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Abygail
Just Said Yes February 2021

How do i tell my parents i got married

Abygail, on March 16, 2021 at 3:46 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 11
Hello everyone I need help I’m so nervous,
I got married last month sort of out of nowhere, I’m 21 and am a college student, my parents are Mexican and super strict, moody (we have a weird relationship of bad communication), I’ve been friends with someone I dated for a short period of time and after not seeing each other for many months bc of corona I’m back on campus and everything came together and we said let’s get married and moved in together. I really love him and he’s the person for me no doubt, but I don’t know how to tell my parents, and I was going to but the chance never came and now I’m freaking out.
He said he’ll help me and we’re going to see them this weekend when we go up for a wedding of one of my friends

11 Comments

Latest activity by Miya, on March 17, 2021 at 8:34 AM
  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2022
    Elmarose ·
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    I am not sure if you telling your parents that you got married the weekend you all attend a wedding of one of your friends in case things do not turn out well. I would recommend attending the wedding and maybe inviting them for brunch or so the next day would be best. Where you are not rushed to speak and everyone can absorb the moment without anything disturbing. I come from a strict latino home and I can totally understand how you are feeling. None the less what's done is done and you love each other. How ever way they react put yourselves first and respect their feelings as well. I am hoping that they will get over it and understand or that time can heal this 💗 Stay positive and don't let your fear take the best of you. You are both adults and made a decision together. Wishing you both nothing but the best and just know everything will fall into its place ✨

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Congratulations! You can make it work, and in time your parents will see that. Home much longer will each of you be in college?
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Congrats on your marriage! I’d do it after your friend’s wedding. Also, really start working on your lack of communication with your parents. Definitely don’t want that to affect your marriage...
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  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
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    I don't think you should tell them before the wedding.
    I would strongly suggest getting your ducks in a row if you're still dependent on them before telling them.

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  • Afrangram
    Devoted April 2023
    Afrangram ·
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    This very well may not go over smoothly and I agree with the advise given previously of waiting to tell them after the wedding. The news may be very overwhelming for them so waiting to tell them when other major events are not going on is best. Congratulations on your marriage and I wish you guys much love, abundance, and joy.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Just be honest. If they don't accept it, it's on them.

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Are you financially independent from your parents? Are you aware that being married can affect your financial aid in college if this isn’t your final semester? As others have said, I think you need to just be honest, but I also think you need to be prepared that they may not be okay with their child getting married without telling them, especially if you still rely on them financially.
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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    So for me at 21 I was still living with my family & going to school and working. Of course I was an adult but some parent & kids have a relationship where us kids are grown but we really aren’t. I was scared to tell my parents things, my mom was so strict. I still felt like a kid. Idk how your relationship is but for me when I was 20 I told my parents I wanted to get married and they were not happy. They wanted me to finish school first. We ended up waiting a long time to get married but I remember feeling sooo nervous to tell them. I could only imagine being in your shoes. With that being said you will have to prepare for it to be a very tough conversation. I agree with pp. wait until after the wedding to tell them. I hope the conversation goes easier than you expected. Good luck!
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  • Miya
    Dedicated August 2021
    Miya ·
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    With my first marriage, I got married the first year of college, at 18 and only knew him three months. I too was scared. I agree with others and from experience to be honest. Don’t expect them to be happy and don’t be mad if they’re not happy. Let them absorb it how they need to. We had a plan too when we told them, about how we would take care of ourselves. I would continue school and pay myself, get an apartment/house, jobs, insurance, vehicles, etc. As others said too, if you are still financially dependent on them, you need to become independent, like immediately.
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  • Abygail
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Abygail ·
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    Hello I am and have been independent for two years now, I only stayed with them during covid to pay for my car but both me and him are good financially. But thank you so much, I really prepared to be mad if they reacted negatively but you’re absolutely right, even if I don’t agree with their views I have to understand it makes sense to them to be upset but not me. Thank you!
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  • Miya
    Dedicated August 2021
    Miya ·
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    You’re welcome and I’m glad you both are independent. Best of luck and I wish you both a beautiful marriage!
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