How long were you engaged?

I was engaged for about a year. i was always spending weekends with my husband anyway when we were dating and then it go to the point where we started just slowly moving in with each other before getting officially engaged

Initially when I moved to the state we live in now we each had our own apartment, but we spent most of the time at my apartment so we moved in together to save on costs. That was 6 years ago we got engaged in July of 2019, but have been together since August of 2013. In August of 2016 we bought our first home. Just gradually happened and for the most part it was an easy transition.

I didn't have a purity ring, but we're both Christians so we're not living together before the wedding. Our engagement (if we're able to get married in July) will be 9 months. Most of the Christian couples I know have had relatively short engagements.

View Quoted Comment That’s what I’ve seen and I know I’ve messed up but I feel guilty. We were supposed to get married in June and he wants a super long engagement and to figure out how we live together

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I mean, I think that's something you're just going to have to work through.

We definitely didn't do everything perfectly by any means and we weren't always on the same page (he originally wanted to live together before we got married because that's what his parents and everyone else in his family did, but I put my foot down and said no), but we communicated and worked through it all. Guilt is a challenging thing to overcome, but if you don't address it it can destroy you internally.

Is there any particular reason why he wants a long engagement?

We talked about it, and originally I was fully planning on not living together before marriage. In fact, one of the most attractive things my hubby did in our early stages was respect my opinion on that and go with my timeline for getting to know each other. We are living together now and legally married by zoom wedding, so my dad can stop grumbling lol. But we lived together before we got engaged, mostly because we both wanted to make sure we could make things work (he had been burned in his past and my parents had a nasty divorce that made me wary to jump to marriage). Everybody is different, but the important part is talking it out and deciding what is important for you guys. Just remember that no one can decide what is important but you. I do know there are couples that have lived together but stuck to their values- it's hard but it also allows you both to get used to living together. And there is a curve for that lol - there will be things about each other you find annoying. But once you guys figure it out you'll be fine.

View Quoted Comment I think he’s scared. I was set on not living together. However it got the best of me and it was so much easier and his parents are controlling and I couldn’t feel comfortable going over there.
He supposedly wants to see if we work 😂 which is usually before you propose and his mom has him scared

Hey there! My fiancé and I are waiting to move into together until marriage because both sets of parents don’t think it’s the right thing to do, and we of course don’t want to go into marriage making either of our in laws upset. My fiancé has an apartment that will become ours once we’re married and I’ll probably be spending a lot of time over there to hang out through our engagement. We’ll be engaged for a year and three days by the time we get married, and it is hard not living together because honestly, it’d make things sooo much simpler! If you feel guilty about it, maybe if you find a place with two rooms you can sleep in separate rooms until you’re married? In all honesty, if you’re with the right person you won’t question if things will work if you go from not living together to living together, you’ll just know it will! I hope all of that made sense 😂 let me know if I can help you out in any way, or if you need someone to talk to!

My fh and i are waiting to move in together when we finally get married next sat. We have been engaged for almost 16 months. I never wanted to live with a man. It was just my beliefs (not brought up in the church). I don't judge people who do. That's their life. But to me i did see the stats. Also i never wanted a man to just stroll me along. I have seen it many times, not always, but a man will hold off on marrying a woman cause he has her already. I also never wanted to get married. I am a late bride. Both my parents are divorced and saw the very ugly side of marriage. When i accepted christ, I changed my thoughts in marriage. I have 3 baby sisters, ages 16, 14, and 10. When i accepted Christ, i wanted to follow Gods laws, that included waiting for marriage. I also want to be an example to my sisters on what a godly relationship looks like. Him and i have never spent the night and have remained celibate. With this virus, we have talked about postponing it. My fh is such a godly man, he told me he's not disobeying God because of this virus. Remember there is nothing wrong with moving in together. I can't do it, too much temptation lol.

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Yeah that's a tough situation. My Fiance lives with his parents still (he's young - 22) and I do not enjoy going over there because it's a very different dynamic with his entire family around than it is when it's just the two of us. Thankfully I have my own place so we can get quality time when he comes over to my place.

Marriage is definitely a leap of faith though, and it's a life-long journey through both good and bad, so you if you keep waiting to see if "it works" you'll keep finding reasons why it doesn't.

When my fiance and I argue or fight or find ourselves in conflict, I often point out that we are two broken humans learning to love each other in a broken world, and that it's going to take a lot of patience, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

It's not an easy thing you're going through, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Have you gone to marital counselling?

We will have been engaged about 18 months once our wedding comes along in November of this year. We did live together. We met in 2014, began dating in 2016, moved in together in 2017, so we've been living together for almost three years now. We got engaged June 2019. I personally didn't feel any guilt, but moving in together is also just a common thing in my family.

Hi, I’ve never lived together with my fiancé because my parents are strict and won’t allow me to living together before marriage. Me and my fiancé have been together for 2 years and engaged for 4 months and will be married in 2 months 🙂. I’m so glad that my fiancé is understanding about my parents and my culture. I’ve never regret and won’t be regret. Sometimes we argue about it but we love each other so much that there is no point to argue on something that you can’t change which is my culture and parents lol.