How long is too long?

If you're having a cocktail hour, there really isn't a "gap". IMO, unless there is travel from ceremony venue to reception venue (which also should not take a long time), the cocktail hour or beginning of the reception should immediately follow

A cocktail hour isn't the same as a gap. A gap is when there is a length of time between the ceremony and reception. Basically, if people can't just go straight from the ceremony to the reception (cocktail hour or no). I don't like them personally because they can just cause all sorts of logistical issues for your guests. It's esp an issue for OOT guests.

Definitely having a cocktail hour in between would ease the guests impatience for the start of the reception. Usually that gap in between the ceremony and reception is to get your pictures taken, and maybe a receiving line. The longest gap in between that I've personally had experience with was an hour, and that almost seemed too long.

As others said, if there's a cocktail hour, it's not considered a gap. I've been to a few weddings with gaps of over 2 hours and it's such a pain for guests. What do you do? How do you stay looking nice while bumming around your hotel room/house/bar? We're doing a 1.5 hour cocktail hour so we can do pictures, which I thought was long, but vendors have all assured me is fine.

I think my SIL had her ceremony at 1 and reception at 5, and the locations were only about 30 minutes apart. It was really odd for me (we went home and FH took a nap) and OOT family had to go back to the family house to hang out for quite a while. I'd consider that too long. Otherwise, I can entertain myself with apps and drinks for about an hour to an hour and a half before I'm really wanting to get this show on the road.

I'm not sure if this will help, but I've been pondering the same problem. My ceremony will be done by 3:30pm and we're not planning to start dinner until 5:30pm. It's all at one venue and people can wander the gardens if they like, but I will have my reception hall open while they wait for us to finish pictures. During this time we're serving coffee, sweets and a couple of other appetizers. I'm hoping this will be enough to keep people busy. Not sure if I would consider it a cocktail hour, but it's something. Originally I wanted dinner later so I would have more time for photos but I realized it was unrealistic to expect people to wait around that long.

Most catholic church weddings end up with a gap. They told us ceremony at 2pm at the latest because they have 5pm mass on Saturdays... Reception wasn't until 630pm. We opted to do everything at the venue... Ceremony is 6pm ..630pm is cocktail hour n then reception until 1130pm. Gaps are very awkward and inconvenient to the guests.

So we were thinking the following timeline - purely for the guests side. Our first look, etc is not in this. Please let me know if this sounds ok. Ceremony from 4:30-5, 5-5:15 pictures with our guests, 5:15-5:45 guests explore the grounds, 5:45-6:45 cocktail hour, 6:45 - close reception.

The venue is stunning and we wanted people who aren't staying over to get to walk around in it before heading over to the barn (5 min walk from ceremony location) for a cocktail hour. So the max time between the end of pics with us and the guests (we want this at the ceremony location due to the view) and the cocktail hour would be 30 mins. Is that ok?

I think anything longer than 45 mins is too long. We are doing a first look, so hopefully we can get most picture taking done before hand and not leave our guests waiting around for us.

Good advice, Richard! Thanks!

Yea, the grounds are pretty large and 30 mins to explore is on the shorter side but I will take your advice on the timing! Hopefully people just arrive early to take advantage of the place. Thanks again!

My dad only has a few cousins from his aunt. He did not go to the one wedding in Sept because the time between ceremony and reception was 2 or 3 hours(can't remember what one) his back is bad so it would of been very hard on him

Guests should be able to go directly from ceremony to cocktail hour (if there is one) to the reception.

Also just because it's a Catholic wedding doesn't mean there has to be a gap. I'd never even heard of that until I came on here - I've been to lots of Catholic weddings, never one with a gap.

A small gap is acceptable if there is travel time or there is something for the guests to do. I went to a wedding with a 3 hour gap this summer and many of the guests showed up buzzed/drunk.

I have been to a wedding once where they had a 2pm wedding at the catholic church, had us travel to the reception for a cocktail hour beginning at 3:15/3:30 (the mass was 1 hr, travel time was about 15-20 minutes) At about 4:30, they brought us all into another room where they had a local improv group do a comedy show for about an hour plus a little more mingle time afterwards before their 6pm reception. It was a wonderful way to fill that gap and the entertainment was provided. I didn't feel like I was being forced to find something to do. Plus, they were hilarious.

Gaps are awkward and leave the guests trying to find ways to fill the empty hours between the ceremony and reception. Nobody really wants to attend a wedding ceremony in dress clothes and then go sit in the park, walk around a museum, see a movie, or sight see for three or four hours. They'd like to get into their cars and head to the cocktail hour/reception -- or they'd like to be escorted to the cocktail hour onsite. It's asking a lot for people to devote over 10 hours to your wedding.

Honestly, if I were faced with a gap (and I was...once), I would skip the ceremony and attend the reception (the MOG not only understood, she agreed).

Any gap is too long, a cocktail hour isn't a gap. But a cocktail hour is an HOUR, 90 minutes, tops. Whenever anyone is like "our guests can wander the museum/grounds/gardens/etc" - that's great, but no, that's still a gap unless it is hosted while they can do that. I don't want to wander these places in my wedding clothes/heels/etc. Nobody does.

Any gap is too long. They should go from the ceremony end to the reception, with enough time to get there comfortably.