How involved should the Bridesmaids be?

Your post got cut off, but perhaps the destination bachelorette is the problem. The ones who can't afford it will feel left out of the fun and may be upset that you didn't pick a more local/affordable location.

So to answer the question in the title, the wedding party gets the requested attire and stands in photos. That's the total responsibility of the bridesmaids.

Should they want to, and as a gift to you, anyone but the wedding couple can organize pre-wedding parties in their honour. Sounds like you organized your own bachelorette in your honour. Maybe they are feeling put out because of that?

The only responsibility they have is purchasing a dress of your or their choice, showing up on the wedding day to support you and having fun at the reception. All expectations including costs involved need to be presented transparently when you ask them to be bridesmaids no earlier than 6 months before the wedding. It lets them know what is involved so they can decide whether to participate or attend as a guest only.


Pre-wedding parties and gifts are optional. It’s typically the bridesmaids who plan the shower and bachelorette. Not everyone enjoys or can afford the weekend destination bachelorette trips.

Can you talk to them privately and ask what is going on? You won’t know anything until you do.

Hi from what I have read it seems that you have included them something. Bachelorette party trip. They can help with making something that you are doing DIY project they can maybe help.