How can i demote my maid of honor without causing family drama??

What does she need to respond to or help you with? Your wedding is two years away and if you need help planning that is not a MOHs job. The only thing she needs to do is buy a bridesmaid dress but it is way too early for that. I would not demote anyone but if you decide to prepare to lose that friendship.

You don't. There are so many things wrong here. Your wedding is almost two years away. 23 months. What do you need her help with? I'm positive that she has a life outside of your wedding. If you need input on something, ask the person you're marrying. It's no one's job to plan your wedding except the two of you. You've asked your BP WAY too early. Ten months to a year out from the wedding is ideal. Any earlier and you have problems like this. "Demoting" her is hurtful to both friendships here. You should choose your MOH based on who you are closest to, not who does the most for you. Seriously rethink this.

When it's going on a month of waiting on some answers on simple questions like shoe size and what does she thinks if this bridesmaid dress style and you know she has talked everyone in your family but you it starts to make you wonder yes I know its 2 years away but I just want some ideas of what the girls like so they can be comfortable I get people have lives outside of my wedding but I'm hurt because I wouldn't have done this to her when she was planning hers 2 years ago I was right there hands on.

Congrats on your engagement! I can see how your MOH inaction or clarity of action can be bothersome. It may come off as indiferremce during this special time. Demoting her at this stage of the game is a tough move and in my opinion my be too early. I would ask her directly to help with specific tasks. Sometimes people are unsure of their roles or there might be a difference in opinion relating to the task at hand ie timing may be wrong.

The most important thing is communication. Sometimes you're only a phone call away from resolving the biggest of differences. As to planning, I found it helpful to add certain people that I wanted to play an active role to my pinterest boards. Hope this helps. Happy planning!

View Quoted Comment Should I just ask my best friend to be my second MOH and then nobody's feelings get hurt? Then I know if I need input or listening ear I'm covered??

Yes you can have a maid of honor and matron of honor

Honestly, if I were a bridesmaid and the bride fo be was already blowing up my phone two years out with wedding related stuff, I'd be looking for the nearest exit. I understand being excited and you can certainly start planning but tone it down with other people. Your bridesmaids don't need to be giving you opinions on what they would like to wear two years out. It's great if you did it for her but lives change and evolve and she might just not have time right now to deal with deciding what style shoe she wants to wear. I definitely wouldn't ask her to step down over what is essentially a non issue.

There's no way to go about this without causing drama. What are you expecting your current MOH to help you with exactly? You can have two MOHs if you really want to "promote" your other bridesmaid and not hurt anyone's feelings.

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In my opinion that would be the best decision, adding your other friend as a matron of honor. We don't know the implications of demoting your current MOH and how that could affect your relationship in the long run. Good luck!

Firstly, this isn't a job - you don't demote anyone. You chose her to be MOH and that is that. There is no way to "demote" someone without causing drama.

Secondly, bridesmaids and MOHs aren't required to help you with anything. Of course it's really nice and helpful when they do but you're not supposed to choose your bridal party based on what they can do for you.

As PPs pointed out, you have quite a while to go until your wedding so there really are going to be limited things she can help you out with anyway until closer to the date. Maybe when you guys get closer to the actual wedding date and when you will really need to start making decisions she will get a little more proactive.

If the other bridesmaid is being super helpful that is great and you can certainly "promote" her to MOH and just have 2. But there really is no nice way to "demote" someone. Give her some time - she may end up being more helpful down the line.

In short, you can't. I would just call your cousin and ask her if she is too busy to be your MOH, or if you assumed she had more time to dedicate to this.

Don’t demote, but definitely ask another person to be a 2nd MOH. I kind of disagree with the idea that you’re planning too early. If you’re paying for their dresses and shoes, it’s absolutely fine to ask ahead of time so you can consider your budget. If she’s really busy, that could be why she isn’t answering.

I have to plan early when you dont have the money all at once only having a little bit every other paycheck and relying on your taxes to pay for the big things like venue etc, and have only a limited amount to get the essentials, like flowers and decorations, to pull everything together you have to start planning 2 years in advance. I have talked to my family and FH and I have decided to just ask my best friend to be my second MOH and if my cousin decides to be more involved down the road good for her. She cant be upset for not being included when I tried because that's how I know it's going to be.

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Yes, you have to plan in advance. Of course! But your bridal party does NOT. There is zero need for them to be involved at this stage.

I've loved every friend whose wedding I've been in and would move mountains for them, but no way would I be answering questions about dresses and shoes two years in advance. You need to take a step back.

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It's way too early to bug her about what her shoe size is and what she thinks of dress styles. Your wedding is two years away. Revisit the dress styles question when you're 6-9 months out from the wedding. I don't know why you would ever need to know her shoe size. Your wedding is the most exciting thing in your life, but to other people it's a party that's two years away. Wait until it's a lot closer to the actual wedding date to start talking to people about your wedding or you're going to burn people out well before your wedding arrives.

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YOU plan early, or rather you and your fiancé plan early. Your wedding party does not. Bridesmaid and MOH are honorary roles - you are honoring them for their roles in your lives, not giving them jobs to do. Their only "duty" is to get the dress - which should be chosen with their comfort and budget in mind - and show up on the day of the wedding. They are not wedding planners. If they choose, as friends and family of yours, to help you plan and execute your party, great! Be thankful for the extra help. But don't resent those that don't or can't, especially two years away from your wedding.

Man I have been in the wrong weddings. I was put to work early, very early. Especially with my cousin I am talking about. I was her MOH and I was more her "body guard so people couldn't annoy her", her words not mine. But I'll just keep going on with my plan of just having 2 MOHs and get advice from the who actually answers me. They are both married so they have some tips and tricks. But one only seems to want the involved in anything so I have my answer.