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Savvy May 2023

How many people came to your wedding out of those you invited?

Haley, on September 6, 2020 at 2:13 PM Posted in Planning 0 9

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Hi all!

I recently had my engagement party and it did not go so well. Several close loved ones did not show up even after RSVPing. I felt like a total joke and am hurt that they’d ghost me like that. This had made me second guess even having a wedding. I of course was expecting some to not be able to come but to have half your guests no show after saying they will be there hurts. I considered eloping instead but it was my closest friends and family who didn’t show, so I feel like they’d pull the same thing at an elopement ceremony too. I just wanted to have the special moment to celebrate with everyone but they showed they’d rather be doing something else.How many people came to your wedding out of all those you invited? How did you handle several people no showing?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Rebecca, on September 7, 2020 at 4:52 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on September 6, 2020 at 2:17 PM
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I definitely had a 20% decline rate and then day of wedding I had a handful of people not show up
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on September 6, 2020 at 2:22 PM
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Honestly, I’m hoping that I have people decline. My list has gotten way bigger than we intended it to get. I’ll be pretty upset if people RSVP yes and then just not show up, but again that just comes with the wedding territory unfortunately. It was only an engagement party you said, so I understand it means a lot to you, but sometimes others don’t realize that. Have they given you any reason at all? I think people are a lot less likely to do this towards your wedding then they would be to your engagement party
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on September 6, 2020 at 2:28 PM
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I imagine COVID was a big factor on attendance (esp in TX), so try not to take it very personally. Engagement parties are not something I would attend right now, but not because I don’t really want to or am not truly happy for the couple! I do agree that people could have let you know in advance if they were uncomforable coming due to COVID, but unfortunately this is just the world we live in right now, so expectations probably have to be lowered. Hopefully by the time your wedding rolls around, it won’t even be a consideration! ❤️
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on September 6, 2020 at 2:36 PM
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I'm sorry that the attendance at your engagement party wasn't what you hoped for! It is definitely frustrating when people RSVP yes, and then no-show. Is it possible that some of the attendees didn't attend due to COVID uncertainty? That doesn't make it OK that they didn't show up after telling you they would, though event attendance has been so weird in the time of COVID. From what I've heard, people still no-show for weddings (regardless of a pandemic or not), but I think RSVPs for a wedding reception would be a little more accurate than other wedding events.
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Expert September 2022
Allie · on September 6, 2020 at 3:08 PM
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I second this!
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Devoted October 2020
Waitingtomarry20 · on September 6, 2020 at 4:37 PM
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Due to the current situation, people are declining to attend events, even weddings.
I have a couple of siblings that are uncomfortable attending our wedding and that would have made our wedding celebration just consist of his family, so we finally decided to just have our parents.
You have some time till your wedding date, so things may be a lot better then they are now. If you are eloping this time, then expect people to not show up. Best wishes!!
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on September 6, 2020 at 4:59 PM
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We invited about 150 and only had about 90 RSVP yes. On the day of the wedding, we had about 85 actually show up. One of those said she really hoped to be there, but her daughter-in-law was battling cancer. She got the news days before our wedding that her daughter-in-law only had weeks to live. She was devastated not only because of her daughter-in-law's condition, but that she couldn't attend our wedding. Our wedding was prior to Covid. I think with Covid I would expect a higher decline rate or no shows.
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Beginner September 2021
Illyana · on September 6, 2020 at 6:57 PM
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Im sorry those people didn't show up to your party. I feel like that the wedding is between you and your fiance. They are missing out on this joyous time and love between you guys
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on September 7, 2020 at 4:52 AM
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We invited about 140, and had 80 show up. But about 30 of that was my family, who threw drama, and didn't come. (Most didn't even RSVP. I just figured it out.)
Declines are common, reflect nothing on you, and are now exacerbated by current events.
I'm sorry.
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