How do you treat your in laws?

My future in-laws are like my friends & my second parents My FH is very close with his family so we do a lot together. We have family fun nights, we camp together, we vacation together, we go out to eat, bars, parties. We do have a line that we don’t cross but that’s because we still have to respect them for the elders that they are.

I definitely do not hang out with them alone without my husband but i treat them like family. i am fortunate to have in laws that are very loving. my parents are very loving to my husband as well and always say that they love us and see him as their own. however initially i didn't have much of a relationship with my in laws but i think that's attributed just to the idea that we didn't know each other much yet. it was something over time we built.

I treat them as family! They treat and accept me like family!

They're family. I've hung out with my mother in law without my husband. I don't call them mom or dad though. We've gone on vacation together and we hang out as a family pretty regularly.

I treat them as family and like my second set of parents. We see FH parents quite a bit more than mine as we're just a few minutes from them and he has a closer relationship with his parents than I do with mine. I've hung out with his mom alone a few times especially if he and his dad are busy doing something.

They’re family. My FH isn’t as close with his family as I am with mine so I always have to nudge him to give them a call or set up a dinner. But I love them. At least his mom and step dad. His dad and stepmom live in a different state so we don’t see them much. And while I enjoy seeing them, the step mom is a little out there.

They are definitely family to me. I have been hanging out with them without my fiancé more just because of the wedding and I’d like to get closer to my future moms and sis in law. There are some people I am just cordial with but it depends because he has ALOT ALOT of family

They’re family to me and I think in my case it’s extremely important to have a great relationship with them because my parents/family live in another country so they’re basically all I have in the US. I always go shopping with his mom and his younger sister, I love his siblings and honestly sometimes I talk more to his mom than I talk to him 🤣

My FIL and I started with an armed opposition from him. He is very opinionated and judgemental about some things. Like, he carries on loudly about how awful it is when wives and mother work. His wife never had to work. Of course he does not mention that his wife learned English, took night college classes in accounting, and for over 40 years was the bookkeeper for his and 3 of his brothers businesses. Well, she did it at home. And, she raised his two kids ( mother died), and while they had 2 plus their own five, adopted six of his brother's kids after their parents were killed. But aside from dooing bookkeeping 30-40 hours a week at home, and raising 13 kids all born in a 12 year span, she never worked in her life , he made that family. I am opinionated on the other side. But feel no need to attack anyone in their home, at a meal or family gathering. MOL is a peach, I love her. But kids changed everything. And time. He went from " I don't even know what you are , never mind if we are going to let you Marry our SON T, shouted out at our first meeting, with 22 other people at the table. Yeah, and it is nice to meet you too. Then Their son just had to give him a little tweak. His father was going on about me changing my ways, be a good Mrs. T, when now hubby said, she isn't taking our name. She has one, and she is keeping it. And it is probable we will give the kids her last name. Well, that did it. He screamed and he carried on. And finally said, well, she can have the girls, they don't count anyway . I am good at smiling sweetly and holding my temper, but don't back down. Truly, I think he was bewildered, that his son was marrying someone 4-6 hours drive away, and not staying close to a family that all dined together 3times a month. At that point, only T had ever even been to Boston. Others , all born and living in Brooklyn, or less than a half hour away. He never knew anyone of my ethnic background, we are different races, religions, educational background. And now, since children and their retirement they come for 2-3 week visits 4-5 time a year. Stay some with my parents in the next town, some with us . And three of hubby's younger siblings moved up here to N NH and Vermont, and had their huge weddings at our place or my parents. I get on with half my SIL, but have as much in common as a turtle and an airplane. The other half, I dislike as much as they dislike me. I Like all his 7 brothers. Hubby gets on with my family, parents and 8 sibs and spouses. . We never talk politics. My reason for being on the boards these days, is that two nieces and a nephew of hubby's are getting married next year, and a niece and nephew of mine are at school and marrying next summer. And 3 of the 5 weddings will be at our farm. We are doing the food for 2. The third, caterers. I will do 150-200. But 250-325, is out of my league .
But all are nearer to us than their parents And I will gown shop with 2, and make the bridal gown for my niece. My workshop is planning central for them. And I am getting a kick out of excited in-laws, as much as my own family. Next year, January to October, 5 weddings . Yow.

