How do you deal with a bitchy future sister in law?

Wow that is awful. Just think that she is a spoiled a brat. And you are actually working for what you want. Good for you!! I think that is awesome. I am in the spoiled category (lol) but I seriously look up to those who are paying for a wedding alone. I think that is great and I look up to you for that. Forget her! Your wedding is going to be so much better than hers, even if you like her location. You two are in love and will be together forever and that is all that matters.

It sounds as if you have stated your peace. We can only alter out behavior and not the behavior of someone else. So let her have her lavish day and continue to be the PIA she is. You focus on making your day the best that you can ignore her. If she doesn't get invited oh well...more money and less aggravation!

Unfortunately as a grown woman she is allowed to chose where she gets married. I am sorry she is treating family members poorly and that is certainly a bone of contention I am glad you are handling it how you are. However, to suggest she not get married at your 'dream' location (unless you are in fact getting married there) is just petty and childish. Focus on your own beautiful wedding and the man of your dreams. She may be a bitch, but she will also be your sister soon and you need to be the bigger person in that regard.

Yeah kinda sounds to me like you're the one being a little controlling here. If my brother's fiance ever tried to tell me where I could have my wedding I'd laugh in her face! And honestly, so would you. She probably loves the place for the same reasons that you did, it's not all about you. I'm sure it's disappointing that you aren't having your wedding there but that doesn't make it off limits to everyone else you know. Libragurl is right, ignore it all. You can only control yourself and your situation, not her. You don't have to be best friend with your SIL but for the sake of your FH and his whole family, back off

And seriously it's not ok to tell his own sister she can't come to his wedding if she doesn't make up with the grandmother. They are grown women who need to work it out between them. You can insist that the feud be left aside and NO fighting is allowed at the wedding, but you can't force a reconciliation. She might be a total bitch, but from what you've said it doesn't sound like she's making you look bad in front of your in-laws. It sounds like you're kinda doing that all by yourself. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but sometimes we have to look step back and take an honest look at our own responsibility in situations. I know you are emotionally invested in this so you can't see it clearly. But that's how it all looks to someone on the outside.

I could careless about the location the issue I have is that Justin had loved it and still does. She on the other hand had informed us it was a horrible place for a wedding and only chose to have the wedding there to hurt her brother. I personally hope she gets everything set in stone and her fiance simply hasn't has his divorced finalized on the day of her planned wedding.

WOW! that's a pretty harsh thing to wish on someone! You really need to be the bigger person here and not let his sister get to you so much. You both have your own lives to worry about here. If you are right that she chose a place she hates for her own wedding ONLY to hurt her brother then it sounds like she is her own punishment so you don't have to do anything lol.....focus on the two of you and your own love and let the rest fall to the background. It's hard I know, but it does help a lot!

Well stated Laura K!!

Ok, I tried to give you legitimate advice and you come back wishing divorce on your SIL? That is just terrible. You two deserve each other.

I was goingto start writing somethign then deicded to just say DITTO to all that Laura said. I'm sure you don'tmean to but you are making yourself sound like the bad one in this situation. I hope you are able to overcome it and have a beautiful wedding your way!

I'm not wishing her husband to be would divorce her just that he isn't divorced from his current wife the day she has planned. She had an affair with a married man for his money and convinced him to leave his wife and children. All I want is for some of her plans to get messed up. She can be married to the guy as long as she wants.

I'll repeat....clearly she is her own punishment....why do you care so much about her?

Jackie I have to agree with Laura and the other ladies. I know sometimes people drive us insane and its easy to wish bad things for them and get caught up in all that negativity but stop and think about what is really important. You are marrying a man you love who loves you. You will have a wonderful wedding and happy life together. But if you spend all your time focusing on how mad she makes you and wishing bad things for her you wont enjoy what you have as much. In the end if she is marrying this man for the wrong reasons it wont last but there is no point wasting time with negativity towards her.

YOU DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST IN YOUR HEART, YOU ARE MARRYING HIM NOT HIS FAMILY. TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS AND DON'T LET OTHR PEOPLE TELL YOU DIFFERENT. THIS DAY IS SUPPOSE TO BE YOUR ONCE IN A LIFETIME DAY, JUST REMEBER THAT

From the first thing you posted, it sounded as if maybe you were a bit jealous of her location and the fact that she didnt have to pay, but in a sense that is the tradition, for the brides family to pay for the wedding, then after you wished something bad on her, I was convinced that you are jealous.

Tradition is tradition, but if his parents know the sacrifice you are making for your wedding they should help you. My parents cant afford a wedding so we are paying for it. It is a sad situation. It is okay to be jealous and she is over stepping. Get even with kindness!

Jackie, you sound more bitter than looking out for the intrest of your FH. Im curious to know what does he have to say about all of this. To be honest with you I think you are so wrong for wishing ANY bad on ANYONE on thier wedding day. As a bride that is working hard to put on one of the most special days of her life,you of all people should know how devastating that would be to have all your plans go to waste. Even if she didnt act as YOU wanted her to, the fact that she will be your sister soon wont change by you being selfish or childish. Ever heard the term "kill em with kindness"? Ive learned in in-law situations unless they are causing harm to you or your family its best to kill lots of situations with kindness. Because when you combine your attitude and bossinesss to an already messy situation it more than likely will come back to bite you in the butt..

("I'm not wishing her husband to be would divorce her just that he isn't divorced from his current wife the day she has planned. She had an affair with a married man for his money and convinced him to leave his wife and children. All I want is for some of her plans to get messed up. She can be married to the guy as long as she wants.") I think you quote is a little harsh, and frankly a little rude, I mean if someone said that to you wouldn't you be angry? What she does is her affairs, and I agree it sounds as though you are jealous that she is having her reception at your dream location, I mean just because you wanted that place dosen't mean that no one you know can get married there. I mean yea, I am in the same boat as far as the wedding venue, I had a place I LOVED, but it was too pricey, I have learned to live with it, and I wish anyone getting married at my dream venue, whether I like them or not all the happiness in the world. Good luck with your wedding.

I don't think your FH would be to happy to learn that you posted something so horrible about his sister.

Simlar to Libs I was goign to write somethign long; however, i think everyone here has pretty much captured it. I beleiv in this situation you are unffortuantelybeing the person who is making themselves look bad to everyone. You need to take a step back and go into the other persons shoes here. I commend you for paying for your whoel wedding; however, that does not give you the right to wish bad things on someone who is having their wedding paid for. whay you need to remeber, and what many brides need to be reminded of, is that you are marrying your man that day. you are becoming his wife and he is becoming yor husband. as far as i was concernd with my wedding, i could have gottenmarrie di the middle of the street, i didnt care because what maytered was that i was marrying my best freind. you need ot channel your energy away from this situation and put it towards your wedding planing. you sound crazy jealous of her...