How does everybody feel about Bridal Showers?

They are a nice gesture, I cant wait for mine, not for the gifts but for bonding time with my family and pictures and dressing up.

I only putting things I want on the registry.

I just found out the date of my shower and I am very excited! FH and I have been living together for 6 years and yes, we can always use some upgrades. I didn't want a shower but his family insisted (mine is overseas) and so I agreed. I think that it is totally fine to decline one if you think that there is absolutely nothing you could use on your household, but do not ask for cash. As for the gifts, it is for both of you. I picked out linens we both liked, glassware, tableware, all things that fit both our taste. When you live with someone, if you buy a set of pots and pans both of you will be taking advantage of the new stuff, not you only because you're the one cooking tonight - I think that way of thinking is what is not right. As for being a day about you, I would totally be okay with having a jack and jill but I do love spending time with other women and talking about things that I know will not interest FH. It is a chance to socialize with other people that are close to you and experienced or maybe will experience the same excitement as you during this specific time in your life. I see nothing wrong with some girlfriend time. All in all, do what fits you! Do what fits you as a couple... just ditch the money asking thing, that really comes across as rude.

eta: words

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You are correct. A cash registry is a thing. We're doing it because we've been living together for a while now and don't need stuff. All my friends and family love the idea of a cash fund/registry because it works for me and my FH. No one I've spoken with thinks it's tacky. I've even had recently married friends tell us to ask for cash. They didn't ask for cash because they were told it was tacky and "everyone will know to give cash if you don't have a registry". Not necessarily. These couples received items they would never purchase themselves, will never use or already own. 99% of the people on here will tell you asking for cash is tacky. But, if cash works for you and your FH, then ask for it. Do what YOU want.

I really didn't want a shower either, but my Mom really wants to throw me one. I agreed, so long as it's very small, with only her, my FMIL, my sister and my close friends. It'll be 12 total, including me. Maybe it's not proper etiquette, but I was NOT about to be the center of attention in a room full of 40+ women (My FH has a very big family and I'm not at all close with any of them). I was hoping for a co-ed shower, but it just didn't work out.

If you're hesitant about the shower and don't like being the center of attention, maybe ask your FMIL, aunts and cousins to keep the guest list small. You could suggest a quick cocktail style party and ask that presents not be opened during the shower.

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The assumption that they are only for ME is because it's literally called a BRIDAL shower and all of the showers I have been to in the past are just that. A bunch of women giving kitchen appliances and fancy dishes that no. . .my FH husband won't use or appreciate.

I mentioned in my original post that I realise a co-ed shower is an option, my question was What are some of your favorite non-traditional wedding shower ideas? As neither of us have been to a shower like that and I could use some suggestions.

The intention was never to ask for money, but rather when people insist on getting us something, is it ok to set up a 'go fund me' like account towards something like a down payment for a house or a honeymoon, and point them towards that? From what I have read it is really growing in popularity but I guess not amongst this crowd.

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The purpose of a shower is to do just that: shower a bride (or bride and groom) with gifts.

"is it ok to set up a 'go fund me' like account towards something like a down payment for a house or a honeymoon, and point them towards that?"

No, it is not okay to set up a fund where people bankroll your house or your honeymoon. I am not sure when this started becoming a thing but it needs to stop. Don't register for a gift registry, people will give you cash as wedding gift. Don't direct them towards that. We will get it.

Per your co-ed shower idea: Play games like the shoe game, make up some trivia "Which celebrity has a child named Apple? Named Bear? named Audio?" People can bring gifts for the both of you!

Your husband won't use kitchen appliances? Really?

Previous posts say "No one has told me it's tacky" well it is tacky. Your family won't tell you to your face but it is - they don't want to hurt your feelings. It is like making a right turn at a red light - just because you can doesn't mean you have to,

Most showers I've attended use the couple's registry to buy gifts. In that case, the gifts would be for both of you to use or enjoy in your home. Sometimes I see lingerie showers too (and even went to a sex toy themed one once) and even those are also a gift for him.

It's generally frowned upon to directly ask for money. It's a wedding, not a fundraiser. Even if you register, you'll still likely get money. If you don't register at all, this is more likely the case and if someone gifts you something you don't like, you can always return it at the store.

Well we are doing a co ed wedding shower. At first I had no idea what it even was. And when I learned about it I immediately told my MOH I wanted it co ed. We are going to a buffet, eating some food, and then playing a few games. We will also have a DIY photo booth. We even told guests that gifts arent necessary becuase there isnt much we need. But they are obviously welcome to bring one if they like.

The way I see it, is a way for all our wedding party to finally meet, and we can all celebrate the upcoming day. As a way to unwind and relax and have some fun before the real stress hits.

View Quoted Comment This sounds more like an engagement party and you don’t need to register for that. Some people will probably bring gifts/cards but I wouldn’t expect them, and I definitely wouldn’t have a box - I would just slowly have them gather somewhere lol

Also while your FH may not use the kitchen things you are given, I’m sure he enjoys the food they make! Honestly, my FH is way more excited about kitchen gadgets than me. He is the cook in our house. I think a registry has stuff for the couple even if it’s handed to the bride. I asked FH if he wanted to attend to see the gifts and he said NO, he wants it girls only lol

We're planning on a couple shower. I don't want it to be only me.

I would have a co-ed shower...You could register for things you really want...new bedding, new sheets, drapes, appliances, tools, lawn mower, the list could go on....I understand that you don't want gifts but most people find it rude to ask for money. Good luck

I honestly don't see how telling people if they want to give a gift, money towards such and such a thing is rude, but handing out a list of things I expect to receive isn't. My main goal here was to see how most people feel about it (how my guests will most likely feel) and I definetly got my answer.
We more than likely wont be asking for money.

Has anybody heard of a couple hitting reverse and getting all the men together? They can get all dressed up, play silly games and then I can just show up at the end for presents? Is that COMPLETELY unheard of or have I just never heard of it?