How do i help fh choose his groomsmen? Hes procrastinating!

This isn't your problem. He'll decide or he'll get married with just a best man. Either way, I don't see the issue.

Is it possible he doesn't have anyone else he's comfortable asking if he keeps avoiding it?

Maybe put the foot down and set a date that you need to know. Maybe ask why this is not of importance to him. My FH does not want to do any wedding talk bc he is a we should go to the courthouse person but sports, politics and fixing up the house he wants my undivided attention. Men focus on what they are most interested in. If at the end of the day he is not interested in his groomsmens then like you said let him stick with the best man.

I'd have a sit down, serious talk with him. Why is he waiting? Does he not want a best man, or any groomsmen at all? Is he worried they won't want to do it? The longer he waits, the harder it's going to be for people to commit being involved.

Pick a time to sit down with him when you're not rushing off to go somewhere or work on other wedding tasks and talk through the wedding party (bonus points if you catch him one day and say "hey, tomorrow let's nail down/solidify plans for the wedding party" that way he has time to think about his groomsmen in advance...maybe lol).

Not only is this important logistically - because these guys will have to get suits, and buying + altering or renting can take time and money (which the groomsmen may need time to save up for) and the sooner he can ask them the better - but it's important for him to know that he will have some of his closest friends standing up with him on the big day...and to throw him a killer bachelor party.

Go into this conversation with the goal to make decisions on the wedding party, but also keep an open mind and see why he's having such a hard time choosing. Some of my best guesses are:

1. he's just always been a procrastinator and doesn't see how this is different

2. he is having a hard time choosing a specific number of people - are y'all trying to have even wedding parties? Is he worried about excluding friends or not having enough close friends to hit this magic number? Uneven wedding parties are totally fine!

3. is he self conscious about the number of close friends he has? Maybe he sees you with 15 of your closest sorority sisters/childhood friends/co-worker besties and he's trying to contact that random guy from high school football to try and fill 15 sets of shoes. If he just wants a best man, make sure you reassure him that it is totally OKAY!

Set a goal deadline when all members of the wedding party will be asked to be in the wedding. Beyond that, you need to leave this in your husbands hands but let him know you're always there to lend an ear when needed!

I would figure out what the absolute last reasonable date to rent suits/tuxes is, and tell him he has to meet that deadline. I think having a big reason to have the decision made will be more successful than just telling him he needs to get it done.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this response! Its either 1 or 3 or both he has a significant number of friends more than I have. I could care less if it's even. I will definitely try to set a date for it to be the last day for him to decide.
I think his issue may be measuring how close he is to each friend. He hangs out with his best friend often and the others 3 to 4 times a year approximately.

Thanks for all the responses ! I am certainly going to put my foot down and set a date for him to decide as veronica said thanks for that by the way. If it's just his best man that's cool too, but I dont want him to feel like I didnt tell him how time in shorter than we think. I will find out exactly when the most reasonable date is for tux rental

I think this is entirely up to him. He can get married with one best man and you have uneven numbers. I would NOT want my hubby badgering me on choosing my attendants. Sorry I am being harsh, but it sounds like you are badgering him. Not your problem.

I am a huge proponent of picking your battles and this is not a "battle" I would concern myself with. Surely there are many more important wedding-related things you need his input on, and "bugging him to death" about something that doesn't really matter will not help your cause in other categories. Not to mention, this is setting up an unproductive dynamic for how you two handle disagreements throughout your marriage. Fight for what matters; leave the rest alone.

The bride's and groom's party don't need to match. You can have 30 bridesmaids for all you want and he can have one groomsman. Whatever works for you both!

"Putting your foot down" on something that's entirely his choice (and that he's well aware is his choice) just feels like a recipe for an argument or tension that is so incredibly unnecessary.