How can you get your spouse to go to premarital counseling?

I strongly recommend premarital counseling, so I applaud you for taking the steps. If you belong to a church and you’re comfortable with talking to one of your pastors, that’s always a start and potentially more affordable. Also, insurance covers a good portion. I know personally, our insurance (we have the same provider), covers our therapy for free until the end of June. We had to do it via zoom, but it was still great. I’d look into it.

Agreeing with PP I would check the options through your insurance, church or other community organisations. We did counselling at one point through a community org and it was basically need based. You paid what you could afford - they had a base rate but that was able to change based on the couples means. There’s also some affordable online set ups. I wouldn’t say money has to stop you from taking the next step. There are options so it doesn’t break the bank and it’s important to prioritize your relationship, even if there is some associated cost.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. I will look into it. He doesn't want a pastor to counsel us because he feels it maybe biased. But I will check around to see other options.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response as well. We just moved from Memphis to Kenner,LA and we haven't found a church home yet but I am looking for someone to counsel us soon.

As the previous posters have mentioned, there are options for low cost counseling. Check with you church or your insurance to see what they cover and what your co-pay would be (if you belong to a church or have insurance). If you have a Catholic Chatities near you, they often offer counseling. Reach out to your local 211/311/whatever the non-emergency help-line is for your state (they usually have websites that list community services as well). Another option is a community clinic through a university. If you have a university with a clinical psychology doctoral program, they often have community clinics on site where they provide low cost counseling services. It is done by doctoral-level trainees who are supervised by licensed psychologists.

View Quoted Comment Hi Hannah. Thank you for the information and support. I will be looking forward with this and take in consideration of the information that is given to me

If you’re having some issues that you need to work through you should be looking for a couples counselor or a relationship counselor, not premarital counseling. Premarital counseling is usually more specifically towards getting you guys to think about your future goals, your values, how you want to handle finances, kids, etc. and is not appropriate for working through any issues you currently are experiencing. Maybe you are looking at couples counseling and just used the wrong term, but I just wanted to make sure you were seeking out the appropriate service.


I think a lot of counselors charge based on a sliding scale depending on your income, so it might be worth asking different counselors if that something they can do. Otherwise I do think you need to express the importance and value of working out whatever your issues are to your FH and make sure that he understands that it’s an investment into your relationship, and whatever you pay for counseling will be a heck of a lot cheaper than a divorce if your issues continue unchecked.

I would just start calling around to different therapists, and see what they charge (with insurance or out of pocket). There are also lots of books on Amazon that you can do some work at home until you save enough. Some churches also offer pre-marital counseling.

I did pre-marital counseling with my church and it's free (14 1 hour sessions) b/c I'm a member. If you don't have a specific church home you can connect with a local marriage counseling group or individual counseling that may take a small fee. Call around to churches bc they often don't advertise this information online.

I strongly recommend the Catholic Charities, as well. They don't care what your religion is, they are simply there to help, and they have professional counselors of all religions as well.

Not only did DH and I use them, but I have family (who are not Catholic) who have worked for them.

Their sliding scale is very reasonable, and they don't ask you to prove your financial needs.

Our church won’t allow us to marry there without doing premarital counseling beforehand. I would just explain that it’s very important to you and you’re not comfortable getting married without it first.

View Quoted Comment Hi Tiffany. Thanks for your response to my question. I am looking and that our marriage be a good marriage with the counseling before and after.

View Quoted Comment I thank you for this information. I did find counselors that do have a sliding scale but I haven't called yet.

Thank you all for your responses. It has been very helpful for the most part and very informative. I pray that my marriage will be a wonderful and blessed marriage at the end.