How do i tell people what i want them to wear?

Really all you can say is "I'd love it if you could find a cool-toned dress for the wedding!" if they ask your preference. Other than that, I wouldn't try to dictate what your stepmothers wear. As long as it isn't white (or similar to white) or wildly inappropriate, I wouldn't make a big deal about it.

You'll be surprised, a lot of people even guests will want to run their outfit by you for the wedding. You could ask them what they are wearing but you really can't tell adults what to wear unless they are in the wedding party. You can try to phrase it like "since we are family I was hoping we could all coordinate". If they don't want to or they already bought an outfit you can't force them.

It sounds like you both have decent relationships with your stepmothers if they'll be involved as much as possible, so I assume they're cordial with your mom and MIL as well.

I'd just be honest and explain that you want to involve them as much as you can in the day, and hope to take a lot of pictures with them. Mention what your mom and MIL will be wearing, and say you'd love it if they could wear cool-tones too.

I feel like if I were a stepmother in that situation, I'd be happy that I was included and relieved that I wouldn't be wearing something out of place.

But if for whatever reason they have something different in mind to wear, at least shades of blue go well with most other colors!

Both moms asked me what they could wear. I feel like if you brought up the color scheme, they'll naturally ask. I got the question of whether they needed to go with the color of the bridesmaid dresses or groomsmen tuxes and I said I didn't care if they matched as long as they didn't go with traffic cone yellow or neon orange. It was said in a joking way and we all laughed... but it's out there now. lol

Most people normally ask what colors to wear do that they coordinate.

Honestly you don't really get to control what everyone wears. You can decide what you where and what your bridesmaids wear. You fiance can decide what he wears and his groomsmen. If you have a flower girl and ring bearer you can select their attire too. Otherwise, everyone else can decide for themselves what they would like to wear.

View Quoted Comment I hope this is the case, because I don't want to offend anyone if and when I make color suggestions/requests.

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Thank you for easing my mind! Both women are very nice and completely on board for helping when and where they can with our wedding. I am very fortunate that neither of us have Cinderella evil-stepmothers. I like your idea of mentioning the pictures to help plead my case to ensure everyone looks cohesive.

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I'm not trying to decide what everyone wears exactly, just the tones.

As for my fiancé and the groomsmen, they practically get no choice, since my groom has given me free reign on what they are wearing, which will just end up being navy suits. Nothing crazy, but that was decided when we chose our color scheme.

View Quoted Comment You are though. You are trying to dictate what color people wear which is the same thing as deciding what they wear. If your fiance is okay with you dictating what him and his groomsmen wear that's one thing because he is making that choice, but isn't right of you to decide what colors you find acceptable for your family to wear. If they ask for your input fine, but to suggest or tell them what to wear is wrong. They are adults and should be treated as such rather than micromanaged so they look how you want.

I am having the same color scheme as you. Unfortunately I don't think you can say anything here. They should wear whatever they want and whatever feels comfortable. They aren't props for photos. A good photographer makes anything look great, anyways. That being said, they may reach out to you and ask for your suggestions- if that's the case then absolutely you can let them know your color tone of choice. You could also, in conversation, mention to the stepmothers that your mom purchased her dress in a beautiful cool-tone and you think it will work well with the color scheme. That would maybe help spark the conversation. Better yet, take them shopping as a bonding outing together.

Just let them know in your invitation that you would like them to wear the cool tone colors as the couples request for the wedding plz and thank you.

When asked we told people what our colors were (sapphire and emerald) but my father (who did not walk me down the aisle) wore a maroon striped shirt with a sports coat and still looked like he was part of the family. If they're anything like our friends and family they'll probably ask but if not mention the colors and what others are wedding for the pictures.

I agree with some of the other posters. I think you will be surprised at how much people will include you in choosing their outfit. Don't worry about it.

Agreed, i have a step mother also... and she asked what she should wear to our wedding. If you’re step mother doesn’t ask just ask her what should thought about wearing to the wedding, then mention your color scheme. She should respect it. A lot of ppl especially guests asked us what they should wear to lol

Surprisingly a lot of people have asked us what color they should wear for our wedding haha. Our photographer even reached out to us and asked the colors of our wedding so she could wear a complimentary color!

When someone has asked for a suggestion I just say that black, tans, grays, and purples would naturally fit in well with our color scheme and usually people are very receptive and agree and say that they'll find something in that color scheme.

I would make any suggestions unless they ask for them. They are adults and can dress themselves. As long as they are dressed appropriately for the event (venue, time of day, etc) they will not look weird in pictures no matter what color they wear. If they ASK you for advice, you can mention it might look more coordinated if they were to wear X,Y,Z color family. But i'd leave it at that.

I think most immediate family members expect to be asked to wear certain colors. Even my FH's aunt asked what the wedding colors were so she could coordinate. I didn't want the extra headache...nor did I really care enough...so I didn't ask anyone outside of the wedding party to wear certain colors. But I think something as simple as a group text saying "Hey, I'd like yall to wear this particular color so we coordinate for family pictures" will work just fine. I don't think you'll really get any push back or issues other than people not knowing exactly what you mean by cool tones...so I would be more specific & maybe give some color options...but other than that you should be fine.

Good luck!

Chances are they'll both want to get your opinion anyway. Maybe find some things online and send them a few photos with suggestions. Like I saw this dress and just loved the color, it'd look great with everyone else and I think this style would be very flattering on you! If they have something already, they'll let you know. If not I'm sure they'll appreciate the input.

I don’t want red dresses at the wedding so I just told them they can wear what they want but would love it if they avoid red. I can’t force them but I can let them know my preferences