How do i respond/has any one had this happen?

I am having a small wedding only about 50 people. When people that I have not invited as, I simply let them know we are having a small intimate wedding with family and close friends only. Don't let people make you feel bad. Most of the time they just want to come and be nosey.

I keep having the same issue. It's so awkward but I've found politely telling them it's just close friends and family has helped. And we can't afford everyone. 🤷‍♀️

I feel like it happens to everyone. A girl I know from college who I haven't spoken to in over three years messaged me on Facebook: "hey boo! Am I invited to the wedding?" I really didn't know what to say so I didn't respond. Her second message, two days later: "😃". Still didn't know what to say, although I should have said something. Third message from her (two days after the second, four days after the first): "my bad."

It honestly was so uncomfortable! Some people really do ask innocently or might feel like they have reason to ask, but I think sometimes people ask under the assumption that I will feel guilty and invite them. I would just be firm with anyone who asks you that you're having a smaller wedding with family and close friends only. I wish I had been more upfront with this girl who messaged me THREE TIMES to try and get invited 🙄

One of my fiancé’s aunts (that’s not even invited) posted on Facebook about our wedding, and a lot of people commented about coming (not invited) and his aunt was saying “oh yeah you should bring the whole family along.” I was livid and called her out on it. I would say let them down nicely if they’re not going overboard on anything.

I am doing the same. I am having a small close family and friends. Wedding between 25-50 people. They are just trying to make you feel guilty and be nosey. I would point blank say the are not invited it's for family and close friends. If I have learned anything is people only show up to pretend they care at weddings and funerals.

I’m really glad I’m not alone- it’s honestly made my jaw drop a few times. We’re having a decently small wedding (both have large Italian families-so 115 is as small as we could get it) and we’re trying to save up for a house. I’ve politely said “we’re having a small wedding with very few friends” or “we’re sticking to a very tight budget” but some people still act offended. I wish I could invite everyone but the reality is it’s just too expensive.
Mans I think it’s crazy that so many of these people are people i don’t talk to or, in the case of my fiancé’s family, haven’t even met some of them

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Sooo dang true!

View Quoted Comment U hit the nail on the head. People want 2 be nosey. If they not close 2 u n u haven't spoken 2 in ages just let it roll off ur back like water in the shower.

You're definitely not alone. I have had a few people say at work (I don't talk about wedding stuff but they do know I'm engaged) "I can't wait for the invite!". Or two people commented on facebook photos of me and FH (no caption pertaining to getting married) "Please invite us to the wedding!" Like why? I would never mention anything about going to someone's wedding unless I was positive I was invited.

I am not at all surprised. I was amazed at the number of brides and grooms on this site who were never taught proper etiquette in their home, so it comes as no surprise to me that guests commit etiquette faux pas too.

Don't take it personally and don't let it cause you stress. Have some stock responses prepared for when the issue comes up.

“where’s my invite” "We are unable to invite everyone we would like to have with us on our special day. I know you will understand."

“so I’m inviting this person as my plus one” "We are unable to accommodate extra guests. If that means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding."

“I can’t wait for your wedding!” " Me too".

The most awkward for me so far has been one of my coworkers that brought it up at lunch a couple times. He was complaining that it's on a Monday and is there going to be alcohol... Seriously. We have gone out as a group a couple times a year for dinner. We don't regularly hang out. Plus... We are having a small wedding -75 people (which that has grown from 50 to add some family). We can't afford to invite everyone. FH and I agreed no coworkers. I felt terrible and infuriated at the same time. I'm going to have to face it soon since they'll realize when they don't get their save the date.
People just assume that if they know you they're invited. Ugh!

I honestly don't know anyone who hasn't dealt with this. You just have to be polite and let them know you can't afford to invite everyone and their brother. ok don't include the brother part but you get my drift. if you let them know promptly and politely it is beyond your control of how they handle it. best of luck, I'm still dealing with the issue as well. I feel ya girl.

View Quoted Comment Wow this is so ridiculous! I’m glad you shut it down.

Literally every thing you just said has been said to me. I’ve also had people who can’t come try and see if someone else (further out extended family) can come in their place....? No? It’s insane and it also makes me upset! Just try and look past it all and stay true to your plans for your day. Because that’s what it is - YOUR day! No one else’s (aside from your SO)!

I would just say that you are having a smaller wedding and while you wish everyone could be invited it’s just not in the budget.

The same people keep coming back to tell me they know we don't have room but they hope we find room for them. I'm blocked by the whole thing. like yeah well I'm not gonna. its 3 months four me too if I haven't specifically told you you're on my b list, you ain't coming.

I regret inviting certain people. Why couldn’t I have been stronger like you ladies!!!!

View Quoted Comment Same here, under 50 if we can help it and I say the exact same thing to people all the time.

View Quoted Comment Lol I love those stock responses! Shut them down with a smile.

I've had coworkers ask where their invite is. Um you aren't invited lol. My ex SIL also told my mom she hopes to get an invite since she still thinks of me like a sister. Um what? When I was married to your brother you never treated me like a sister so why the heck would I invite you?

It's annoying for sure. The closer the wedding gets the more I'm sure people will ask. One reason I haven't said much on FB about the wedding. I don't need people coming out of the woodwork asking to come