I’m close to my in laws as much as my FH is. There was one year where FH and I were long distance, and I still hung out with his mom while he was away in another country. Unfortunately his mom lives in another state now as she remarried, but we still talk as if they’re still in the same state. I’m really happy we get along really well, makes getting married so much easier lol

I've been close to MIL for a long time, and now FIL and I are getting a lot closer.

Honestly, MIL treats me like her second daughter, and I really appreciate that, because I had to cut my own mother out of my life. (Before this whole mess, we had a fun shopping trip, just the two of us.)

But, we also live SUPER close to them (... well, not with the social distancing, but you know what I mean), so we usually spend a lot of time with them. They are also Italian-American, and kind of live up to the stereotypes of huge holiday dinners, wanting to talk with DH all the time (...we facetimed as a whole family on Sunday, and then on Tuesday, MIL responded to a DH text with, "you could *call your poor lonely mother*").

I was a little worried at first - I'm an only child, and my dad lives far away (though we talk constantly), so the BIG events were like... woah.

But... we're family, now. I get loved and scolded and teased and embraced and worried over.

It's really wonderful, honestly.

And I miss eating their dinners, right now. They are such good cooks.

View Quoted Comment My MIL is a sterotypical Italian mother, too. And did the best 2 things for us as we planned our wedding. Every time anyone in her family, mostly FI sisters, and brothers wives, would start pushing their opinions, she would speak up and say, excuse me, excuse me, but is it your wedding? No. It is their wedding. They know what they want or they ask you. So be quiet. And second, she had a big Sunday dinner right after invitations went out. And apparently told everyone to bring their coming or not coming cards, or she would send over one of the teens to get them. And exactly 7 days after I mailed invitations, I got a FedEx from Brooklyn. Every family RSVP. In ziplock one, yes. Two, no three, they cannot tell you til work approves, their baby is due 2 weeks before, or someone is coming and someone not. Gotta love her.

I would say that we're on friendly terms. I haven't hung out with them without FH, but I wouldn't be opposed to it if the situation arose. They're lovely people.

I'd say it's a mixture of cordial/family, especially with his mom, dad, and stepmom. But I'm kinda cordial with my own parents (that's because of our upbringing, like we're not lovey dovey or anything), so I guess that is normal for me. My fiance also has 6 half sisters, and one of them, I really haven't even seen in 3 years. I've only hung out with one of his sisters by ourselves without him.

I treat my future in-laws as family. I've spent time with my FMIL as in we go shopping. I struggle with spending all of our free time with them because my family is on the other side of the country. My mom is my best friend ❤️ so I struggle with how much time I want to spend with his family.


Plus his mom is manipulative in an ever so slightly way. She will tell my FH how his brother has a problem with certain choices we make, yet when my FH calls his brother he says no I never said that to mom.
She meddles in everything and it only damages our relationship because she'll go around me to him regarding wedding stuff and basically everything else. My FH directs her back to me even though she had just called me for an answer then she will call him to confirm I told her the correct information. SMH!

View Quoted Comment Oh, wow, that was amazing of her.


My ILs offered to host the rehearsal dinner, at their apartment, which was... honestly, exactly what I had hoped for! They cooked, they accommodated our vegan and gluten-free guests/family...It was a tight fit, but perfect!
MIL also hasn't had contact with her mother in decades, so she understands my issues.

We're cordial. His family lives in Costa Rica so even though we've been together over 9 years, I've only met them a handful of times and there's some tension.

Depends, but I'd say it's whatever comes naturally!

There are members of my own family that I would never hang out with apart from family gatherings, we don't really have anything in common or much of a relationship. Whereas there are members of his family that I absolutely adore, and I feel right at home with them. It's on a case by case basis. But yes, there are certainly members of his family I would hang out with without him, many of them I treat as my own family. Others just friends. And others still are simply cordial.

If they've been welcoming towards you there's no reason not to get to know them. Then again you may need to take the first step, as they themselves might be unsure of how to treat you.