How long should i wait?

You're still pretty early! I would honestly give her another few months, and check back in with her in late summer/early fall. Is there a reason you want to finalize your bridal party right now?

View Quoted Comment Yes, I suppose I am a bit early. I guess my reasoning is that some of the other ladies I would potentially ask all have young children, and since our wedding is on Halloween I want to allow time to find others in case they say no. (Because of it being on Halloween.) Also, this is my 2nd wedding and I waited too long the first time (I don't want to make that mistake again.) and I am one of those that either does things super early or waits until the last minute. Thank you for your input.

View Quoted Comment Think hard about replacing BM it is basically sending the message you are only asking them to have a even number of BM and GM. Not cause your truly want them to stand with you.

How important is her answer to the rest of the bridal party?

I asked one year in advance - to the day, and gave a girl 3 months to decide.

I'm in a similar situation I'm getting married 12/12/20 I asked my girls a year ago I definitely regret asking so soon, girls ate moving, getting married getting pregnant a lot can happen in the next almost 1.5 yrs trust me I'd wait until July or august.

You have a few months before a firm yes or no would be needed in my opinion. Have you started on the other details of the wedding such as venue?

You have almost a year and a half to go. I would wait awhile. You could also consider asking why she is unsure (cost, date, etc) and see if you can compromise if you really want her to be your MOH. However, it may feel like you're prying. I don't know if you should really have a list of back up people for your bridal party. Pick your closest friends and ask them to be in your bridal party. Also, if people are big into Halloween, they usually either have standing plans every year or they make plans within the month or so prior to Halloween. Most people don't often start making Halloween plans the year before they've made them for the current year (most people will be figuring out 2019 before 2020).

I agree with the other ladies. It's really early and unless her answer is going to change anything in a dramatic way, you should wait. There's alot you can do without the bridal party as well. If she says no, then I guess you'd have to ask someone else you feel is fit for the role. But no need to rush.

Our wedding is in June 2020 and I’m asking my girls in the next few weeks to give them a full year to save money and make plans in advance. I would take some more time to really think it over, no need to rush with your time frame. I’ve changed my BM’s several times since we started planning back in January. I hope your BF can accept MOH offer once you give her some time.

I would think with her being your BF she'd be thrilled! Something seems fishy to me.

View Quoted Comment That was my thought too. Like yes, I completely understand that I am early, but I guess Im hurt. I mean she's my best friend. I know how she is too though, when she wants to say no to someone she will drag things out b.c she doesn't like the confrontation. Which, I wouldn't be angry if she said no. I just don't want her to avoid it either.

You have plenty of time. I wouldn't pressure her anymore right now. I did not even ask my wedding party to be a part of my day until about 10 months from my wedding date. Though most of them knew it was coming

Also, try not to be hurt by her response. Some people are weary of being BM's due to cost and time associated with it. Being a BM is not cheap and being a MOH is incredibly costly if you are expecting her to plan and attend a bachelorette party, a bridal shower, etc.