Just Said Yes August 2020

How Early is Too Early to send rsvp Reminders?

Kacey, on February 20, 2020 at 3:49 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
Really going back and forth on this one and need some opinions. I sent out invitations at the end of January, it's been only a month, but only 30 people have RSVP'd. Our wedding is in April and I'd really like to know how many guests are coming by end of March so 1. I can figure out a seating plan (venue is smaller than we expected) 2. Can invite those we didn't originally invite if we have fewer guests than we invited RSVP and 3. My mother-in-law can make enough/not too many favors which take about a month to make.

Is two months out too early to send out an RSVP reminder to the 200 that haven't responded?


Latest activity by kymarmck, on February 21, 2020 at 10:22 AM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Usually people don’t bother about rsvp reminders until after the rsvp deadline unfortunately
    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    Wait until 3-5 days after the deadline before reaching out. They may not know yet if they can come and most people use the deadline as a due date and wait until the deadline to send theirs so you will probably get several right before your date. That is when a lot of ours came in. We got a few right away then very few until right before the deadline. We had to chase down maybe 7 people.

    • Reply
  • Kacey
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Kacey ·
    • Flag
    Update on post: I did not set a deadline so they have no idea when I need them by?
    • Reply
  • Chantal
    Expert May 2021
    Chantal ·
    • Flag

    Sadly, it's the curse of the RSVP, my friend. Our wedding is in the end of May and I'm going to be sending out my invites beginning of April and give them until May 1. Everyone has been telling me to wait until the 6-8 weeks before mark and it's been SO HARD TO WAIT when I want those RSVPs as soon as possible! Unfortunately, people don't make commitments that far in advance, and usually don't actually confirm their attendance until it comes closer.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    No need to remind them, that's what the deadline is for. You should reach out 3 or so days after the deadline has passed to accommodate those who sent it out that day.

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Typically you wait a day or 2 after the RSVP deadline to reach out to people who have not RSVP’ed. Since you did not give a deadline, I would wait until the end of March. Most people’s RSVP deadline is 2 weeks before your final headcount is due. Your wedding is not until the 25th, so the end of March should I’ve you plenty of time.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    Since you didn't set a deadline, it makes sense more people haven't responded. I'd reach out 30 days or so before the wedding, any earlier than that will be hard to get answers.

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this. And 30 days is a pretty standard period of time to check in with anyone who hasn't responded and get numbers to your venue/caterer. You should be able to finish up anything you need to do within that timeframe.

    As far as your #2, there are lots of really good reasons (logistically and for politeness) not to do that, so I wouldn't worry about making your timeframe fit that plan.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    Don't bother people until the RSVP deadline. You gave them a deadline. You need to honor that.

    • Reply
  • Emma
    Devoted March 2021
    Emma ·
    • Flag

    I'm in the same boat, I sent out invitations at the end of January and I've gotten less than half back. And the ones I've gotten back so far are the people that I knew were planning on coming anyway... But nonetheless I asked everyone to RSVP by March 1st so as much as I'm struggling with it, I have to be patient and wait it out. If you gave an RSVP deadline, wait until then to send the reminders. If you didn't, I would say March 1 is a reasonable time to start asking because you're going to start getting to that 1 month out point where you need to get final counts anyway.

    • Reply
  • kymarmck
    Super March 2020
    kymarmck ·
    • Flag

    We are going to wait 2 days after the deadline to start contacting outstanding RSVPs! Our RSVPs are due the 24th, so that'll allow them time to get it in the mail ON the 24th and to me by the 26th or 27th!

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