How do you handle controlling family members at your wedding?

Hire vendors who know how to handle such people professionally and firmly.
For example, your photographer needs to be comfortable calling the shots when getting people in and out of photos. Your DJ needs to keep the mic out of reach. Your planner should not be a pushover. Give your vendors a heads up (just the ones who will be interacting with guests).

During the planning process, don't share any details. I've had such asinine expectations and suggestions thrown at me, I started treating my wedding planning like a state secret around certain people. Just keep it vague, respond "We got it under control," "We want it to be a surprise."

Good luck!

Sorry this is your experience. As you mentioned, we all have that “one” or two and three. Haha. I’d keep everything limited. For instance, don’t share too many details or give people the room to offer an opinion. Sometimes, my mom can go overboard with her motherly advice. So, I’ll just say, “Yes, we picked the venue and we loved it,” then move on to the next topic. Additionally, on the day of, it’s really hard to steal the shine away from the bride and groom. However, some control tips is:
Tell the Dj/MC etc. who’s allowed to get on the mic.
Tell your assistant, planner, MOH the run of the show, who’s supposed to be where and what to do should someone try to go around those plans.
If someone is a drunk or wild drinker... ask the bartender to monitor or water down that person’s drinks.

My rule of thumb: if you have expectations about behavior, don’t wait till it happens. Have the solution in place and in motion before it has a chance to happen.

I hope this helps.

I have two family members that always need to be the center of attention so prior to my wedding I sat down with both of them and flat out told them if they started that crap on MY wedding day they would be asked to leave. They both stayed on the background and didn’t do anything. As far as people trying to control things I stopped telling people anything. I didn’t want everyone’s opinion. Keep them at a distance!

My family members are passive aggressively the center of attention if that makes sense lol. It’s really like walking on eggshells and we have to make sure to give them all equal attention. One of my aunts went on this huge rant to my sister about how they didn’t get a photo together at my sisters wedding (three years after her wedding lol). For my wedding I haven’t had issue yet but it’s early. My one aunt did send a picture of the dress she picked to wear and it was the same color as mine. She looked like a bride lol. I am also passive aggressive so I had my mom handle it and tbh she usually has to because she’s the only one that can do it without starting drama.

View Quoted Comment

Yes, I have had to do the same. Certain people are left in the dark. We actually planned our wedding for 6 months before we told anyone. Than when we broke the news, the comments came rolling in. smh

View Quoted Comment

Thank you so much! I love your last sentence. Makes since. I will definitely do that.

View Quoted Comment

I do think I am going to have to have the sit down with them. It's just figuring out when and how to word everything lol. Again these are the over dramatic people as well so things have to be said gently. smh

View Quoted Comment

Yes, my family is passive aggressive too. My fiance is more of the aggressive type so he doesn't understand my family lol. I have asked my mom to talk to my aunt too but she refuses because of how my aunt loves to be overly dramatic as well. That same aunt also has been sending me pictures of dresses she plans to wear. They all are so revealing as if we are on the beach in 100 degree weather but my wedding is in the winter time at an elegant hotel. Ugh

View Quoted Comment Haha don’t you love aunts? Maybe since your fiancé is more upfront he can say something? My sisters husband had to say something last time because of the same dynamic and it really got through to her

This is totally my mother! Seriously. I know she is going to try to live through my day because she didn’t get the wedding she always wanted. And she’s just tried to control my entire life period. Always giving opinions - negative ones more than anything, when no one even asked her. In fact we haven’t even told my parents we are planning to get married yet because I already know they’ll have something to say as always. Wishing you luck!

View Quoted Comment Yes you are right. I may have to get him to say something for me. He has done it in the past with other family members and some how it doesn’t start drama. It’s like my family is scared of him lol.

View Quoted Comment Yes my mom is a negative Nancy too. I don’t get it.

View Quoted Comment Sadly I sometimes think it’s jealousy =\

With these types of family members, it's just really disheartening and a lot of the time, they think they're helping us, when they're doing the exact opposite. The only person behaving this way for me is FH's oldest aunt. She is super toxic. She's uninvited herself to the wedding because we aren't telling FMIL she can't come to the wedding. Crazy, huh? It's just ridiculous. So we gave her back the "gift" she gave to us and wiped our hands clean of her nonsense. She was trying to use her money as a weapon; a means to control and manipulate us to do her bidding. We don't need that sort of toxicity in our lives. After we sent the money back, she said if FH starts treating her like the good aunt she is, she'll consider going to our wedding. FH and I just looked at each other like what?? You don't get to decide whether or not you can come to our wedding at this stage. You've uninvited yourself. That's that. And we will do everything in our power to ensure she is not in attendance. One of the best things to do is to stop involving certain folks in your wedding planning, you know? Keep details a secret, or at least be very vague. Family will always have something to say, unfortunately. Some fail to understand (or to care) that we're the ones getting married, not them. Of course, there are some family who are just overly excited and putting their two cents into everything. However, there are some who have ill intentions, are jealous and want to hijack the wedding. Just stand your ground, keep details vague. Have the wedding you and your partner want to have. Not the one your mom, grandma, aunt etc wish for you. If they are paying for your wedding, it's more difficult to stop them from making important decisions. In that case, you may want to reject financial help and fund the wedding yourselves. It may be a bit harder but at least you know all decisions are based on what you and your fiance desires. I am wishing you the best!!!

View Quoted Comment You could be right.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this! I would just try and keep the information about the wedding to yourself. try not to involve them too much in planning anything (maybe ask them to pick up some stuff for you or run errands). on the big day i agree with PP. Definitely inform your vendors. ESPECIALLY your coordinator. they should be able to keep them at bay. best of luck!

I agree with Brandi and most of the other ladies. Keep information limited to them. Or keep them busy doing something else. Also, you can stay so occupied with other guests that you don't even let them come your way.