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Expert September 2019

How did you ask your bridesmaids?

Anna, on February 26, 2018 at 12:45 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15

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So the time has come to ask girls to be my bridesmaids. I don’t have any friends that are girls and my relationship with the girls I’m going to ask (my current sister in law and my future sister in laws) is very limited. We don’t talk outside of family gatherings. Did you ask yours all individually or some in groups?
my current SIL I will probably just call because I’ve known her for years, but my future SILs I have no idea what to do. If I have to in person it’s near impossible to see them all separately, but I don’t want them to feel like they have to say yes if one or two want to and the other doesn’t.
I’m hoping I can just text them given the relationship but I’m not sure if that’ll be considered rude? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

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15 Comments

Latest activity by April, on February 27, 2018 at 10:40 AM

VIP October 2018
Yoomie · on February 26, 2018 at 12:49 PM
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I just called six of my closest friends to ask them to be part of the bridal party; not all of them are girls. Your bridal party doesn't have to be all female; it can be mixed. And I never did understand the purpose of a fancy bridesmaid box proposal. It just puts the person on the spot to have to say yes.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 26, 2018 at 12:50 PM
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We all got together for drinks and I gave them these cute little Rose gold bow earrings that had a card that said "I can't tie the knot without you." Prosecco and Cava! It was fun and low key
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Expert September 2019
Anna · on February 26, 2018 at 12:53 PM
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I absolutely agree with you about the bridal box. Plus I don’t want to give the impression that they have to spend a ton of money: it’s going to be very flexible. But they’re family and thought it was important that they’re apart of the day one way or another
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Expert September 2019
Anna · on February 26, 2018 at 12:53 PM
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I’ll keep in mind. Thanks!
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Just Said Yes March 2018
Bethany · on February 26, 2018 at 12:56 PM
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The way I asked my bridesmaids, was I just called them and asked! So my way wasnt fancy in anyway.
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Savvy July 2020
Yvonne · on February 26, 2018 at 1:00 PM
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If you can’t get them all alone I would just call them so they don’t feel the “pressure” of being in a group to be apart of it if they don’t want to. But just always let them know how much you appreciate them, because being apart of a wedding is a lot of work for them as well. I think that’s why sometimes people go all out when they ask.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on February 26, 2018 at 1:04 PM
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I just texted them individually.
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VIP October 2018
Yoomie · on February 26, 2018 at 1:05 PM
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Oh, also be sure to tell them what you expect in this particular role and approximately how much it would cost. So they don't feel pressured to always be available for communication or pre-wedding events and spend x amount of money.
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Expert September 2019
Anna · on February 26, 2018 at 1:41 PM
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Right I was thinking of doing it individually. I want the least amount of work for them as possible (it’s a very minimalist wedding).
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Expert September 2019
Anna · on February 26, 2018 at 1:41 PM
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Good advice
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Beginner August 2018
Shona · on February 26, 2018 at 1:46 PM
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Just asked 2 of them and MOH I had a single rose delivered to her work and had the card to the asking. She replied YES through Snapchat haha
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VIP September 2018
Michelle · on February 26, 2018 at 1:54 PM
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I have a MOH (female) and two Bridesmen. I asked them all by making baskets filled with shots and custom shot glasses. Then for my MOH, she got an extra gift which was a bathrobe that said Maid of Honor. I wrote each a letter about why I chose them to be a part of this. They all loved it. Then once they agreed, we took a shot together.
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Devoted June 2018
Janie · on February 26, 2018 at 2:08 PM
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I asked them all individually with a handwritten card, bottle of bubbly, and a little bouquet of flowers. I think a phone call would be good to ask your future SILs, and I'd follow it up with a cute thank you note in the mail about how excited you are to have them in the wedding.
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VIP May 2019
BrandiWeds18 · on February 26, 2018 at 2:19 PM
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I asked mine individually. Then i had a brunch outing and gave them all a little cute box with champagne, a compact mirror, wine. They loved it. I also waited until about 10 months before to ask them as my original date was in 2018. I'd hold off on asking some of them if you feel your relationships aren't too strong as of yet. If you have guy friends a bridesMAN would be cool.
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Expert September 2018
April · on February 27, 2018 at 10:40 AM
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I live in CT and all my bridesmaids are in FL (except one who lives in CO). I flew to FL to pick out my wedding dress so while I was there I got everyone together for brunch so I could ask them all together since I had very limited time before I had to fly back home. I did cute proposal boxes for all of them. I mailed the box to the girl in CO.
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