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Lauren
Dedicated September 2022

Honoring passed parents?

Lauren, on September 7, 2021 at 6:01 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 10
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I lost my father unexpectedly in August. I am getting married in 2022 and want to honor him in my ceremony. He would have walked me down the aisle and had a father-daughter dance as well as done a blessing before the meal.


My fiancé’s father is also passed and I don’t have another strong male figure in my life.
When some time has passed, I will probably ask my mother to walk me down the aisle.
For those of you who have lost parents (or even absent father figures), how did you/are you planning on honoring them or doing those traditional parts differently?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Elly, on September 10, 2021 at 3:48 AM
  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. It has to be so hard planning your wedding while mourning the loss of your dad. My father-in-law passed away just before we got engaged and it's been very bittersweet. We're going to have a memory candle lit in his honor and I have bouquet charm with his picture on it. You have some time to think about how you'd like honor him.
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  • Monica
    Devoted August 2021
    Monica ·
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    My dad passed away 11 years ago. I'm not a very public griever (if that makes sense) and I didn't want to focus on my dad not being there. So I decided to honor him in a way that was just for me by sewing a piece of his old shirt into my dress as my something blue. Only I and close family knew it was there and it was really special to have a piece of him over my heart that day. Honoring passed parents? 1

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  • Liz
    Savvy August 2021
    Liz ·
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    I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my dad suddenly about 9 months before my elopement/2 years before my wedding celebration. For both occasions I wore a pendant with his thumbprint so I could feel like he was walking me down the aisle. We also hired a classical guitarist for the celebration (my dad played guitar in the same style).

    Everyone grieves differently, but when I eloped I underestimated my grief and the emotions of the day. My vows contained a very vague reference to my husband helping me through "hard times" and there was a very long pause as I was trying not to cry. For the wedding celebration I decided to avoid pictures and direct mentions of my dad, and stick to subtle tributes, but everyone is different. This was just my personal experience.

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  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2022
    Lauren ·
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    Oh I love that. He was very involved with a organization called Knights of Columbus and their color is blue. That is so perfect. I have dress his shirt and tie.
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  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2022
    Lauren ·
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    I definitely do have some time but it’s helping me grieve the loss of his presence at my wedding because I swear he was more excited than me! I love the bouquet charm idea so he can walk with me and mom. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️
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  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2022
    Lauren ·
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    Yes, I can definitely see that. I’m glad you were able to include your dad in a way that felt good to you. My dad was the life of the party so his absence will be felt by everyone who knew him.
    I definitely think being “in control” of the ways he is represented on the day will help me feel more prepared for the inevitable feelings and the way I will need to cope on the day. Thank you for sharing! ❤️
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  • Melissa
    Dedicated October 2023
    Melissa ·
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    I am putting pictures of my dad and stepdad in little frames and pinning them to the wrap on my bouquet, we are having a moment of silence during the ceremony for those we have lost (my FIL is has also passed), and I am going to honor them somehow during the reception.
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  • Monica
    Devoted August 2021
    Monica ·
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    Thank you! That sounds perfect. Sorry for your loss and hope you have a beautiful wedding! 💕
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  • E
    Expert September 2022
    EGD ·
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    Not my dad, but I lost all four of my grandparents, though I was far closer to my maternal grandparents. We lost my maternal grandfather 5 years ago and I don't think I'll ever be done grieving. I have his nickname "poppy" tattooed on my back in his handwriting and specifically made sure I bought a dress that showed that tattoo, I will also be having poppies in my bouquet.

    My mom got me a charm set to wrap around my bouquet with pictures of all four of my grandparents and a charm that says "I know you'd be here today if heaven weren't so far"

    My FH lost his uncle who was his godfather, and my mom got him a matching pendent like mine, that we will put on a safety pin and pin to the inside of his jacket.

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  • E
    Devoted August 2023
    Elly ·
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    In several military balls, there is always a table with black linens, a place setting, and sometimes a single rose and folded flag to honor the fallen. I am considering having a table with pictures of our deceased family and friends, maybe with place settings and candles.

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