How do you handle difficult wedding vendors?

You need to make a call to her boss, probably the General Manager and state your case. If she isn't acting professionally in her job then you need to go over her head.

Check the timeframe for when the security deposit will be returned, since the wedding was 7 days ago they may have more time to return the deposit. Since you, & not your coordinator signed the venue's contract, I'd suggest you send a certified letter requesting the refund, and stating your issues. "Managing Partner" - is she a part- owner of the business? If the refund is not returned, and/or you don't hear back it a letter from a lawyer may be in order.

What did she change? Is that something stated in your contract? Also, what did she say in the email?

About 3 weeks out, she changed the Rehearsal date. At first, she emailed me and said I had to move it to either Thur, 12/1, or have it the morning of our wedding, 12/3. We went back and forth asking her for a compromise since our Wedding Party had already booked their flights. She eventually offered a time on the Friday. On 12/1, she changed when we could have access to the venue. The stuff that she changed was in the contract, had been agreed to via email and even in direct verbal communications. I was actually on site the morning of 12/1 and confirmed with the Event Mgr assisgned to our event and he verbally confirmed to the time. I tried to attach the email to this post but it looks like the boards only accept pics. I can email you directly Mrs. S if it would help.

Cynthia's husband, I do not have his name, owns the place along with Reginal Hudspeth. I sent a communication directly to Mr. Hudspet but he has not responded.

Did she give reason to why the rehearsal was changed? If they booked another event then it would take priority over your rehearsal.

Yes, she booked another event. That was explained in the email. And, we'd waited to confirm the date until close to the wedding for that very reason. When we did confirm, she said the date was ours & we could move forward. Even so, I understand a paying event is a priority. My issue with that change was in how she handled it - she sent an email at 8 pm one night rather than giving me a call. I had an existing planning meeting to select linens scheduled for the next morning. Am I nuts to think a professional handling of a change like that warranted a phone call or better yet a face-to-face discussion the next day? At first, she didn't offer any time on Friday. During my planning session, I asked if the entire facility would be in use on that Friday. Because we'd only need access to the Ceremony Room (it's set apart) and not the run of the place. With that, is that room available any part of the day? My Event Manager said that they "had not bothered to check that option".

Once they did, she came back and let us have it at 11 am instead of the 6 PM that she'd originally scheduled. Fast forward to the Thursday before our wedding. In another late night email (this one sent at 11 PM), she was giving us instructions about dropping off the alcohol. As a dropoff option, she tells us that we can have access to the Ceremony Room at...6 PM. This was the very hour that was pulled from us a few weeks prior to accommodate the other party. Now suddenly it was available...while the party was going on.

Since it was at 8pm it makes sense that it was an email rather than a phone call since it was late. And if you had been communicating primarily via email through the whole process then email is reasonable. I think you should just let it go, it's just a rehearsal. Did your wedding day go smoothly? Was everything set for the ceremony? Don't let the rehearsal put a dark cloud on the wedding. It isn't worth it.

And as far as the security deposit is concerned, be patient. How was the deposit paid? check/credit card? Was it ever cashed/cleared? or were they just holding funds?

At that point, she was not primary contact, I had been assigned an Event Manager. He and I talked regularly over both phone and email. You're right, if it were just the rehearsal, it was no big deal. My last responses focused on the rehearsal only because the previous poster asked about why she made that specific changed. She also changed when we could have access to the venue. She cut it back 30 minutes the Thursday before the wedding. This affected all of our vendors and our setup. This also shortened the amount of time that we had to take pictures beforehand.

The whole situation, her cursing at me, calling me names, and making these changes generated a great deal of unnecessary stress that weekend. The deposit was paid with a check that was cashed the week before the weddiing.

I think you have to decide what actually went wrong here and try do deal with it unemotionally, as difficult as that might be. Then write a calm letter detailing what your issues are, and what you expect. Find out (based on your contract) when your deposit is due to be returned (I can tell you that as a caterer, we had to put down lots of security deposits, and usually, the return deadline was between three weeks and a month later....) and request that it be done.

Agree with Celia, but you definitely need to go over her head. maybe CC her and give her a letter, but mostly to her superior. That is all unacceptable. I'd throw a fit.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I agree with Celia. Go to her supervisor and present them with the e-mails as well.