How important was your venue to you?

I was pretty firm about mine. We met at the church we had ceremony at and so it was a tribute to where our love story began and I wanted that. My mother in law didn't like the location so she wanted a different one too but I was very firm saying no this is where we want it and that is that

Venue is HUGE to me, it's pretty important to many brides. It's the back to everything, it sets the tone, often the formality as well. Also unless the FMIL is paying for the venue she typically doesn't get an opinion.
Your daughter must be a nice young woman because my FMIL would have been chewed out after the first no.
As far as the bar goes I'll warn you people on here get very aggressive very fast over it and to check with your venue on wether or not it's common to have open bar in your region or not. Some regions it's rude to have open bar, others it's the norm. An option is having unlimited beer and wine vs hard liquor, it's saves money and most people like beer and wine.

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Thanks for the suggestions. We have left the bar issue up the FILs since they are paying for the alcohol. They also want the guests (of whom they have 80% of the guest list) to have lots to eat so they can drink their alcohol. Frankly, this frightens me as I have heard some get aggressive after they have been drinking, and our contract says we are responsible for the behavior of our guests, and that if anyone gets too rowdy, the event will be closed down. We have suggested to pay for a particular catering menu, and if that is not substantial enough, they are welcome to pay the difference. One reason the FMIL is pushing for the all inclusive venue--and not the ambiance of the venue--is because she feels they will get more value for their money.

We really wanted a venue with lots of natural light and something country and rustic. It was important to me that it was beautiful and had good lighting not only because it would look nice but also because we wanted our pictures to be beautiful. My dad could've gotten us a free room at the church he works at but it's very dark and doesn't scream wedding to me, it hardly whispers it for that matter...

That is what our daughter was experiencing. She loves the brick and wood and afternoon light. A community room (which was also suggested) or a golf course is just not her style. Sounds like your venue is perfect for you.

Venue is definitely one of the most important things about a wedding. And if the venue is already booked, she should give up the fight. It’s not her wedding. What does your daughter’s fiancé want? The decision should be up the the bride and groom, not the parents. I understand that you put the deposit down, so you would get some say in it, I feel ultimately it should be up to the couple themselves. As for open bar, I think that depends on your area. In my area, I’ve never heard of not having an open bar at a wedding. My friends just recently told me that in their area it’s common to be open for cocktail hour and cash for reception

The venue was very important to me. Ours had natural elements, Edison lighting, brick walls, etc. I wouldn't have compromised. I don't see why they have to. The other mother should contribute what she wishes. If she doesn't wish to contribute, it's up to your family or your daughter and her FH to pay. I don't see the need to compromise on location.

I think venue is probably one of the most important thing a bride chooses other than her dress. The venue is where it all happens and you envision yourself and your family and friends in that place. If her FMiL isn’t paying for it she doesn’t get a s say. Your daughter just needs to stand firm in what she wants and her FH needs to support that with his mother.