How do you politely turn down a bridesmaid?

When you are officially engaged you have to actually ask people to be your bridesmaid. So I don't think you have to "turn her down", you just don't ask her to be a bridesmaid and if she asks "am I one?" you just say politely that you've already selected your bridal party.

You have easily four to five month until you ask your bridesmaids. I just would let her comment whither over the next couple of months. Don't bring it up and don't encourage her if she brings it up again.

Please don't ask someone you don't want in your wedding. Too often there are posts about obligatory BMs who just hate being apart of the wedding.

No you are not picking sides. Those two have beef not you. If you like this chick then she can be part of your wedding.

I don't think I really gave her a solid yes. If I'm being honest I had a drink or two and it was kinda just a "sure whatever" but I never said "yes you can be my bridesmaid". We don't really talk now but she has told me she wants to get closer which I'm all for I just don't necessarily want her in my bridal party. I mean I'll suck it up if that's the right thing to do but the family drama is real guys. I mean now the sister isn't talking to anyone who even went to the wedding and we're hoping to mend that relationship before our wedding. I'm afraid this would cause more of a divide between my fiance and his sister. But also the bride will be my sister in law so I don't want to cause drama with her. Ahh I just don't like conflict.

You wrote, "I said yeah sure". She asked, you answered in the affirmative, and now she's expecting to be a BM, based on your word. You have two choices: either honor your word or come up with an excuse that will likely lead to drama.

Put her at the end of the line of the processional. She already thinks she has a place there because you already said yes. I guess you could retract your answer, but there will be a price to pay, and it will probably go on and on and on. If you're a bride who believes that the bridal party needs only to buy a dress and show up on the wedding day, then I don't see the problem.

Anyway, it's your choice, but honestly, I think a lot of bridal party angst is completely avoidable.

Tough situation as you already told her yes, she could be a bridesmaid. (Can't believe she asked, but some people have such nerve)

When it comes up, as I'm sure it will, just say "you caught me off guard with your question but the answer to it is no, I'm sorry," and then give whatever reason you think she'll accept. You could be honest with her about the family dynamics if you choose, or you could say your closest friends will take up the full BP, or some such thing.

Good luck with it!