Hoe long have you known your fiancé? My fiance and I met this year and we just got engaged last week. In Tennessee by the waterfalls. It was so romantic and so beautiful. However, coming home was a bit frustrating. A lot of people congratulate us but they also were hinting around at how soon it is. Comments like "if this works out, I'm happy for you. But I think it's too soon" I know I shouldn't let this bother me. But for some reason I just want people to get it. When you meet your person timing doesnt matter. Right?
I do agree in theory, but also if my sibling or one of my close friends met someone and got engaged in less than 7 months, I would probably have an “I’m happy for you, but are you sure?” kind of reaction as well. I think it depends on your relationship with the person. Are they intentionally being malicious, or just checking on you.
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I can understand my family. They were actually very accepting. And it's just a few coworkers. To me, it just hurt because they come up to me and congratulate me but then talk about how soon it is to someone else and how they dont think it's going to last. So it's just frustrating and I'm not sure how to react. Or how to even be around them.
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We are waiting until 2021! I'm finishing up my last two years of college right now before we get married so I don't feel the pressure of planning a wedding and finding school. But yes. Our engagement is longer. But he also wanted me to see how serious he is about me. And how genuine he is. We've both had some ups and downs in life (as everyone has) but that has led us into the negative feeling of no one is going to stick around. We've both never been engaged before. So for us, it is more of a I'm putting this commitment into eachother.
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*nods* that makes sense, and I applaud where you're coming from as well as the steps you're taking to get there. You sound like you're both going into this in a good head space. And it is uncalled for for people to tell you it won't work.
From what you said about the abandonment fears, I do suggest you both go through pre-marital counseling as well. And that suggestion has nothing to do with how long you've been together - I suggest that for anyone with a history of abandonment fears. That helps to make sure past hurt won't damage the foundation of marriage.
I honestly think every relationship is unique! I expected to get a lot more comments from people than I have. My fiancé and I met about 8 years ago (I have honestly had a crush on him since then) and we were reaaaally close friends for the last 2 years- so we only dated 7 months before getting engaged! I knew he was the one after 1 month though 🥰
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I will say one thing though- while everyone that is close to us as a couple (we’ve shared the same circle of friends for about 5 years)- his parents weren’t too happy and that wasn’t fun to deal with for awhile. So you’re definitely not alone!!
I've known my fiance for 14 years and I knew within the first few months that he was husband material and I wanted a life with him. It doesn't take a long time to figure it out for some of us. We were only 18 at the time, so we didnt get married right away. If I would have met him in my 30s, I would have been married within a year. I wouldn't worry about others comments. If you are mature and independent, you know when it's right.
FH and I met when we were twelve. We’ve been dating since we were nineteen so we’ve been together about twelve years now! FH is disabled so it made tying the knot a lot more complicated than just signing a piece of paper. We’re finally at a comfortable place in our lives that we can do this thing! I’m so excited, I didn’t think a wedding would make me giddy since we’ve acted like a married couple for so long but it’s like waiting for Christmas morning(if Santa got me a Ferrari!)
Every relationship is different. Sometimes, you just know, and it seems silly to wait. I've been with my FH for almost 6 years, and by the time of our wedding we will have been engaged for almost 2 and a half. We took it slow, and wanted a long engagement so we could save for the wedding we.wanted. I was 25 when I met him and will be 31 shortly after the wedding. I'm glad I waited, hes amazing!
If it makes you feel better, I knew I wanted to marry my FH someday since I was fifteen. My own mother knew it would happen. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, it’s this feeling you have. Of course you let the logical part of your brain do the talking but it’s ok to get swept up in “I just know” for a little while. Once your loved ones see you happily married for a couple years you’ll stop hearing their concerns. It’s only temporary, don’t worry.
We met and started dating in the beginning of 2016 and got engaged mid 2018.howeverrrr I knew from the start he was the one and he knew too so we talked engagement like six months into our relationship and worked towards it. Hey when ya know ya know I know what you're talking about because I said that about my husband early on and when I'd say he's the one we will get married one day aha. I'd get a lot of looks from my friends that'd be like are you sure how can you tell or is it too soon. I guess ideally to the average person they think like BUT HOW CAN YOU KNOW AFTER SO SHORT?
I understand what you are going through completely. I knew him for a little over a year when we started dating, we got engaged a month after dating and eloped two months later. We were *best friends* for a whole year before we had titles of boyfriend and girlfriend so it felt like I had dated him for a year. We are going on two years knowing each other now and almost a year of being married legally. We are doing a big ceremony for our families and friends on our one year anniversary. It’s just like that saying: when you know, you know. I knew I was so in love with him that it didn’t matter what the timeline was. Here we are almost a year lately and still happy as can be!
I understand their concerns but love is love. Love can be at first sight & can happen instantly or take time. I’ve been with my FH for 5 years and I knew he was the one for me when I met him that night. Even at this point, some of my friends ask “are you sure” or “how do you know he’s the right one?” I think the idea of marriage being a BIG commitment is what raises questions.
They should just be happy that you found the love of your life no matter the timeframe of you being together.