How can i support a grieving bridesmaid? (Trigger Warning)

My sister-in-law had a miscarriage days before my bacherlotte party. She told me she really wanted to attend, but I told her I completely understood if she wasn't up for it. The morning of the party she called me really upset because she was feeling so sick and she felt horrible because she couldn't make it. I assured her it was fine and focus on healing. She had numerous miscarriages before this so while it wasn't easy she wasn't surprised. My advice would be to give her the space she has requested. I'm sure if she decides to back out she will let you know. I would let her come to you rather than you saying anything to her. She needs the time and space to grieve.

Do not contact her if she specifically asked you not to. She knows when your wedding is and when events are and will come if she is up for it, she knows there is no pressure. Anything you could say that mentions your wedding, even if it is to tell her "no pressure" will come off as selfish and only thinking about yourself and your events. (not saying this is true, just how she will most feel) If you'd like to do something else for her, sending food or gift cards is a great suggestion.

As someone who miscarried last summer, I feel for her.

DO give her a couple of days, and then maybe send her a simple text. Just "hugs" or a picture of a some budding trees in your neighborhood and a little 'love you'.

Having people check in on you is both the best and the worst. But being alone with the grief is the absolute worst.

Don't pressure her, though. A friend had her baby shower about 2 months after, and I couldn't make myself go. It takes time.

I agree with others, send a card to say you’re thinking of them (or praying for them if that’s appropriate) and give them the space they’ve asked for. If/when she gets in touch with you, let her know there’s no pressure and that she should do what’s best for her.

Give the space she's asking for. She will reach out when she is ready. Others have suggested a card, which you can do, but I would wait until at least a week if you can. Let her know you are there for her, and offer to help out - depending on what happened, she may feel unwell or be recovering from a procedure, so a delivered meal that keeps her from having to cook or clean up would also be a nice gesture.

I would imagine she is aware your wedding is soon. I feel like she will probably approach this conversation with you, which is the appropriate time to simply say, "I want you to do what is best for your needs right now." If she really wants more information, you are welcome to then say, "of course I would love for you to be present, but I understand completely if that is not good for you right now. And there is no time limit on letting me know." Grief is temperamental, and she may feel fine the night before and then wake up the next morning in a wave of anguish, or she may be fine at the beginning of the day and after a while realize she needs to leave. Make sure she feels safe telling you at any point - including the day of - that she isn't up for being there.

This is such good advice. I think sending a simple text that doesn't require a response back is the best way to let her know you are thinking of her without pressuring her to respond.

I would, to the best of your ability, anticipate not knowing whether or not she will be in your wedding (or even attend) until the last minute. Plan to accept and support her decision either way.