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Just Said Yes September 2021

How do you break it to opposing parents?

Kayla, on June 12, 2020 at 10:16 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15
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Hello everyone! My boyfriend and I have about 2 plus years of dating and 1 year of living together. My parents opposed me of dating Bobby for the sole reason of a huge age gap of about 20 years. I love him and wish to be with him despite their support and I’ve accepted the fact they may never accept him. They are civil to us since we’ve moved in and we spend holidays together and do family things despite them still feeling the same. My father admits Bobby is a great man it’s just his age he can’t get past. Does anyone have advice on the best way to announce our wedding? I was think something small over dinner or something.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on June 18, 2020 at 10:36 AM
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I would do the biggest planned out surprise ever! LOL maybe I’d even sort of just rub it in a little bit too! I’m probably not the best person to be giving you advice on this but if you love someone that’s all that matters! Guys are always older than girls for the most part. I don’t know how old you are but once you hit 30 it’s all the same at that point. Aside from the “rubbing it in factor“ I also think it might be A good idea to go bag with the revealing because it will show them just how incredibly excited you are to be marrying the love of your life! Maybe that will help them get on board a little bit with it. I’m so glad you found your soulmate and good luck to you and your FH!!!!
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think doing it over dinner would be nice
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Just tell them, and don’t get your hopes too high about a positive reaction. Like make sure you aren’t let down if they don’t react as excitedly as you’d hope.
    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Kayla ·
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    Thank you both for your support I’m pretty shy so going big has never been my thing but your right I should step it up some and show them I’m happy and proud to be with him. I just want to be as respectful as I can. I know he did not ask for my hand because he was not going to get permission. I do not want to slap it in their face either. They have never met his parents either not that we haven’t tried to get them all together but I think doing both announcing and meeting the first time would be too much on my parents. His parents have been supportive since we went on our first date. Thank you for the support!!! I will be 29 in September so not too far off from 30!
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  • Fany
    Devoted October 2021
    Fany ·
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    I can understand their concern with the age difference: conflicting goals, different interests and different expectations.
    I recommend you simply tell them and tell them you would love for them to be present and that you are confident that you're making the right choice for you.
    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
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    Same here! I am petty AF! 😂🤣 my husband is 12 years older than me. I was 27 when I met him an he was 39. I told my mom and she was like...🤨 But I told her to get with it or move on without me. Now these two are inseparable. It’s so annoying. 😒 😂
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  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
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    Congrats to you! I always proceed with caution and try not to make things too special for other people when there’s a possibility that they can be negative towards my excitement. Sit them down and tell them what’s up! You are grown! They’ll come around sooner than later! After they take some time to process is when I offer a nice gesture like dinner. Good luck to you!
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    Congrats!

    I'm more than 6 years older than DH, and it took FIL a long time to handle that (...and it's his family where the women marry younger men, so that was ... yeah).

    Honestly, just tell them over dinner or something simple. Don't expect tears of joy, but if they object, shut it down, fast.

    They have 2 options - 1. Deal with it and be in your lives, no matter their feelings; 2. Don't deal with it and don't be in your lives.

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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    I feel like over dinner is fine
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  • Nahnie2552
    Dedicated October 2020
    Nahnie2552 ·
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    Okay! I totally get it. My parents weren't thrilled I was engaged after 4 months and I'm also quiet at times. Privately tell them without your fiance then tell your fiance he needs to talk with your mom and dad (maybe all 4 of you together) about your engagement. Talking to your parents first will gauge their reaction. If they're accepting then your fiance should at least talk with them to show honor and respect. If they flat out don't accept it, then you and your fiance will need to continue forward knowing you don't have their support for now. They will eventually come around. Congratulations!!
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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Lol I’m glad it all worked out! My FH is 8 years older than me but it doesn’t seem like it.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I absolutely agree with this! Keep it small and informal, but try to keep your expectations low. You can't control how they'll react so try to stay calm and explain how happy you are and that you would like them to put aside their concerns and attend the ceremony.

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
    • Flag

    I was terrified to tell my family, so I started with telling my mom over brunch, and that worked out well.

    I once dated a man who is 26 years older than me. That really freaked them out because he is older than my mom, but they hid it very well. Best of luck to you!

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Dedicated April 2021
    Maria ·
    • Flag
    Well, my fiancé is 16 years older than me and I’m 24 yo, so, when I moved in with him my parents didn’t talk to me for 1 year or so, I had to just tell them “he is my boyfriend and I’m happy, So if you want to see me around, you need to accept him” so, they did little by little and then 1 year after that We got engaged in NYC y just sent them the video of our engagement. Btw, they haven’t been involved in Wedding Planning at all but it doesn’t affect me. So, my advice is if you’re happy and he is good to you, it’s their problem if they can’t see that. You can tell them at dinner I think that’s a good idea but try not to expect a big happy reaction from them. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated September 2021
    Sarah ·
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    Congratulations! My FH is 23 years older than me, but luckily my family doesn't really care. Good luck!

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