How do you NOT INVITE some of your family?

Just don't send them an invite. If they ask say you were keeping it to local guests and the venue can only accommodate a certain amount.

Are they the only aunt and cousins you would be excluding? That could be extremely hurtful, so just keep that in mind if you decide to go that route. If you do, just don't send them an invitation and they'll hopefully get it. If they ask about their lack of invitation, I don't know if you can say it's all local guests though if the rest of your extended family is all invited and they're OOT.

Honestly if you're having a large wedding you will probably hardly notice them anyway unless they're prone to causing major scenes.

Our dream venue had a maximum of 100. We didn't invite an uncle, from each side. I don't think my in laws communicate, with the uncle on hubby's side. My parents don't even have the address of my uncle; my father exchanges a happy birthday e-mail with him, once a year, and that's it.

As soon as my aunt/uncle realized they didn't get a save the date, they started fishing for an invitation. I blocked the aunt, on Facebook. They sent my parents their 1st Xmas card, in 10 years. It got pretty pathetic. The week that RSVPs were due, my grandmother sent me two nasty e-mails, demanding I invite my uncle's family. His kids wouldn't have been invited, regardless. I ignored her. She came to the wedding, but had a sourpuss all night and left early. It permanently damaged my relationship with her, but I don't care anymore. All because she was trying to force a relationship and she thinks weddings are family reunions.

I just didn't invite them. They are assholes all the time, so me not inviting them didn't really change their behavior.

Ultimatley you have to come up with a way to justify not inviting them or just suck it up. I'm not inviting one of my FH aunts because she is fighting with FMIL and her other sister and won't talk to them. And to top it off, she is the mother of our officiant. We are just going to explain to him that because of the family drama we aren't inviting her and he will understand.

I'm excluding a few family members...luckily for me they've isolated themselves from the family so I'm not even sure they'll realize they're not invited. Like the other girls said...just don't send them an invitation. If by chance they do find out and confront you (I feel like most people wouldn't) just say you're restricted to a certain # of guests...you're keeping it tiny...@CatsBoninCats nailed it...if they're already assholes they're not going to change!

My mom had to break the news to her older sister that she wouldn't be invited--although I'm hoping she would have figured it out when it got closer to summer and she didn't have an invite. like you, I don't have a bad relationship with her it is just that she didn't make the guest list. Justin's own mother won't be well enough to come so knowing that we kept family to immediate family (and my two 90 year old grandmothers only). will probably get mixed reviews on here whether you should tell them outright or let them figure it out when they don't get an invite. I'm a vote in the ripping the bandaid off theory---but every relationship is different.

Just don't send them an invite. We didn't invite my parents due to the toxic nature of our relationship. I was just honest when people asked.

We went through this too. My husband has a cousin who pulled some really shady stuff on him when his (my husband's) mother died so he didn't want to invite her. We also didn't invite 2 of my sisters. My other sister and I refer to them as "Crazy" and "Mean". Crazy was at my sister's wedding and caused all kinds of drama: my grandmother had to pay for them to attend, they dressed completely inappropriately, gave her teen alcohol, I had to taxi them all over the place etc.. It was awful and stressful. I chose not to go down that road. I didn't want my grandmother having to foot the bill for my Crazy sister to come and I didn't want anyone having to do everything for them, of have them create stress. Mean was also not invited to my sister's wedding- we call her Mean for a reason.

I didn't invite either of my sisters. At first my parents wanted me to invite them but after we talked about it they agreed that I didn't need to.

His cousin was fishing for an invitation a little bit, asking when the big day was etc.. but we actually only invited the cousins that he is close to anyway. I never heard from my sisters but after the fact, my niece was saying that they "had saved up money and had air miles and were planning to come". Right, my grandmother's been supporting you for the last 6 years and you don't go anywhere or have a credit card to get air miles...Just reinforced that I made the right choice. The wedding was perfect and drama free.

Yeah- I will have some other out of town folks (not their side of the family) there...and it isn't even the fact that we don't want them at the wedding...it is that they always bring drama, no cash to stay anywhere except crashing on my mom's couch...no money to do anything or rent a car...but complain that they are bored...fighting among themselves while guests at my mom's house. I have no problem telling them myself...just wondered if anyone had similar exp- thanks for sharing everyone.

