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Just Said Yes August 2025

How bad is it to not go to a wedding with your bf/gf?

.., on March 22, 2018 at 4:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17

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Hi there,

i asked this this question on another website, but then deleted it, but now I realize I shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask this question since it’s nothing to personal, just general advice. I made this account to ask this question(not engaged or married and won’t be anytime soon btw)

My question is how bad do you view not attending a wedding with your bf or gf?

My bf is going to a wedding alone in 4 days(wedding is an hour and a half away) and when he told me months ago that we got invited to a wedding, because he got the save the date I told him I didn’t want to go, because I never met the couple, and he was completely laid back about it and hasn’t mentioned anything about them or their wedding since. The truth is I would go to a wedding without having met the couple, because I don’t want my boyfriend to go alone but I have reason to belief that this friend of his is a terrible friend, and I don’t need to have met him to know that, my boyfriend has no idea I feel this way about this friend, and I told him I didn’t want to go simply because I haven’t met the couple to not make a big thing, but this story is for another day.

Anyways, I am starting to feel so anxious and guilty thinking about him going alone, getting ready along, driving alone, sitting alone and how it will look to others when his girlfriend isn’t there. He’s very talkative and outgoing, but I still can’t help but feel guilty. I don’t think he knows anyone at that wedding, but there might be some high school friends also invited to that wedding who are going to think it’s weird his girlfriend of 3 years isn’t there, I’m also anxious he might post a photo on social media alone at the wedding, and people might think that is strange.

Should I feel guilty for not attending this wedding or should I shrug it off considering my boyfriend is okay with it and is very talkative and outgoing even when alone?

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17 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on March 23, 2018 at 7:59 PM

Master June 2016
Sarah · on March 22, 2018 at 5:04 PM
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I wouldn’t feel guilty for not going, but I also wouldn’t have lied about why I didn’t want to go.
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Master October 2017
fallinthegarden · on March 22, 2018 at 5:06 PM
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It's totally fine to not go if you really don't want to and it doesn't bother him. I doubt people will really think much of it.
H and I are going to a wedding in a couple weeks that H is a GM in, and I wasn't sure if I was going to go until like New Year's. H would have been fine on his own, and I doubt anyone would have thought twice about me not being there, especially since we have to take time off work and pay for flights, rental car, etc.
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Dedicated November 2018
LP-WiscoBride · on March 22, 2018 at 5:07 PM
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Honestly, I think you are making too much of this. I don't think people are going to read into it that much. They might ask him where you are but is that such a big deal? What if the situation was just that you had other plans and so he went alone because you couldn't go? I understand feeling bad he'll be there by himself, but I really don't think you should be stressing yourself out about this.
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Master October 2016
Mrs. Fall Bride · on March 22, 2018 at 5:07 PM
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I don't think you should worry about what other people think about him attending alone. If he was fine with it, and you really didn't want to go that badly, who cares what anyone else has to say about it? But at this point, 4 days out, I think it's a little too late to be having remorse. If you were considering changing your mind, the time to do that would've been about 2 weeks ago, before the couple likely had to turn in their final numbers. It would be a PITA for them to add you back in now, if that's where you're going with this...
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VIP November 2018
ISaidHallYes · on March 22, 2018 at 5:09 PM
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Do not feel bad about how it will look. FH has had attended weddings without me. I have gone to weddings with him. I would however sit down and talk about the real reason you aren't going. That is important!
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Devoted May 2018
MsMay · on March 22, 2018 at 5:11 PM
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It’s seems like when you originally told him you didn’t want to go you assumed that he would not go either. Unfortunately now you are in the position where he decided to go alone which is completely fine. My Ex and I went to separate weddings on the same day once because we both were very close to the people getting married and going to both wasn’t an option. I wouldn’t worry how it looks .
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Super January 2019
PalmTrees · on March 22, 2018 at 5:14 PM
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I wouldn’t feel guilty at all, you don’t need to go to everything together. Most likely no one will even notice and if they do they’ll just assume you were busy. I don’t think it’s out of the ordinary for someone to go to a wedding alone.
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VIP June 2018
PrincessLawrence · on March 22, 2018 at 5:18 PM
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I have gone to many weddings without my FH just because he has had to work. No one said anything. However I do think you should tell him the truth
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VIP January 2019
Daria · on March 22, 2018 at 5:20 PM
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If it was because I wasn't invited, I'd be mad. If I just didn't want to or couldn't go? Meh. He can decide for himself if he's comfortable with that. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't care as long as I knew other people.
I am inviting 4 couples to my wedding. I know the ladies quite well, and they are close to one another. The husbands range from casual acquaintance to never met. I am properly inviting all 8 people, but I would be surprised if all the husbands actually come and the ladies didn't make a girls trip out of it.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on March 22, 2018 at 5:34 PM
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I wouldn’t feel guilty or think it was weird or judge any part of a couple of only one of them attended the wedding.
i would feel guilty about not being honest with my partner though
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on March 22, 2018 at 5:37 PM
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( not that I would be all “your friend sucks” but I’d still be a little more open)

anyway, he made the decision to go even if you weren’t interested, so it seems like he’s fine with it
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VIP May 2018
FutureMrsR · on March 22, 2018 at 6:54 PM
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I don't think it's a problem to go to a wedding alone, especially if your boyfriend doesn't mind. I personally wouldn't want to go to a wedding without my FH, but I'm pretty shy.
Like PP have said, I think you'd feel better about it if you had just been honest about why you didn't want to go. If your boyfriend's friends aren't treating him well, you ought to speak up!
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Devoted July 2019
Lexi · on March 22, 2018 at 7:07 PM
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It's completely fine. My FH went alone to one of his friend's wedding even though we we're dating at the time. And yes, I was invited.
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on March 23, 2018 at 1:34 PM
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We've each been to a bunch of weddings solo!! The last one my husband attended by himself was for one of his golf buddies I've met only a handful of times and it was in California (we live in DC). He had other friends attending so it was way easier for me to sit it out, save the cost of a cross-country flight, and then he was also able to split a room with two of his guy friends to keep their cost down!
I've also attended weddings solo when my husband had a work conference or other commitment that weekend, and we've split up before and each gone to a different wedding!
It's not weird at all but I would prep your fiance with a "they couldn't make it but send their best" response!
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VIP October 2017
Cassidy · on March 23, 2018 at 2:33 PM
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I wouldn't feel comfortable not going to a wedding with my husband. It depends on how many people he knows at the wedding. Like if he knew most people at the wedding, it'd be fine. If he didn't, I might feel weird. But in certain circumstances, I wouldn't get upset with him going to a wedding without me.
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Dedicated June 2017
Scarlett · on March 23, 2018 at 4:50 PM
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Agree with others. I would have no issue going to a wedding without my husband (mostly financial reasons as we have a number of friends/family getting married throughout the country the next few years and it is really tough for us to both out of state 4 times a year). I think you should be honest on why you don't want to attend though.
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Just Said Yes April 2018
Sarah · on March 23, 2018 at 7:59 PM
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My FH is going to a wedding without me due to my bachelorette party being on the same day-I originally planned on going but we had to reschedule due to weather. The couple are very understanding which is nice
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