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Just Said Yes May 2023

How can i involve my bridesmaids more?

Leila, on April 18, 2022 at 3:53 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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I have asked my sisters and my two best friends to be my bridesmaids for my wedding next year. All four girls mean a lot to me so it was an easy decision to make them my bridesmaids.
So far, my friends have been far more nonchalant about it all than I expected - not really seeming interested or giving their opinions when I have sought them. I’m almost struggling to get them interested in trying to discuss how they would like to look on the day as i really value their opinion and would like to know if they have anything that they’d prefer to wear/or not…but they really aren’t showing much interest or enthusiasm.
Maybe I’m being a bit naive to the whole wedding planning experience but I’m trying to make sure everyone is as stress free as possible and enjoying the planning process with me and my partner.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get them more involved as I’m already running out of ideas!

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Steph, on April 19, 2022 at 7:37 PM

Expert October 2018
Janet · on April 18, 2022 at 4:16 PM
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Do they want to be involved? I don't mean do they want to be a bridesmaids, I mean do they want to help plan, do they want to give opinions on things, or do they just want be told please get a dress in this material, and this length? Are you getting Married in May 2023? That's more than a year away. There probably isn't that much involvement because there isn't much to be involved in yet. Doesn't mean they are not excited for you.
I doubt your bridal party members would have accepted the honorary role if they weren't excited to be in your wedding. But being excited doesn't mean being front and center, helping plan, smiling faces all the time. Some are not planners, some don't like DIY, some just want to be told what to do, some don't want to give opinions on things in fear of upsetting you because it may be your favorite option, and sometimes we talk about our wedding so much it annoys people.
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Just Said Yes May 2023
Leila · on April 18, 2022 at 4:52 PM
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I completely understand this take! I think I went into it expecting all this excitement so I think it’s just naivety on my part that it hasn’t happened that way I suppose. Thank you for your opinion
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on April 18, 2022 at 4:57 PM
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It's a common thing you'll see on here - where we wish our bridal party were more excited than they are haha. it's a balance between understanding they've got their own stuff to handle and also knowing that they ARE excited but maybe they just aren't showing it as much as we wanted
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on April 18, 2022 at 6:03 PM
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They don't have to be involved, really. Your wedding isn't for more than a year, so enjoy the planning with your spouse. I'm sure they're happy for you, but no-one will be as excited about your wedding as you and your FI are.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on April 18, 2022 at 6:51 PM
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Don't take this the wrong way, but if they aren't showing any interest in helping you plan your wedding, then the solution is not to give them more tasks or commitments. Some people just aren't that interested in wedding planning, and that's ok! It doesn't mean they aren't happy for you and excited to be your bridesmaid on your wedding day. I agree with others that a year out is way too far in advance to expect them to show much excitement. There's really nothing for them to do until it comes time to start trying on bridesmaid dresses, so for now just enjoy being engaged and planning with your fiancé!
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 18, 2022 at 11:03 PM
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It not their responsibility to plan anything. Your fiancé helps you plan. Your bridesmaids only buy a dress you pick out and stand up to support you on the wedding day. Many are asked no earlier than 6 months before the wedding wedding because there honestly is nothing they need to do before that time. Even the best of friends won’t have the same enthusiasm as you do for your wedding and that’s ok. Let them relax.
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Devoted August 2022
Emily · on April 19, 2022 at 7:50 AM
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The only people responsible to plan the wedding is the bride and groom. Bridesmaids' only duties are to stand next to you on your wedding day. Especially since your wedding is so far out, there shouldn't be any need for the bridesmaids to help plan.
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Dedicated May 2022
Steph · on April 19, 2022 at 7:37 PM
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As a bride to be we KNOW it takes time to carefully plan a wedding. So we are excited and have this sense of urgency about us that nobody really gets. It’s annoying to them and they don’t get it because they aren’t in our shoes. What you are feeling is common, and just as the other ladies have commented - there is nothing for them to do right now. Besides, you WILL change your mind on a lot of things between now and closer to the wedding, so just calmly get your ideas in order and figure out what you want and then tell them what you want them to do. That’s what WE are here for! When you want advice or to talk non stop wedding- WE GET IT! Not everyone else does, and when they want to know they will ask.
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