Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

N
Beginner August 2018

How do i explain to guests that we will not be serving alcohol?

Nicole , on January 3, 2018 at 8:22 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 55
I am a converted Muslim and my fiancé is Muslim . We are planning on have a small party/reception maybe like 50-75 people . We do not drink because of our faith and my fiances family does not. My family does drink. I suppose this would be a clash of cultures but I’m not sure how to deal with this. My family is used to very American wedding traditions where liquor is served hands down. My fiancé’s and his family are accustomed to Muslim/Arab type weddings where alcohol not being served is normal. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to handle this ? I do not personally want to serve alcohol and put money towards something we do not believe in consuming. But I also am afraid that my family/friends might not understand this at all and would be disappinted at my reception, get bored, leave early. I also feel bad flying people out to come to this event who expect there to be alcohol like they are used too. I understand in American traditions, serving alcohol to your guests is regular and part of being a good host . But since we also hold Muslim beliefs and have two completely different cultures in the room I see this maybe being an issue : issue if I serve alcohol, issue if I don’t serve alcohol. What are your thoughts ?

55 Comments

Latest activity by MrsC, on August 25, 2023 at 4:33 PM
  • Candy
    Expert May 2018
    Candy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Are you not allowing alcohol or are you just don’t suppling it to your gusts?
    • Reply
  • OliviaP
    Devoted June 2018
    OliviaP ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Provide alcohol to those who want to consume it.
    • Reply
  • Susan
    VIP December 2017
    Susan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    How accepting is your family of your conversion? I ask because I wouldn't expect alcohol at a Muslim wedding, but depending on how close I was to the couple, I'd probably leave after dinner/cake cutting.
    Maybe consider a shorter, daytime reception- if it was a lunch or brunch wedding, I feel like it's more acceptable to not have alcohol.
    • Reply
  • N
    Beginner August 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    My fiancé and I are on the fence about his . My fiancé is more religious than me and says we shouldn’t allow alcohol or supply it . I wouldn’t really want to put any money towards it. But I wouldn’t care if like guests got their drinks some other way. I’m trying to accommodate everyone in a way where I don’t offend anyone but is becoming difficult .
    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Devoted August 2018
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My sister married into a Muslim family. I've been to several Muslim weddings. All have had booze, hookah bar etc, even if the hosts didn't drink. Also, not all Muslims abstain from alcohol.

    Your ceremony can be full of all the beliefs tenets you hold dear. Your reception, however, is for your guests. Keep that in your mind while you plan and you won't be disappointed.

    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes February 2018
    Char ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I agree with Susan. Even having your Wedding on a Sunday afternoon is an option, note on invitation that the Couple requests no alcohol will be served. Those that want to drink, will know to bring bottle with them & have it in their rooms or go to nearest Bar. If they love you, they'll respect your wishes. Chars Touch
    • Reply
  • N
    Beginner August 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    It’s not really a spoken thing . I don’t see or talk to most of my extended family and most live in other states . Most know but they don’t mention much to me . One of my aunts and cousin did bring it up to me and they are supportive and accepting. About 40% of guests are Muslim and the rest aren’t.
    • Reply
  • N
    Beginner August 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Susan and Char- that’s a great idea about the Sunday afternoon option and having it possibly shorter. Thanks so much !
    • Reply
  • NoraBoraXD
    Dedicated May 2018
    NoraBoraXD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I don't think dry weddings are automatically a "no-no," but OP, you really do seem to have a dilemma on your hands.

    Instead you could try to get a little creative with your drink? Sparkling cider/juices? Infused waters and cocktails? Unique food options?

    Have you considered a brunch or afternoon reception?

    The biggest issue I think is spreading the word - maybe you can put it in the FAQ section of your wedding website and hope it spreads through word of mouth?
    • Reply
  • NoraBoraXD
    Dedicated May 2018
    NoraBoraXD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    *silly autocorrect! I meant "mocktails" not "cocktails
    "
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes July 2018
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We are also not serving alcohol. His family is against it. My family parties hard. It has definitely been something I've worried about... When I first brought up our decision to respect his families beliefs, my mom had issue with it and didn't understand why. But in the long run, my family isn't coming to booze it up; they're coming to celebrate our marriage with us in the way we want. My friends have all been supportive of our decision as well. The way I see it, if they're truly your friends and loved ones, they'll support you and your dry reception. If they want to leave early because there's no booze, how sad for them.
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes July 2018
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes, yes, yes! So helpful!
    • Reply
  • N
    Beginner August 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I suppose I could do mocktails . I just know that some of the guests would still prefer the real thing. And some others have mentioned an afternoon reception I’m leaning towards that now . I agree this is the biggest issue , about spreading the word I domt know if I would want to put it on my actual invitations .
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm not sure why you would withhold something from half the guests just to "please" the other half. Surely you can allow people to make their own decisions about what they would like to consume?

    • Reply
  • N
    Beginner August 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Good to know someone has been in my shoes . Thanks for the support and advice Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes July 2018
    Morgan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Eh it doesn't really matter, we aren't having alcohol just because we aren't interested in alcohol. Our families like to drink but not our problem haha. It's your Wedding have it go how you want it to go.
    • Reply
  • OliviaP
    Devoted June 2018
    OliviaP ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My wedding is a Sunday afternoon. We’re featuring 6-7 wines, 3 beers and having full open bar for hard liquor.
    • Reply
  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Provide alcohol. Not everyone has to partake.

    Do the Muslim relatives not go into restaurants that serve alcohol? Do they not shop at stores that sell it? The mere presence of something shouldn’t go against a religion.

    I can guaranted thdt your family will be upset. Yes, they are coming to celebrate you, but it is only proper to fully host people that are coming to something in your honor.
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    This is incorrect. Once you've invited guests it's up to you to provide a good guest experience for them. That includes providing what people would like to drink. Just because *you're* not interested in alcohol is not a good reason to not fully host your event.

    The ceremony is for the couple, the reception is to thank guests for attending the ceremony.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Not your problem??? It ceases to just be about you and FH once you invite guests. Their comfort and wants should be taken into consideration... Fh and i don't drink, but everyone we know does have wine or beer. Just because we don't drink, doesn't mean we're going to force than upon our guests.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics