How do i ask my bridesmaids?

I have anxiety so I always have an irrational fear about my relationships with people not being as strong as I think I so I did a small candle that said "will you be my bridesmaid?" and gave it to them in person. This helped me because I didn't have to get any words out or be super nervous waiting for a text response. But it's not tacky at all to send a text or even call. A lot of brides prefer doing that because they feel a gift seems pressuring.... which is why I did a little candle because it wasn't something big that would seem like I'm trying to pressure them. So do whatever you feel is right! If it helps, all the girls I asked said yes and everything has been great

I texted all the girls prior and said something like "Hey! So I'd LOVE for you to be my bridesmaid, obviously. We are thinking of a July wedding outside of Denver. So after dress, flight, hotel, and rental car, it looks like each girl may have to spend around $800. It's 16 months away but I just want to check with everyone before officially "asking" so I'm not assuming everyone can afford it!" Then I sent a proposal box to each girl after. They all said yes, but said they liked the heads up!

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I really like this advice and how you gave them a heads up that being a bridesmaid would require paying for the dress, flight, hotel, rental etc. so they know what to expect.

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I think this is a good idea. I texted all of the members of my BP before sending any sort of "official" invite (i.e., proposal box, card, jewelry, etc.) as well.

There is no reason for gifts at this point. Call them up and ask, or if you see them regularly ask privately in person. Don't make some sort of big thing. Keep it simple. Then at the time of your wedding give them a gift

I asked mine over messages when I couldn't see them, and they were thrilled nonetheless.

You don't need to ask your bridesmaids with fancy gifts and bridesmaid proposals, just tell them either in person or over a text that you'd love for them to stand next to you on your wedding day, but understand if they can't due to financial or other reasons.

Also, if you do end up doing gifts, make sure to give ALL bridesmaids a gift. Even if it is your MOH, I feel like the other girls would be slightly hurt if she received a fancy gift and they got cards. You can always save the gifts for the wedding day!

I wrote out a note in a "Will you be my bridesmaid?" card that I randomly found at TJ MAXX talking about each of our friendships and "formally" asking them to send up with me. I gave one in person (because I happened to be in FL visiting her shortly thereafter) and mailed the other (this one did her BM proposal to me in the same way, and I still have the card!) They both said, yes of course! (Neither of them was surprised, lol)

I just sent each of them a text message asking them if they would be my bridesmaid. I had the same fear as you so this made it so I didn’t feel like I was pressuring them at all

Wow. my bridesmaids are our children so I really didnt have the stress of asking, thank god. seems like you are going through alot. Me personally, I dont like rejection either. maybe you can call them each vs a text and ask then once they say yes you can make it more formal by sending the box

View Quoted Comment Well I’m glad I’m not the only one. Were your bridesmaids nearby or far away? Did you have an estimate on cost?

View Quoted Comment One of them was far away but all the others were nearby. I didn’t have an estimated cost that I gave them but I let them all pick their own dress just in a specific color so that helped them stay in whatever price range they needed and the wedding is only about 30 min from where we all live so there was no travel cost. (The bridesmaid that was far away has since moved back)

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Hi Samantha!

I totally agree with Future Mrs. H! A preliminary text asking them to be your bridesmaids is definitely okay and then "officially" doing it later.

How are you planning on doing the official "proposal" bridal party invite?