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Super September 2018

Hosting a dinner after private wedding?

Lc, on March 30, 2018 at 8:28 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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Hey guys,

FH and I are going to be getting married in Greece and combining it with our honeymoon basically. We are doing this privately and not inviting anyone else in our families.

I was was hoping to still be able to host a dinner party (not a reception), to celebrate our marriage with our family. However, I’m wondering if that comes off as rude or self-centered.

We really aren’t the type that wants the big wedding in front of everyone, so the private wedding is what we really want to do. I’m just looking for thoughts on whether or not the dinner/celebration is a good idea?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Raven, on March 31, 2018 at 9:47 AM

Dedicated October 2019
Stephanie · on March 30, 2018 at 8:38 PM
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My FH and myself are doing the same thing except in Hawaii. We are planning a reception/dinner about a month later. This being my 2nd marriage I just don't want the stress of planning a wedding.
We are inviting a lot of family from out of state so we arent expecting a huge turnout as it is basically just a big ( expensive ) family dinner.
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Expert June 2018
LeeAnne · on March 30, 2018 at 8:39 PM
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I think it is! It still gives everyone the chance to celebrate your commitment to each other!
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VIP July 2018
The Nuptials · on March 30, 2018 at 8:47 PM
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I think it is lovely. I don't know if I would personally invite out of town guests, as I don't know if I would travel more than just a drive (no flight) for this. Nothing personal, but it is a daily short affair and no ceremony to watch. I also know someone who did this then followed up with a brewery party for 60, seemed like a great time.
Every other day I wish our extravaganza was a wee bit smaller, more on the extended family end, I want all the friends, they are the 'real' family!
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VIP November 2018
ISaidHallYes · on March 30, 2018 at 8:57 PM
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I know a lot of people who have done this! I think it’s self centered but in an apppropriate way! It’s to celebrate your marriage. Plus you are doing it as a destination wedding. It isn’t like you are having a ceremony in town then throwing it without inviting them. I say go for it and host an awesome dinner party!
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on March 30, 2018 at 9:07 PM
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It's fine to invite people to a celebration of your recent marriage. Just make sure that the invitation is clearly worded so the guests will know that you are already married, and there won't be a ceremony.
https://www.invitationconsultants.com/samplewording.aspx?p_subcategory=206
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Savvy July 2018
Kristen · on March 30, 2018 at 9:16 PM
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We are also doing something similar, although our ceremony will be in the same town as our "reception/celebration" but a few days before. I didn't want a lot of people at our ceremony (I'm also more private, and only want close family and friends present), but we know lots of people who want to celebrate with us, so we thought doing a small ceremony, followed by a casual bbq/party a few days later was a good compromise.
I don't think it's rude or self-centered at all! Your friends and family likely want to celebrate with you, and as long as you're clear that it's a celebration, and not a ceremony, I wouldn't think twice about it. At the end of the day, it's your wedding, and you should celebrate in a way that's most authentic to you.
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Dedicated July 2018
Miranda · on March 31, 2018 at 6:35 AM
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It seems wise to give the people close to you a chance to at least celebrate with you. If they find it rude to be invited to that it seems more rude to me than you not bothering at all. Your wedding, your choice.
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VIP September 2018
rica · on March 31, 2018 at 9:38 AM
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Are you eloping or will there be family in Greece with you? Will the dinner party be in Greece or closer to your guests, assuming you don’t live in Greece?
Assuming you’re eloping, honeymooning, then returning home, I think it’s a lovely idea! As a guest, I would be happy to attend and get to take part in some celebrating.
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Devoted February 2019
Raven · on March 31, 2018 at 9:47 AM
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My aunt did this like 40 years ago. She was married in Australia and then had a big celebration back here in the states with the family. No one had hurt feelings or anything and were honestly grateful that they didn't have to shell out the money to fly to Australia. I think a wedding is about the two of you and the reception is about the family. It's not like you are secretly eloping and not telling anyone.
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