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Dedicated May 2019

How far back in friendship for guests?

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KMedcalf, on January 22, 2018 at 11:41 AM

I realize the answer to this varies, I’m just hoping to hear some feedback ladies. I’m wondering how far back in friendships I should/can go to invite to my wedding? (Before it’s awkward?) I have moved many times over three states and have been in school until recently in the last ten years making friendships specific to periods of times. I’ve heard different people say different things, like don’t invite anyone you don’t imagine you would talking to five years from now, but I feel like that doesn’t apply to me/help me. For example, I have a friend I was close with for about a year, about two years ago, but we aren’t close now. I don’t know if it would be weird to invite or if she would feel happy to be there because we were close in the past. We never had a falling out- imagine long distance friendships... all the time lol. Same with an old high school friend. I think most people don’t go back that far but one of my two bridesmaids (most likily) will just be my high school best friend because she has been one of my constants throughout the past ten years. As is she is grascious enough to fly in from out of the country and then a few others from out of state (hopefully, we’ll see when the time comes if this remains possible). I have some wiggle room in the guest list and I have plenty of time to decide. Thoughts?

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23 Comments

VIP April 2018
JustKidding · on January 22, 2018 at 4:40 PM
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If we hadn't hung out or really talked to in 6 months, they weren't invited.
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Dedicated May 2019
KMedcalf · on January 22, 2018 at 4:47 PM
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Thank you all for you input -this is very helpful, objective perspective! It seems like the majority say the "one year" rule of thumb and I do think whether I actually know what is going in their life (and vice versa) is completely logical. When I do throw out the "questionable" the party does seem a lot nicer because I naturally won't worry about if they are having a good time because they won't know people. I don't feel offended when I imagine not being invited to their wedding. It's only a few people, so I think I have my answers now!
I will say so far I've done okay at keeping my mouth shut about the guest list, which I've been told (and read) is wise. But, I have told a few out of state friends to see if the trip would be a possibility. When catching up with one friend recently, along with another who I was not planning on inviting, the other brought it up and I was not prepared. She was like, "Just let me know and we'll drive on out!" I was caught off guard and had no clue what to say...so naturally I said that wrong thing... Lesson learned. She was a good friend, just someone I did not keep in touch with in the last year.
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Devoted July 2018
Mrs. Terelo · on January 22, 2018 at 5:05 PM
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Anyone who hasn't met your fiance or you haven't seen/spoken to in the past year gets cut in my opinion.

Most of my friends from past periods of my life, high school, college, early career, have faded out. Only the few I still have consistent contact with are invited to our wedding.
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