How do you incorporate deceased parents in wedding?

Charlene, my condolences on the passing of your FH's parents. Beyond naming them on your formal invitations, you want to include your divorced parents. Easy...no worries. Frankly, I think it's a very nice gesture:

"Charlene Marie Smith,

daughter of Dr. James Smith

and

Mrs. Natalie Smith Robinson,

and

Mark Lucas Jones,

son the late Mr. Mark Jones, Sr.

and

the late Mrs. Sarah Jones,

request the honor of your company,

etc., etc., etc.

I think how pp worded it is good. I am sorry for his loss. I am including my mom (who died in august) by doing a small memory table with pics and this sign I got from oriental trading

As for how to honor deceased love ones -- especially parents -- at a wedding? Well, remember, emotions will be on steroids that day. Tears are going to be flowing everywhere, so it's best to remember that there are plenty of guests (beyond your husband) who will be very aware of the absence of his parents on that day.

I've seen very heavy handed memorial tables requested -- so heavy handed, that I didn't want to do them, but I had to. I would not put photos on empty seats. I would have a memory table -- and, believe it or not, that table could make people feel more joy than sadness (which, after all, is what his parents would want on his wedding day). Do you have a picture of your late MIL in which she was posing and looking amazing at the apex of her youth? Put it in a frame and display it. Do the same thing when it comes to your late FIL -- a photo where's he's cooking, fishing, admiring a car -- whatever -- something that shows him smiling from ear to ear.

I attended a memorial service after my BFF lost her mother last year. We actually had a great time looking at her memorial table. She took the time to chose pictures showing her mom all decked out in her 1969 attire, feeling confident and ready to have a great time. It's their lives you want to call attention to, not their deaths. A framed wedding photo is also a great addition to a memory table. Typically, there's a lighted candle and a long stemmed rose on the table. That's all you need.

Amandaw...my most sincere condolences. I'm so sorry. What a bittersweet time this must be for you.

I know you didn't ask, but if you'd like to have something of your mom's (to hold onto) while you walk the aisle -- talk to your florist. Sections of her wedding gown/veil, or any particular dress she loved, can be added to your bouquet handle, as can a locket with her pic, a piece of her jewelry, etc. You'd be surprised by how many brides told us that really comforted them.

Hello im sorry for your loss Amandaw and Charlene and im also going through the same thing but its my cousin who passed away on the 4th I was going invite her to my wedding but now she gone from her family to soon she left behind 2 children and now granddaughter it hurts real bad to loss an love one so soon sad

We decided not to do anything big like a table / chair / etc.

For my grandmother, I wore a piece of her dress sewn into mine. I also had brooches of hers that I used in my bouquet.

For other people, like my grandfather and dear friend, I didn't have anything that I could easily incorporate, so I took a moment before the day started to hold them in my memory.

I think my mom and aunt would have been too emotional to see empty chairs representing their parents, just as I would be if I was to look out and see an empty chair in remembrance of my own parents.

In our wedding program, we put a note about remembering people who could not be there.

For my sister's wedding, our father is deceased and her husband's parents are deceased. So during the ceremony, when walking down the aisle, his sisters brought in a candle that had a picture of his parents and my mom brought in a candle that had a picture of our dad. They would hand them the candle and the couple would walk to the center table that they had in front, one on each side. There they would light the candle and walk to the center and light the one candle that was there. Something like unifying our families. I thought it was very nice thought

To remember my grandfather I walked down to a song that I would feel like he was there with me and my dad as we walked down the aisle. And even just hearing that brought some tears at the end of the walk down. If I had seen empty seats I think I would have felt even more sad. I wanted to choose subtle touches for the ceremony because we went to a wedding before ours that had a moment of silence and that was even too sad for me. We did do a memory table with flowers, candles and a sign though and I liked how that turned out.

@Amandaw I like that idea as well w/the sign.

@Jennifer VR I wasn't thinking of having a program but that is a good idea to place a note about those we loss. Thx

I want all of you for your condolences and ideas. I decided to place their photos on a memory table as suggested. Rachel, thanks for the suggestion. Thanks!

I asked on a previous post about deceased parents and was told not to put it on the invitation because it was supposed to be about hosting the wedding and, well, it was pretty brash what they said after but you get the implication.

As for honoring them, my FH lost a baby boy that not too many people know about and I wanted to honor him (along with other deceased family). Found an Pinterest thing of having tiny pictures (locket size) and placed as charms on the bouquet. I got emotional when I saw it because it wouldn't warrant any unwanted questions for those who don't know.

First, I am so sorry for everyone's loss. I like PP suggestions of a framed photo somewhere at the reception. We recently went to a wedding where the groom's brother had passed away. They placed a boutonnière on the alter. It was very sweet.

Can I add a question to this?

FH's mom passed away when he was a senior in high school. Recently FH decided he wants to do something for the mother son dance (instead of just skipping it) but he isn't sure what. He has no siblings and isn't close to any aunts. He asked his dad to dance with him but his dad said no. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks!

@Andie What about your mom?

I had a friend have a tiny picture on her bouquet of her deceased father where the flowers were wrapped. It was simple but it was her way of having him still walk her down the aisle.

I'm a cry baby, happy tears, sad tears, and laughing tears. If I put up a memorial table every time I glanced at it I would cry, so we're not doing one. I like the idea of the small pictures on the bouquet though.

Both of my FH's parent are deceased as well. I ended up getting him a pin for his jacket that has a picture of his parents from their wedding day. I'm giving him this gift at our rehearsal dinner. We are also having our DJ announce our parents, we will say something special about his. Lastly on our wedding invites we put our names and our families instead of listing parents names. My parents are also divorced. Kinda the same situation as you. Good luck!

@Malei: I have a very strained relationship with my mother which has caused some tension because FH and my mom. He promised he'd dance with her at some point during the reception but he doesn't want his dad to feel like he is replacing his own mother.

A display with a candle and a pic on a discreetly placed table would be my suggestion. The day is about you and your husband , not a memorial service. I truly believe deceased loved ones can look down and smile. Your stationery store or online invitation people can guide you as to the correct wording on the invite. Hopefully the divorced parents will act nicely at the wedding. It's a 50-50 deal in my family.

My mom is deceased. We decided against any sort of memorial at the wedding, because I want it to be a happy occasion and anything too much would make me sad.

My officiant will mention her, briefly, near the beginning of the ceremony, and then I'll be wearing her wedding ring. We're also putting a picture of my parents at their wedding (along with other family wedding photos) on a table at the reception.