How did you stick to your decisions and not feel guilty?

Stick to your guns. There is no reason to have a baby as a flower girl, UNLESS that is what you want. You're right, though, odds are she will want to blame you. You just have to be prepared to disappoint her. We all have something in our planning that has disappointed a family member/friend.

This is hard for me too, I want to please everyone. BUT this is your day. No one but you and your hubby will remember every single detail in five years' time. You and your FH have the final say in your bridal party, and if you don't want a baby because she's too young, then that should be that. Easier said than done, but just remember that the day isn't about the baby, everyone is there to celebrate you and your FH!

Stick to your guns. Nobody will miss a baby on the aisle! And your MIL’s insistence seems annoying.

Random bit - I was having this conversation with someone the other day and we were like, "grandparents are the new trophy parents"...seriously. Once they become grandparents (especially the women), it's competition, "are YOU going to have grandparents soon? Looks like they won't be getting married for a while. Muahahahah!" or "my granddaughter looked up and i swear she talked to me in french today. what did YOUR granddaughter do?"

I wold stick to my guns. And make FH step up and say to Mom & Sis: “Thanks sooo much for the offer of niece to be in our wedding, but she’s a little too young. The other 2 are plenty for us too! Lol”
If she keeps pushing just flat out tell her “Not gonna happen. We appreciate it, but No. No wagon, no mommy waking her down, just no. FH/FW & I have our wedding party set and we are not altering it. We have our reasons and we are sorry you’re upset by that but, Nope.”

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LMAO!! Having just become a grandma two years ago, I totally get this!!! I don't mean I'm like this (heaven forbid!!) but I have seen it in other grandparents. Kind of twisted, if you ask me. But even I wouldn't give in to these demands. I love my granddaughter to death, but if she was too young, she's too young. Besides, even if you didn't think she was too young, you already have that part of your program worked out--to yours and FHs satisfaction. MIL needs to get a grip and shut up about it!!

FH should probably be the one to tell her that, since it's his mother. But stick to your guns, and have the wedding you want.

I know this is hard for you, but stick. To. Your. Guns. MIL is going to think what she wants to think no matter what. Personally, I would have FH step in and say “I made the decision, now shut up about it.” You guys are getting one day, your wedding day. She gets to be a grandma the rest of her life. And I agree the wagon thing gives me anxiety. You’re thinking about the safety of your niece there. Let her think what she wants. Don’t try to please her this is you and hubby’s day! Good luck

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If only my FH can tell them to shut up haha but like he said, it's ingrained in their personality and the only thing we can change is our reaction to them, no matter how many times they ask (unfortunately).

MIL suggested that his sister walk down the aisle with her granddaughter. I've never been close to his sister but they were close growing up. I think his mom just wants everyone together (as expected with close-knit, traditional families) but that can't happen. Like I said, we 9 know babies between us. My closest cousin just had her first baby (girl) and she would be about 6 months - if I lifted the "baby ban", then I would have her mom carry her down then too? My other cousin just had her son around the same time. Then that means, I would have her carrying him down the aisle also.

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Congrats Grandma!! Yes, I don't want to grandma-shame, as all grandparents ADORE their children and that's more than okay. I think MIL is just too much. It's just her way of showing off and getting attention for herself and the baby. I can't believe she actually said, "will she (the baby) take the attention away from you guys?"

My problem is that anything wedding-related, they ask me directly. They never ask him

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Thank you!!

Yeah, how do the FHs get away with this? Nobody ever asks my FH anything either. They all come to me! lol

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You've said a lot of truth in that statement. Seriously! Is it because guys don't like talking about weddings? I don't like talking about weddings either, especially my own lol

Thanks for you all your responses everyone! It just dawned on me today and my problem is that I need to reclaim back my power.

I texted one of the flower girl's mom and give her the link to the dress we wanted. I asked her what her thoughts were and she asked me she should order it. I told her "if that's something you like, then yes." She said, "IT'S YOUR WEDDING!" True but I'm flexible. I want my wedding to be the best representation of both of us but I know it won't be perfect. If you're asking people to spend on something, they should have say too. I think maybe all this pushy MIL business is getting me to go back to "people pleasing" again, which is my big problem.

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I guess that may have something to do with it. Also, because people typically assume that the woman is more involved in the "planning" than the man. And maybe that's true, to a certain extent. I know in my particular case, this is my first wedding/marriage, but it's FHs 3rd marriage, 2nd wedding (2nd marriage was at the courthouse), so he's all about giving me exactly what I want for my "dream wedding," which more often than not translates to "you decide." He only really wanted input on the music, because that's the most important thing to him. He's fine with whatever I decide on decor, theme, food, attire, etc.

But it does get irritating at times that he never has to feel the pressure of the questions!!! ugh.

View Quoted Comment I’m right there with you!! Have you asked him to step in and answer questions? When I told my FH about it, he said, “well they never really ask me and if I stepped in, it might make you look weak.” Oh bless him. I think men are secretly afraid of getting wrapped in our position so they try to escape it. At least that’s what I think. I don’t want to stereotype though

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No, I haven't asked him, mostly because I seem to always be alone when the questions come. He keeps getting secretly lucky that way. LMAO!! I love that answer about you looking weak. Yes, I'm on board with the idea that they are secretly afraid! I know my man is secretly afraid of looking like a wussy if he's seen doing any sort of wedding planning. Not a manly thing, in his mind. LOL I don't think you're stereotyping at all! This is really how a lot of them are!! They don't want to get sucked in to what my FH calls "wedding drama" lol