How did any of y'all deal with your overbearing mothers?

You just have to pick and choose your battles. My mom has always been super opinionated and wedding planning really brings it out. She and my dad are paying though, so that affects how much pushy-ness I let her get away with.

I'm starting to think the answer to this question is elope lol

Not my mom, my FMIL and you gotta pick your battles. If you really think she's going to take over, then fight some things. If she's just spouting out random bullshit, don't waste the time.

^^Haha meh... yeah. When I was trying on dresses she kept talking about things that SHE would want and the stuff that I wanted was too simple. Then when I asked her to send me my pictures of THE dress she sent the pictures of the dress that she liked instead

That was meant for heidi's comment

I tell her if she wants a say she has to pay... that is my mantra to whomever has some opinion about the wedding that is unsolicited... WORKS LIKE A CHARM

LOL! Scotch free! Does the mother-in-law live in Scotland? Because if so, that is a fantastic pun.

I've never had that problem- sorry. Mainly because my mom just doesn't care about details like that, and my fiance's mom is pretty laid back, and also lives pretty far away. My dad has been the worst actually. He is concerned that it will be a "hippy wedding" and he will be embarrassed. However, for him, we found a church that has an outdoor area we can use, and a pastor we like. I don't share many planning details with him, so there isn't much trouble at the moment. I guess if he is unhappy with anything at the wedding, he will do what he always does- doesn't call for a few days and then gets over it.

I follow this guide for drama free wedding planning as much as I can. The rules are very similar to fight club, if you need a clue:

http://offbeatbride.com/2011/08/the-5-rules-of-a-drama-free-wedding-planning

Lol my mother is making me crazy.... I love her but I think she believes this is here wedding so I understand lol

My mother wants nothing to do with my wedding... So I've just accepted the fact and moved on. My FMIL is more than helpful but not overbearing... I guess you just have to choose your battles, yet stand your ground...

Thanks everyone, its really nice to know some others have the same problem. Blondie123-that is so funny, but my nana keeps calling me wanting to discuss all the details haha

I miss my mom and love that her only time we spent together was picking out my dress. I can laugh now at how my 2 dress choices took us less than 5 min to decide on which dress. instead of her look for a dress for herself or the FG she spent a hour heloing out 2 other brides. I was hurt but what can I do my mom is a helper. And what was touching when it came to my fitting, the sales lady reassured me of how lucky I was to have a mom like that. Sorry I just get a little upset with those cannot seem to find a mends to get along with their moms. I wish you luck.

Future Mrs. JKR- can you be vague? I tend to say, "Oh yes, I am so far along in the planning. I have all of my vendors booked! The flowers, the dress, my DJ will be great! The venue holds 200, and it's going to be a beautiful wedding!

People usually understand me at that point. If they don't, then I go into extreme depth with mundane details until they get bored. But I used to work customer service where people were the meanest they could be , so I'm pretty good at answering a question without actually answering it, or answering it in such a way that it's like I answered it, but I avoid the part where they yell at me. It helps avoid a lot of drama.

I find myself turning in to her...

I'm dealing with both my mom, and my FMIL....it was intense at first, I had a mini meltdown, and then just sat down with my sister in law (also my MOH and lifesaver/mediator/wedding planner) and talked with her, asked her to take the reigns and control the moms. I also had a good discussion with my FH about his mom and he was just so used to her opinions and overwhelming sense of needing to help that he didn't even notice it, but once I pointed it out, we put a stop to it. Nicely. But now I'm hoping I won't have to go through more meltdowns. :o)

Tbh, I tried to include my mom and asked her to come dress shopping with me a few times but she always had an attitude. I really pushed and sort of forced her to come when I knew I was going to say yes to my dress. But sadly, she has this huge attitude about everything, so I have decided to just not discuss anything about the wedding with her. Hopefully, she'll show up on wedding day and be there for me then.

@Blondie123-- she wants to force herself on everything... she calls and asks specifically about every little detail, and its so confusing what she wants. The caterer I like is too laxed and not wedding-y enough (I like the food, and it's not super uptight--the way I wanted it) But then I tried on a super sparkley dress--and that was perfect and wedding dress... but then when I tried the simple one that I loved wasn't practical enough because "when she lived in the phillipines, she would have bought a dress there that she could have died to wear again later" Just erg. Oh well I'm just going to have to tell her that if she doesn't have anything nice to say about my wedding, I'm just not going to clue her in anymore

Grrr. FmIL is bad, just today she told FH that we should consider putting dishes and sheets on our registry, she said this before and our response was always no we don't need it, and today she left FH with a "well think about it". I am so fed up with her questioning our decisions and her trying to guilt FH.. I am also upset with his lack of balls. He needs to be the one to say, its not up for discussion and end the conversation.

I sort of have the opposite problem..my FMIL won't respond to us about anything! No input at all..including that she received our message about what my mother will be wearing and that she will not pick something just the same! I sympathize with you, I know it has to be rough.

I live in a different continent than my mom and while I love and appreciate her... she is driving me crazy with the wedding stuff. I have no advice, but I truly share your pain.

I am not inviting her to anything including the ceremony or reception. She can kick gravel and travel.

You just have to stick to your guns and keep reminding mom that this is what you want, that's what I did. If I listened to everything my mom wanted for the wedding it would be completely different and I would probably be upset right now.