding?? Wow I feel sorry for you. I would tell her to not contribute any money and just try to save up the rest yourself. You’ll be better off. Then maybe she won’t feel like you owe her half of your wedding.

Your parents are not being unreasonable in asking that they invite X number of friends given they are contributing, however, they need to be considerate that despite being the biggest contributor to the wedding budget (a) it is still your wedding, and (b) the total budget will only go so far.

I think you need to sit your mom down and politely tell her that you simply cannot afford to invite the extra 15 people because it would require changing to a bigger venue (and a possibility of incurring losses such as a lost deposit etc). If your mother is willing to contribute more to the wedding to cover the costs involved in having all 30 people, that is one thing, but she needs to be reasonable in the conditions she imposes on the gifting of funds and it would be terribly inconsiderate of her to pull her contribution completely because of 15 people that can’t fit/be budgeted for.

I would say if she’s paying more than half she should be given more than half In guests

It’s not unreasonable but she also needs to realize the budget. Explain to her that increase in the guest count is something you just can’t afford.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this

I will say that while I understand that she feels that by contributing so much that she should have an input on the guest list. I will also say it is completely unreasonable for her to expect such a large number of guests which would amount to half of your total guest list. I would sit down with her and explain that you wanted a smaller wedding with a certain amount of guests also keeping COVID in mind.

You have to remember it is you and your significant others day and if she is forgetting that, then what's the point of having a wedding?

Based on what you wrote, your wedding budget is $10k and your parents are contributing $6k (or 60%). So typically, when others pay.... they also get a say. And, in your case, your parents are paying for the majority of your wedding. I don’t view that as manipulation since you both can easily put your $2k contributions together and have a $4k wedding where you’ll have full control over it. Your parents want 30 guests for their $6k. So the choice is yours whether you take their money... or, instead, have a wedding that you two can truly afford.

As your mom she should help you guys financially out of love not for benefits. No matter how much she chips in she should invite as many guests as you allow her. It's YOUR wedding. Not even trying to sound selfish but like don't be afraid to stand your ground, respectfully lol.

That sucks. Are they family friends that are close with you, too, or just your parents? If you have a limited number that fits within your budget, maybe you can explain that to your mom as to why you can't have all those people there. Unfortunately, $6K doesn't go nearly as far as you would think in planning a wedding, so you aren't going to have an unlimited guest list. Hopefully she will understand the limitations and work with you on who is important to be there. We have 2 of my mom's friends and up to 3 of my dad's friends that I have no connection to that will be invited. Probably 10 or so actual family friends from my side. But our guestlist is at 130. I hope yall can reach a compromise, and that your mom is more understanding.

View Quoted Comment 100%! I can’t imagine OFFERING to help someone out, out of the “kindness of my heart” and then expect to turn their event into my day. That is so uncouth in my opinion. Especially when it’s coming from her own parents too.

View Quoted Comment

Ok totally freaking out cause your name is DJ Tanner lol I'm jealous 💕

View Quoted Comment LOL it’s not my real name LOL but I’m jealous of it too haha