How does everybody feel about Bridal Showers?

If you have stuff already, then don't have a bridal shower, especially if you're uncomfortable with it. Why waste people's money on stuff you don't need?

You can't have a cash registry though, just don't register and people will get the idea.

Haha...I was really against the idea of all women attending a party to shower me with gifts that will make my FH happy (kitchen supplies mostly).

SO - our bridal party is throwing us a couples shower next month. It is beer themed! There will be beer, fun games for both guys and girls, and be more customized to us as a couple, rather than fulfilling patriarchal standards.

If you do decide that you want to do anything girly girl, just have a luncheon or something. But allow the shower to be co-ed! They have couples shower invites and tons of ideas on pinterest. I don't know many details because I'm not planning.

I am not really sure but I think a co-shower (where men and women attend) is becoming more of a thing. But I am actually excited to have a shower. It is just another reason for me and my family, new family and friends to get together! I love being around all my family! Also FH and I have only been living together for a year and a half so we are really kinda just starting out, so we need stuff.

When I was doing the register I had FH help and makes sure that it was stuff that he liked too. I didn't want all this stuff just for me. But I am so excited to get more kitchen stuff. I have found out I love to cook and bake and I do most of the cooking at home. So to get new gadgets and things I am going to make so much stuff!

But really you have to do what is best for you. I think cash is tacky, at least that is what I noticed a lot on here.

We had a couple’s shower exactly for this reason. Two people are marrying each other so it doesn’t make any sense for one partner to be “showered” with gifts and not the other. Not to mention the gifts are for both of us to use, and we both picked them out and registered together, so why would people be giving it to just me? A cash registry is super tacky and innappropriate, are you supposed to just open envelopes of cash at the shower? That seems cringy. If you don’t need “stuff” just decline the shower all together.

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We both really like the idea of getting everybody together before the wedding, especially some members of the wedding party that don't know each other very well. The thought was just that we have like a barbeque or some type of party so celebrate our upcoming wedding without having the focus being on gifts. Maybe we wouldn't even call it a shower, but still have a box for cards? The general consensus seems to be that it's tacky to ask for cash though.

lol

Well, a wedding registry is presumably a list of items that you and your FH have chosen together, so no, the gifts are not for you, specifically, they're for both of you, for your home together.

A cash registry is not an option, and no one will have experience with it because that's not a thing.

If people aren't invited to your shower, they may not give you a gift, but they certainly can if they choose to.

"Do I only get gifts from people who were invited to the shower? Does he not get any gifts? What about all the people who weren't invited?"

The above makes it sound like you really are interested in the gifts. Let's be real here. Shower gifts, other than a lingerie shower, are for the both of you. He will also get to use the new sheets, appliances, etc. An argument could even be made that he would benefit from a lingerie shower.

If you don't need things, don't have a shower. If someone wants to host, tell them you don't need anything and ask if they would be interested in hosting a luncheon, tea, brunch etc instead.

It is never polite to ask for cash. Period.

I informed my bridal party and mother that I would prefer not to have a shower, for many of the same reasons you listed above. My mom was disappointed, but I think my bridal party was a little relieved that it was one less thing for them to worry about.

My FH and I have lived together for six years. There isn't a whole lot we actually need.

View Quoted Comment A cash registry is a thing, there are a lot of 'go fund me' typed websites that are specifically for weddings which is what spurred this question. There are plenty of people who have experience with it, I was hoping to hear from some of them. Thanks for your input though.

My fiance is coming to our shower..along with is Dad, brothers and a few of his friends. Why shouldn't he? They are gifts for both of us.

Cash funds are a bad idea and tacky. Most people will give you cash if you don't create a registry.

They take fees from the gift your guest pays for.

Just dont register, thats what i did and got cash/checks from every guest.

You can do a couples shower so you are with your FH and the focus in on the two of you. You can also ask that no one brings gifts to the shower. My friends just had a couples shower and did this.

I would advise that gifts aren't necessary. My cousin did one where she asked everyone to bring a candle because they love candles! She also used a few at the reception as well. Also, make it a jack and jill bridal shower. That's becoming more common, that's what were doing

You don't get cash for a shower. The whole purpose of a shower is to help set up the marital home (which is for both of you). If you don't need anything, and don't want to register for upgraded items, then simply do not have a shower.

Zola is a good website where you can make cash funds for things like the hotel for your honeymoon, romantic activities during the honeymoon like horseback riding or a nice dinner, date nights like tickets to a football game or something. It feels less tacky because they feel like they are purchasing a gift when you just get money for the activity. For the shower, make a registry at Target or Amazon or something like that. Add stuff you actually want like a wine cooler, a t-rex cookie jar, legos, board games, a big 2 person hammock. Having a registry at a place that sells more than linens and kitchen supplies allows for you to add so much more than the usual registry and allows your guest to get you gifts if that's what they want to do.

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Totally not tacky to decieve your friends and family and trick them into thinking they're treating you to a fun experience when you're really just pocketing cash after the website takes a fee.

Just make a small registry for things that need upgrading (everyone has them) and leave it at that. Everyone knows cash is a good gift, but the point of a shower is to "shower" you with gifts. If you truly don't want gifts, you should decline a shower.

If all you want is cash, don’t have a shower. Showers are for physical gifts. The only shower I’ve ever been invited to where the bride asked for cash had a very high decline rate because we all felt it was horribly rude to ask for cash.

Showers are for physical gifts, not money. It is in very poor taste to ask for money or set up a cash registry. If you don't want gifts, then decline a shower.

Why would household items that you may receive at a shower be only for YOU? Your FH would never use a kitchen appliance, towels, sheets, etc? This makes no sense. They are gifts for both of you.

Many couples have co-ed wedding showers. It is an option if the hosts want to go that route.

View Quoted Comment That wasn't really want I meant. I was just saying people give you money to do things rather than you getting physical things. We will be putting the money towards whatever the gift is, it just made more sense for us since we also have too much stuff and don't want to take on more, similar to this person.

View Quoted Comment What Pannabar meant was it is not an option because it’s extremely rude to ask for money.