How long before you knew?

H told me on our third date he thought I was the woman he wanted to marry. We got engaged when we'd been together 7-8 months, and married when we'd known each other about 16 months. However, we were 27 & 35 years old, and both very well settled in our careers and personal lives. We've been married 32+ years now. In contrast, daughter and SIL met when they were 16 and were together 8 years when they got married, as they clearly had a lot to accomplish and a lot of growing up to do before they were ready. I think it's more about where the individuals are in their lives, how mature they are, etc., than how long they've known each other. Good luck!

I think it's really more based on your own timelines and what feels right to you guys. If you guys know that it's right, then that's what matters. We were dating for over a year when we decided to move in together, and we still got crap from both sides for moving in before we were engaged or married (my wonderful mother who went through a nasty divorce was the only one pro moving in being our biggest commitment for a bit). I knew I wanted to marry him fairly quickly, but that's because we fit together like two puzzle pieces. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Now that we're engaged, everyone has stopped clutching their Pearl's and just let us be.



My mom actually knew my stepdad for like two months before they decided that they were probably right for each other and started talking marriage. And they've been together for 8 years, the model of a good, healthy relationship. Sure they disagree, but they're also insanely in love with each other. I cried at their wedding like a baby because I thought she would never be happy like that again.

A lot of it may also be that your families don't know you guys yet. Let the holidays pass, let everyone get to know each other, and show why you're right for each other!

We knew each other (but only as acquaintances) for 5 months, date for 2 months before we became a couple, and 4 months after that we moved in together (this was the step that everyone thought was super quick for us). We got engaged on our 1 year anniversary and will be married 1 year and a few weeks after that. If you know, you know. Why wait? None of this felt rushed to us or our families because they saw our relationship up close and were just as confident as us that is was right.

We had known each other for about 3 years before we became really close friends. We stayed that way for about a year before our first kiss Oct 2017. While we knew we loved each other, I have been burned a lot and just assumed it would end like so many other things (mostly because she was scheduled to move out of the state) so I never looked toward a future together. On New Year's Eve of 2017 she told me she wasn't going anywhere. We began house hunting that summer, bought our house in September and right before we moved in I proposed. I think I knew when something that could have caused a fight actually brought us closer despite the actions of others and that is how we always are. We have stood by each other through the loss of someone we both love dearly, surgeries, and all the chaos that comes with house-hunting and wedding planning. People always say they marry their best friend, but I fell in love with my best friend before we ever even thought about marriage. If you have that kind of connection and support together, then time isn't the most relevant part of your love story.

My FH and I started talking in December or November of 2017; we met in person January of 2018. By March of 2018 my FH was making plans to move up by me and moved in with me that May. We got engaged about a year after we first met in person.

We’ve known each other awhile. Been a couple since April. Getting married in January. We are also 44 and 46 and married for over 20 years previously.

The moment I met him in person, after chatting for 3 months online, text and phone.
We were a blind date- set up by his long time friend and my former doctor.

He pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, I went out to meet him and walked into his open arms for a hug and had a “Zen moment” of “Ahhhhhh- THIS is where I am Supposed to be!”

7yrs later we got engaged- a surprise for me!- in Ireland ON my 40th birthday- and 8yrs later we will be getting married!

My fiancé and I Started dating in June of 2013. He said he knew he loved me the first week and we always joked about getting eloped but didn’t because it would upset our families. We decided to wait until I was out of college and had a good job. We got engaged September of the year and we’ll be married September 2021. If circumstances were different I would have married him wayyy sooner!

You don’t know anybody until you know them a year. You’d be amazed at the surprises that come out even when you think you know someone. If you live together starting in January and you’re still ready to get married next December I think you’ll be fine.

After doing six months of long distance (FH was in Argentina), we realized how much we meant to each other. Long distance is not easy, and it took a lot of work on both sides to keep the relationship alive. We got engaged about two months after FH returned to the States. My mother was in shock and kept me at a distance for a couple days. I had to give her space to process and she has since come around - maybe too much! She's always bouncing wedding ideas off of me and offering me suggestions. To sum it up, I'd just give space and time to people who might not be 100% on board. It's possible they just need time to process this big piece of news and they'll come around eventually!

It shouldn't matter what anyone else says or feels just matters how you feel. Don't let others try and change your feelings for your significant others. FH and I have been together for 4 years and I wasn't sure till a year and a half ago. So it's all personal preference.

My fiancé was married before and got married to her after knowing her for a short amount of time. She needed up being narcissistic and a terrible person but he stayed with her for 5 years before he couldn’t take it anymore. This definitely put some hesitation in his family’s side. We knew from pretty early on (within the first couple of months) that we would end up married but he waited until we were together for almost 2 years before he proposed. We will be getting married around our 3 year anniversary. They’ll come around, my fiancé’s family did

Thank you all for your responses! These help me out a lot, put a bit more confidence that I know what I'm doing is right for me!

I think it's important to get to know the person you're marrying, but I guess the exact time frame depends. I'm definitely pro living together first--you'd be amazed at how difficult it can be to acclimate to living together even if you spend all your time together. We didn't even have our first fight until we moved in, and the first few months were rough. Now we're in domestic bliss and are going on 3 years of living together. I think I knew I wanted to marry him within that first year of living together. I knew I loved him within a couple months of dating. I'd been burned pretty badly before, so I took my time.

I knew before our first date I just knew. We were friends for a couple months before our date but I just knew he was special and we were meant to be more than friends. He expressed early on about marriage to me too. Maybe like four months together. We got engaged two years later and had a wedding a year later around three years together. That's very average aha so we didn't necessarily rush anything either. But our sentiment was there.

I’m all for living together before marriage. It’s revealing and helpful to work on issues to see if both people are willing to make the marriage commitment.

My FH told me he knew with in the first couple of months that he'd marry me. When he proposed he didn't do the sweet speech but that night when we were alone he said "one day you were leaving my apartment after the weekend and I thought 'I am going to marry that girl'". I was more jaded (more recent heartbreak) but also knew very quickly. On the other hand, my parents dated 6 weeks before they were engaged and have been married almost 39 years. So when you know, you know!

My FH and I both knew pretty early on that we were "it" for each other. We got engaged after about 8 months of dating and when we get married we'll be just 2 days shy of our 2nd anniversary.

I think it really depends on the person, if you're both happy and it feels right then that's all that matters. At the same time, we also get weird looks when we tell people lol so I get you!

My FH and I met in February and were engaged in April. We moved in together in June, eloped in October, and will have a big wedding in May. His family has struggled with this a bit. My family didn't care at all. I decided early on I didn't care what anyone thought about it. I've waited for my FH a long time after I was widowed when I was 36. He's never been married. We're both in our 40's. After a time, everyone has settled down. Enjoy "love at first sight!"