My dad has a brother than no one in the family talks to (except his other brother). I'm not inviting him, his wife and his adult children along with their families.

I never had a relationship with them and I haven't seen them in 15 years probably. if I invited them it would cost me an extra $1,100 at least and I honestly wouldn't care if they showed up.

my general rule for invites- if they called you today and asked if you're free for dinner tomorrow, would you even hesitate to say yes? if so, don't invite them because they probably aren't a big enough part of your life in the first place.

It's your wedding, if you're fine with them being upset then get on with it. If you don't like the thought of them being hurt then invite them.

Yep we are literally inviting everyone in my family besides my dad's brother, his wife, and their daughter. I figured why bother? My "aunt" doesn't want to act like a member of our family and she didn't even have the decency to RSVP to my cousin's bridal shower or wedding last year. Didn't acknowledge the wedding at all. Sending them an invitation would just be a waste of postage. So if for some reason my "aunt" questions not being invited I will just tell her the truth. Don't feel like you have to invite anyone just because they are family.

I am glad that there are others having similar issues. I also started thinking about the fact that neither one of my cousins invited my mom or us to their weddings...so really why expect an invite to mine? We are keeping it pretty small- my HTB isn't inviting any of his aunts/ uncles because they are crazy...he never speaks to them so it isn't an issue. I really only speak to my Aunt because of my Mom and I already told my Mom they weren't going to be invited. She didn't love the idea, but we are paying for everything so she didn't say anything else. I explained my reasons and she understood and I think was a little relieved. If my aunt would ask, I will simply tell her that it would be too much...if I can't include all of them (her children and their spouses) then I am not including any of them.

I'm not inviting any of my cousins or any kids, mainly because we agreed to 100 guests total and between aunts/uncles and their spouses my 50 spots filled up too fast. Oh a big one for us is we're not inviting FH's sister. Once his mom finds out im sure there will be a problem but it is what it is. She is the most manipulative, psycho, horrible person i have ever met, who not only tried to ruin our baby shower and blackmail her husband, she also has yet to congratulate FH on our 2 month old baby. I say do what u have to do

My parents recommended I either invite all cousins or absolutely no cousins so there are no hurt feelings. So I'm not inviting any cousins at all because there were a lot that I preferred not to invite. Unfortunately if that is the only close relative you're excluding they might feel hurt.

I'm inviting all the family, but crossing my fingers SO HARD that one aunt doesn't come - she's my godmother and has been good to me, but is hypercritical or deliberately rude toward my youngest sister, who is disabled. For instance, she send everyone in the family Christmas ornaments, including my fiance. But none for youngest sister. My mother is at the end of her rope trying to keep my sister from realizing our aunt is so hurtful and mean-spirited toward her.

We are not inviting all of my aunts and uncles (not close with some) and not inviting FH's father (for many reasons) or any of his aunts and uncles (to keep the wedding small, we like them just fine but it was FH's decision, for better or worse lol).

If someone throws a fit, just politely tell them THAT is the reason they weren't invited--because they clearly aren't mannered enough for an invitation. As someone else mentioned above, a wedding is not a family reunion. Invite only the people you actually want to see and make sure your "feels like I have to invite them" list can be counted on one hand if you really must include them.

We had the same issue @FutureMrsC. The uncle/aunt I was talking about didn't RSVP to my sisters wedding, didn't even send a congratulatory e-mail; acted like it never occurred. When my cousin married the month before us, we sent an e-mail to him saying we didn't want to sit at the same table as the uncle/aunt. He replied that he totally understood; one aunt/uncle on his father's side ignored the invitation to his sister's wedding, a few years before, so they weren't wasting an invitation on her, either. I don't know why they were so pushy about getting an invitation to my wedding - so they could ignore it? Another slap in my family's face? Nope!

There are members of my family that I am not inviting. I haven't talked to many of them in YEARS and we just don't get along. I am pretty sure I have not been invited to some of their kids weddings so I don't feel as bad. Bottom line- it is your special day! It is good to eliminate anything or anyone that may have a negative impact on your big day. I would try to choose the lesser of two evils: not inviting them and possibly hurting their feelings, or dealing with the stress that inviting them would cause. You could always tell them that you were trying to keep it smaller with close friends and family due to your budget or the number of people your venue is allowing you to have.