Lisa
Rockstar July 2022

How Do You Determine How Much To Spend On Wedding Party Thank You Gifts?

Lisa, on April 9, 2021 at 11:07 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 39
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I've never really thought about if there is a general "rule" to follow when buying wedding party thank you gifts, so I'm just curious on everyone's thoughts on this topic! I also realize that finances are totally different for everyone and everyone spends a different amount. But, is there a known "rule" to help determine what is reasonable to spend on wedding party gifts? Should their gifts each total approximately what the bridesmaids spend on their dresses/etc? Or should the thank you gifts add up to around a certain percentage of the total wedding budget? Or is it really just "spend what you feel is right"? How did you determine how much to spend on wedding party gifts?

39 Comments

Latest activity by Ivory, on April 13, 2021 at 10:50 PM
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I had heard on WW and elsewhere that it should be in the $100-150 range. When I told this to my circle, they all balked and told me to absolutely not spend that. My girls' are expecting a gift at around $50 probably, and that's what I'm leaning towards now. I don't want my gift to be seen as over the top when it isn't what my circle does
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I do agree that it also seems to be dependent on the area/culture! I had thought that the $40-$60 range was appropriate, but also wondered if I was spending too much or too little.
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    This is an interesting question, which I’ve never seen before. I have never heard of the price of the gift correlating with the amount of money the bridesmaids had to spend, but that does make sense to a degree! If you are requiring your bridesmaids spend $300+ on a dress, it kinda makes sense that your thank you to them would be greater since your demands of them were greater. Also, should the extravagance of the gift correlate to the extravagance of the wedding? In other words, should someone hosting a six-figure black tie wedding gift their wedding parties more extravagant gifts then those hosting an informal backyard wedding?
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I've never actually seen this question before either, so I figured I'd ask it because I'm genuinely curious! I agree that if the bridesmaids were asked to invest more financially, it would make sense to spend a little more on their gifts. It's also an interesting question you bring up about whether the extravagance of the gifts should match the extravagance of the wedding - I'm definitely interested in hearing what everyone's opinions are on that!
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  • Heather
    Devoted November 2021
    Heather ·
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    Honestly, it could be however much you want! The fact that you even gifted them something will still make their day because you thought of them. However.. be considerate on the thought of the gift because if you are asking your girls to spend a lot on their stuff then it would be courteous to thank them with a beautiful gift that kind of goes off of what they spent. Hopefully that makes sense lol!

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    Totally makes sense! I agree that the amount spent is totally up to the bride and groom. Any gift would certainly be better than nothing. I also agree that if the wedding party is asked to invest more financially into the wedding, spending a little more on a thank you gift would be a kind thing to do. I wasn't sure if there was a general rule that people followed (or even a mathematic formula used to calculate the "right" amount to spend, lol), so figured I'd see what everyone's thoughts were. How did you determine how much to spend on your bridesmaids?
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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
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    I love giving gifts, so I always tend to go over what I tell myself I'm going to spend lol.

    I'm almost done getting everything for their 'thank you' gift, and if I total it per person it'll be about $200. I want to make sure that the gifts total is in the same ballpark as what they're spending to be in the wedding! They're paying $99 for the dress, their own hair/makeup, and throwing me a bach. trip, so I want to make sure they feel appreciated and loved.

    Of course this all depends on an individuals' financial situation. So if you can't afford to spend $$$ on each person's gift, that's fine! The last wedding I was in, I didn't expect anything lol...maybe something around $50, but that's it!

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I am curious now too! Because, honestly, it totally makes sense now that you bring it up! I mean, when you host an extravagant black tie affair, people expect more from you- more extravagant venue, more extravagant entertainment, more extravagant food, etc. it only makes sense that you would give more extravagant gifts to your guests of honor.
    And if you are expecting a lot of time and money to be spent by your wedding party on your event, then it only goes to reason that your thank you should match their efforts.
    Another question I am wondering about now is what if you have a mixed situation? For example, I have not requested my bridesmaids do any sort of work or take any time out of their schedules in preparation for our wedding, other than picking out their dresses and taking them to be altered, if needed. Also, I am paying for their dresses, hair, and make up, so they are not being asked to contribute financially at all. However, we are having a more formal, upscale wedding.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    Oh my gosh Shelly, SAME!! I usually am the one that goes a little overboard because I love giving gifts to others (though I'm really bad at accepting gifts that others give me, lol). I've got my bridesmaids gifts almost completely set, and yet I still find myself seeing things at a store or online that they might like and I'm tempted to add those to their gifts too.


    Totally agree that it depends completely on the bride and groom's financial situation. I also like the idea of basing the amount spent on how much the wedding party has had to invest in both time and money. It's certainly a nice way to make sure they feel appreciated!
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    You know i hadn't thought much about this. i definitely didn't want to spend THAT much but i didn't want to get bad gifts either. i probably on average spent $50 on each

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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
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    Ugh I'm the worst at accepting gifts because I'm so awkward and don't know what to do hahaha!! YES I have to scold myself when I go shopping because I want to keep adding things that I know they'll like lol.

    I'm so excited to see their reactions when they open their gifts!!

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I am exactly the same! I always go overboard when it comes to gifts, but that is because I thoroughly enjoy giving and my “love language” tends to be gift giving. My BM’s gifts right now are totaling about $300, but I am constantly fighting the urge to add to them! Especially since we had to postpone the wedding! Now I have a whole additional year to see things I’m going to want to add!
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    All great questions! Personally, for the mixed situation, I would spend what you feel is right. I don't think you need to go crazy with spending on gifts, especially since you are already covering the dresses and hair and makeup. I'm sure they will appreciate whatever you decide to gift them!
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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
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    Our wedding is in January 2022, and I started shopping for them in November 😂 Giving gifts is def. my love language. It's so hard to fight the urge to get them more things!

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I've kind of been the same way! I don't want to spend too little, but I also don't want to go completely overboard. I think $50 is a good amount to spend per wedding party member!
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    tenor.gif
    Yes!!!!!!!!
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  • Fred
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    Hello Lisa!!

    I might be in the minority here but I DON'T think there is an "appropriate" price range, the gesture and your appreciation is more important..

    I don't know what we'll bedoing because we are 1 year away ...but I might buy a funny mug ( $12-15) or a $20 shirt and they will still love it. However I know my crowd on this one , they don't care about the size or the price.

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    Haha, I'm the same way! Definitely a struggle lol. And I'm sure your wedding party will love everything you've got for them! I'm super excited to give my wedding party their gifts, I know they'll enjoy them! 🙂
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    Ugh I ran into the extra time issue too! We postponed from 2020 to 2022, and I keep wanting to add things. So far, I've been pretty good about not going overboard and not spending more on gifts, but I've got another year to go, so we'll see if that lasts, lol.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I totally agree with you - I don't think that there's any one-size-fits-all amount that people should plan to spend, since everyone's weddings and budgets are all totally different. I know my wedding party also wouldn't care about the size or price of the gift. To me, it doesn't matter if a person spends $5 or $100, there is no "right" amount, it's the thought that counts. I was more so curious how people determine how much they consider to be sufficient to spend on each member of their wedding party - regardless of if that's $15 or $500. I definitely agree that the thought and the gesture of appreciation is most important.
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