How can i be a good sister in law?

You should absolutely keep insisting on his help. He’s known these people his whole life, you’ve known them for a handful of years.

I think partners should always help the other navigate their families until the bonds are formed.

Relationships can't be forced, and all parties have to be willing. You cannot construct a relationship out of thin air, no matter how much your FS wants you to. I say, continue to be polite and open to any advances they make while just going about your life.

When your FS brings up the subject again gently remind him that you can't control other people and you remain ready and willing to form relationships as they happen.

I’m working on building relationships with people who I’ve never met in his family or I’ve only met once. They all live in different states so it’s hard. I’m shy but I try to remember what’s most important. I always send happy birthdays, merry Christmases, Facebook friend requests, pictures, cards, baby gifts. Anything to just reach out and let them know I care. Some of them I will be meeting at the wedding and some of them I feel awkward around but I will smile and ask how they’re doing. I really think that is enough for them to meet you halfway.

You can't pull a relationship out of the air. It's really your Fiance's job to introduce you to his family properly and facilitate something if he wants you all to be close. I'd tell your fiance you're interested in trying but feel like it would be off putting for you to suddenly be involved with his family and that maybe he should think of a few group activities you all can do together. If he doesn't do it remind him he didn't do what you told him to do to fix the situation. He'll eventually do it or drop it.

View Quoted Comment I met his whole family after 3 months of dating. I soooooo wasn’t ready and still regret meeting them so soon but it was Christmas and he wanted to bring me home I guess. And even then I walked into the room with everyone staring at me awkwardly and he didn’t introduce me or anything so I literally felt like I was pushed off a boat to sink or swim with sharks lol

View Quoted Comment I admire you for this. Were you like this from the start of when you and your SO started dating? I felt really rushed into meeting fiancé’s family? I attended a few family functions at the beginning like a baby shower and bdays and holidays but I honestly stopped bc we were having relationship trouble and my anxiety kicked in on another level. It would just feel so phony if all of a sudden I reached out out of nowhere. I don’t know

I think you'll be fine because you're getting married. You can reach out and just ask them how's it going.
My fiance's parents refused to invite me anywhere until we had been together three years and his aunts told them they were being rude. So I have the opposite problem where I have to meet everyone later and it's also awkward. And his parents don't greet me or introduce me so I have to do it myself.
I think it's always awkward probably. Assimilating into a different family is always going to be weird.

View Quoted Comment So I had dated my fiancé for a year when I first met his mom. Before that I had no contact with the family. Then we went through a bad situation, broke up, got back together. I didn’t start reaching out til the first Christmas we were engaged, not because I didn’t like them or something, just because I hadn’t really thought about it and was shy. Planning the wedding made me realize it was important for me to get to know my future children’s grandparents aunts uncles etc. also I am now going to be someone’s daughter in law, sister in law, aunt. once my fiancé finally gave me phone numbers and addresses that’s when I started reaching out. We took a trip to meet his grandma and aunts only last month. Maybe these things felt random, but you have to start somewhere! And then it started getting easier. I’ve found that people honestly don’t care if it’s random as long as it’s kind. I’m sure they would love to hear from you.

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I think Peggy has great advice for you. Make an effort to send them an email to wish them happy birthday, or send them a card, etc. Do some little gestures (consistently) to show you care. Can you think of an activity you would mutually enjoy? Maybe you can do something active together. Whenever I am feeling socially awkward I always find it easier to engage when doing an activity. For instance, sitting around a dinner table talking is intimidating whilst sitting around a table doing a big puzzle together or a board game is easier. It can remove the pressure of constant conversation and eye contact. If your fiancée doesn't feel you are trying enough then I think it's important to listen to that feedback and step it up a bit where possible.

FH should be helping you create bonds with his family! It can be awkward getting to know a whole new family. He shouldn't leave you alone with this

My FH tends to leave me to the sharks too. He has very little to say when we see his parents & brother (FFIL and FBIL tend to do all the talking) and just leaves me to find my place in it all. 3 years in, I still have no idea what to call his parents- Mr & Mrs HisLastName? Their first names? No idea. No one has ever clarified it. I don’t feel like either one of us really has a place in his family.

I'm kind of in a similar position. I've been with FH for 10 years. I've met his family NUMEROUS times. His grandparents introduced me as his FRIEND for 8.5 years until we were engaged. I can't tell you how mad that made me.

FH likes to go to his grandparents and basically sit in silence. He is not a talker, neither are they. That is like my worst nightmare.

As soon as we got engaged, it was like a light switch flipped on and his Mema started acting like we were best friends. It's been great since then.

SO long story short, I've had to form my own relationship with his family members because I'm usually loud and outspoken and he is the silent type. He'd never try to ease me into a conversation, that just isn't him. So I've gone out of my way to get phone numbers of cousins, add them on facebook, talk to them, etc. You might just have to suck it up and find something you have in common until you aren't as nervous anymore.