How do i make it clear to a few guest that they cannot have a plus one?

There’s no way to do this without being mean or rude. Couples are a social unit and should be invited to weddings as such. If you don’t want to invite the entire couple, don’t invite either of them. How would you feel if you were invited to a wedding and the couple went out of their way to let you know that your FH isn’t welcome?

View Quoted Comment I agree. You just have to be the bigger person and either invite them or don’t. I’m sure a lot of them won’t come without their significant other anyway

I was dealing with this same thing when deciding on who to invite, and who would get a plus one. Just think of it this way - it’s your wedding day and your focus will be on you and your husband and the wonderful time you will have. If someone comes with a partner you don’t care for, you probably won’t even spend much time socializing with this person. Don’t let this get in the way of your big day!

If you and your fiancé already decided that they shouldn’t be at your wedding, then you address the invitation to the person you want in attendance. “1 seat has been reserved in your name. Accept or Decline” and you keep it moving.


Grown people shouldn’t be offended when they aren’t invited to a wedding. And from the way it sounds since you are “not a fan” they know their behind isn’t invited. They are just waiting to see if you are actually going to do it.

This is going to come off as rude no matter how hard you try. Are any of these couples married? Because that would even be worse.


Agree with PPs.... more than likely, these guests won’t come if you extend an invite to their significant others.

If you’re not inviting their significant others I wouldn’t invite them. If just look at it in their perspective, if you were invited to a wedding but your husband wasn’t, would you want to go to the wedding without him?

View Quoted Comment Agreed, if they aren’t married and you want to try to only invite one I’d try this but honestly some people still might not get the point and show up anyways.

There really is no way to not invite someone’s SO without being rude. someone with a SO is not a “plus one.” Plus ones are when you let single guests bring a “date.” Someone in a relationship is always going to expect to be invited along with their SO (reasonably so).


If you really object to these people then just go ahead and invite the people you want (don’t address it to the SO, just address it to the invited guest, and make it clear on the Rsvp that there is only 1 seat reserved). But don’t be surprised if they are offended. Also think about when/if they get married... are you going to expect to be invited to their weddings?

If they're a couple then there's no way to tell them their SO can't come without coming off rude, even if you don't try to be. I agree with others, maybe try to emphasize that there is only one seat reserved however, you need to be like this across the board & not just for this one situation because it will be noticed. You can't revoke one person's "plus one" and then end up having other guests bring in their SO (who aren't married as well).

**My personal thing is I'd be pretty upset if I was invited to a wedding and the couple went out of their way to not invite my own SO.

I would invite them both, or neither. I would not go to a wedding where my significant other wasn’t invited without good reason.

I think it depends on the type of SO. Meaning if it is someone they live with and you and your fianceé have met multiple times an invite should be extended to both or neither. If the SO is just a girlfriend or boyfriend, who they do not live with, who you have met once you can address the invite to just the person you want invited. You have to decide how important your relationship with that person is.

I will say, if this person has been aggressive or violent towards you or your FH, you do not need to invite them. (We don't have a backstory, just what you provided, but I wanted to make that clear to you)

If that is a reason why you don't want that person there, I would have your Fiance handle it, because it is their family. Have your fiance call them and explain why the S.O. is not invited and that you both understand if they no longer wish to attend.

While I agree 100% that couples should be invited as social unit, I did want to provide context about if that person you don't want there is violent or may cause a scene on your day, you don't need that on your special day!

Both members of a couple are invited by name or neither one of them is.

This is not a plus-one, which is a date invited by an invited guest.

My FH and I dealt with this right off the back. We made a huge plus-one rule. One of these 3 things had to be true.

1. Be married or engaged.

2. Be living together.

3. Be dating for at least a year.

We let all our friends/family who are single/dating know these things ahead of time so there's no confusion on anyone's part. We don't want to have a wedding that is too big so this was an easy way to cut the list down fairly.

Only the two people involved know whether or not they are a couple. It's not determined by time, living arrangements, or jewelry, but by their feelings about each other. If you want to know if they are a couple, ask one of them.

I don't think it's appropriate to tell someone you don't like their choice in partner and therefore that person is not invited. It's completely fine to tell single guests to come solo, but guests in committed relationships should are considered a social unit and should be invited together.

You need to decide if having the person you like there is worth having the person you don't like there, and invite your guests accordingly.

My “rule” is anyone that is married or they live with their partner, they’re both invited. Point blank. Of course, you’ll have some grey areas like a couples that have been together for years or they’re well know as a couple in your group of mutual friends. So they’re a package deal too.


But other than that, nope. At least for me!
This has definitely increased our guest count, as you can expect. Which is why it’s VERY important to establish what your “budget” is prior to sending invites.
It doesn’t sound like a $$$ thing though.... It sounds a little personal, like you don’t like certain people and don’t want them invited. In short, it’s simply rude to not invite someone’s wife/husband/domestic partner. Either invite them both or not at all.
Best of luck!

I had this issue too with two of my fiancé’s guy friend’s girlfriends. I dislike them so much that I don’t want them there at all because I can’t fake being nice to them anymore. I’d say if they’re not worth the price of their seat and you dislike them I’d have your fiancé tell his friends straight up that you both don’t like the gfs and that you’d really appreciate if they came by themselves. Or you could do no ring no bring! Honestly, with my wedding I’ve decided that it’s a once in a life experience and will only be attended by those close to me, and I think it would make any wedding a happier time.